exsilium | text / anonymous / encrypted

[There are some things you can't run from. For Peter, he's been trying to run, but things keep coming up, keep reminding him. He went a good month of pretending that he was just a normal guy who made it out of his world alive. It was a good lie. Even for those people who knew him as Spider-Man, no one needed to know that his final moments in his life were spent saving Aunt May. They didn't need to know that he had given his all and that he was actually happy with what he managed.

But there's dying. And then there's finding out you aren't dead. There's finding out that you have a whole new life, and that somewhere, in another dimension, a "you" managed to grow up. Sue knew him. Bucky knew him. Even that grumpy Nathan guy knew a Spider-Man. And for all that, he's been trying to make it less obvious that he's surprised that he grew up. It's been hard, and he knows it'll continue.

It has to, after all. With great power and all that, and this world has bigger problems than his.

But still, he sets out to ask this question, because he knows it's better to ask now than later. He had to be careful about what thing he said to Charlie that one day. When he phrases his question, he rereads it a couple times, taking out anything that sounds too much like him. The last thing Peter needs is someone tracing it back to him.

He's not ready for those conversations.]

I've got a question, but first, please don't try to trace this back to me. If you've already done that and broken my encryption, let's just pretend you didn't. [Also, you're a jerk, but he had to cut that part out. Too ... him.]

What happens if you died before you came here? What's left for me after this all ends? Before you ask, yeah, I definitely died.

I just thought I'd ask.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Soft and sad.] I wish I knew.

I think the best thing for us to do is just - focus on this, right now. Not things we can't change, or things that might never happen.

There's a lot of "us." That's the really depressing part here.

But you've got a point.

It is. But at least we've got a chance, here. [They can still live and love and make a difference.

She's quiet, for a moment - and then, softly.] It helps to remember, too. If you ever want to talk about the people you left behind...

That's a lot to offer to an anonymous guy.

But that'd be nice. I'll keep you in mind.

It's not hard to listen.

I'm Jean. Jean Summers.

I'll come find you later, okay? If I need it. Which knowing me, I might. I talk to myself too much as it is.

Any time.

Or you could just think my name real loud, and I could come to you.

... You can't tell who I am right now, can you?

[Because he's definitely thinking about her.

And how that ties into the time he thought about her naked.

Like an awkward teenage boy.]

No.

Are you thinking something you shouldn't? [Boys.]

I only think the purest thoughts. [Which is at least true most of the time with Peter.]

Uh-huh.

[And she hesitates, for a moment. When she speaks again, her voice is softer.]

Can I ask how old you are?

That'll give me away too much. Sorry, Jean.

[Softly sincere.] That's fine. Really.

Thanks for understanding.

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