exsilium | text / anonymous / encrypted

[There are some things you can't run from. For Peter, he's been trying to run, but things keep coming up, keep reminding him. He went a good month of pretending that he was just a normal guy who made it out of his world alive. It was a good lie. Even for those people who knew him as Spider-Man, no one needed to know that his final moments in his life were spent saving Aunt May. They didn't need to know that he had given his all and that he was actually happy with what he managed.

But there's dying. And then there's finding out you aren't dead. There's finding out that you have a whole new life, and that somewhere, in another dimension, a "you" managed to grow up. Sue knew him. Bucky knew him. Even that grumpy Nathan guy knew a Spider-Man. And for all that, he's been trying to make it less obvious that he's surprised that he grew up. It's been hard, and he knows it'll continue.

It has to, after all. With great power and all that, and this world has bigger problems than his.

But still, he sets out to ask this question, because he knows it's better to ask now than later. He had to be careful about what thing he said to Charlie that one day. When he phrases his question, he rereads it a couple times, taking out anything that sounds too much like him. The last thing Peter needs is someone tracing it back to him.

He's not ready for those conversations.]

I've got a question, but first, please don't try to trace this back to me. If you've already done that and broken my encryption, let's just pretend you didn't. [Also, you're a jerk, but he had to cut that part out. Too ... him.]

What happens if you died before you came here? What's left for me after this all ends? Before you ask, yeah, I definitely died.

I just thought I'd ask.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You could use it start over.

Yeah, that's the general suggestion.

Though it's kind of a sad suggestion in and of itself.

Why's it sad? It could be a chance you'll never get again.

Well, the whole "all my loved ones aren't a part of this experience." That part.

They won't be if you go back to being dead either.

Got your point.

Don't get caught up on that single insignificant detail.

At least, it's insignificant compared to the much, much bigger picture here.

Alright, fine, but let me ask you something. None of these loved ones have made it here?

No. Bad luck, right? I'd love to be able to tell them good-bye for good.

Edited 2014-01-01 02:49 (UTC)

I dunno. Would you really want them going through the same things you are?

But I get what you mean. Sometimes you'd like to be able to talk to them again - at least one more time.

At least I'd have someone. It's sorta obvious that I don't want to bother anyone with this.

... Well, I hope it's obvious.

The whole anonymous bit did give it away.

So you're okay with someone else being brought here as long as it means you don't actually have to be honest about your feelings?

Some people think I'm just hiding the inevitable truth from friends. Which, well, they're free to.

... And that just makes me sound like a jerk.

Which I guess I am.

I miss them.