♞ riku (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
limitstorm) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
exsilium2013-12-24 02:31 am
limitstorm) wrote in exsilium2013-12-24 02:31 am
thirteen (text) ♞ ❝two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree.❞
I'm starting to think I'm the only one coming up with resolutions for the New Year, around here...
If you hear anyone singing off-tune in the next few days, I'm sorry. From the looks of it, my best friend started giving out caroling lessons, even if he knows he's tone-deaf.
Just throw a snowball at his head, he'll knock it off.
If you hear anyone singing off-tune in the next few days, I'm sorry. From the looks of it, my best friend started giving out caroling lessons, even if he knows he's tone-deaf.
Just throw a snowball at his head, he'll knock it off.
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[There's something a little sad in his eyes then, like maybe he's worried Riku honestly doesn't get this.]
If I didn't think it was worth it, I wouldn't bother helping you. If I hadn't wanted to help Roxas and Xion, I wouldn't have gone to the lengths I did for them.
You don't patch the holes in a shirt you're never gonna wear; you don't put up with the quirks of the people you aren't invested in.
Right?
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Everything's about balance. Give and take, light and dark, bad and good.
[ but where their thoughts diverge is, of course, is putting up with people who you don't have a personal interest in. masters can't pick and choose who they pay attention to; riku has never bothered. sure, he tolerates more from sora, kairi, and lea--but... ]
Right. [ he says, simple and quiet. ]
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[He shakes his head.]
Balance, right. [He reaches over then and taps Riku in the forehead.] So tell me then, where you come into the equation? You spend so much time looking after everybody else, and none looking after yourself. [A hint of a smile.] Seems a little unbalanced, to me.
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That's-- [ easy, I'm just... ] I mean, it's... [ ... ]
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It's... what, exactly? [If you've got a good excuse he would love to hear it. He sighs softly and gives a hopeless shake of his head.] Look, I'm not here to heckle you. ... Well, okay, I like heckling you, but only when it's in good fun. All I'm trying to say is that if you run yourself into the ground you're not gonna do anybody any good.
[He examines his fingernails a moment, then his eyes flick to the clock.]
Have you even eaten yet?
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and tensing when he queries to his eating habits. ]
I--I didn't know what to make.
[ BT ]
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Okay that does it. [He gets to his feet, pressing one hand against the top of Riku's head to stop him from also getting up like he knows he's gonna.] No. Stay. My ankle's fine, and I'm gonna make you a damn sandwich or something, sheesh. Seriously, how did you even survive this long?
[And he heads for the kitchen, shaking his head and grumbling indecipherably.]
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[ damn it, lea times him way too well. he glowers at his back, grabbing a pillow and hurtling it at his head. ]
I'm fine!
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[Nope, pillow warfare won't work. The ammo lands, and Lea whirls quickly to catch the pillow on its way down, flinging it back at Riku.]
But even fine people need to eat. [You can decide what sort of fineness he's talking about--he's not telling. Heckle heckle. He pulls the fridge open and grabs the jam and bread, then turns to find the peanut butter and the jar of honey.] I promised somebody I'd make sure you did. You know I don't break promises, so work with me here.
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can't be sad with puppies around. ]
What're you making me? It better not be anything gross.
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Oop, too bad. I'm making rotisserie fried Gross with Yuck gravy and a side of Ewww. [Jam on the other slice of bread, and he presses them together.] For dessert I thought I'd whip up a pan of Oh My Light What The Hell Is That. [With the bread still pressed together between both hands, he concentrates a moment, his palms heating up abruptly, and then he drops the sandwich onto a plate. Voila, grilled, aww yiss.
[He slices it in half and then makes his way back to the living room, handing Riku the plate, but not before taking a bite of one half of the sandwich.]
Had to make sure it wasn't poisoned. Can't trust folks these days.
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[ he starts, slowly, raising an eyebrow at the ceiling. as lea goes on, however, he snorts a laugh and covers his mouth to try and stifle it; by the time lea moves over to him, riku's red in the face from controlling his laughter. he reaches for the plate, raising a brow with a smile when lea takes a bite. ]
Yeah, sure, like I can't trust you.
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[It's good to hear him laugh, though. Really, he doesn't do it enough; there's a lightness to him when he really laughs, like maybe he's shaken off the heavy mantle of the hand life dealt him. Even if it's only for a moment, they're good moments.
[Riku's words catch him off guard, though, and there's that squelchy feeling in his gut again, as though a hand just sort of tightened and pulled. He's familiar with the term 'heartstrings', but he was pretty sure he'd never actually felt anything tug on them before. He's not so sure of that anymore.
[With a breathless sort of sound that passes for a laugh, Lea flops sideways onto the couch and threads his fingers behind his head. The smile in his voice belies the serious expression on his face.]
I dunno, are you sure? I mean, I'm pretty dastardly when I put my mind to it.
[No, Lea. You're really not. You mentor newbies and rescue kittens. You play a good villain on TV, but you're about as dastardly as a Meow Wow.]
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[ he supposes it's something he's gonna have to start doing. but without even blinking an eye-- ]
Sure, when you want to be. When you have to be. But you're not like that all time--you're clever all the time. It's different, and I still trust you.
I wouldn't have died for you if I didn't.
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[At Riku's confession, though, Lea actually inhales sharply enough to cough, then sits up, looking rattled. He still can't get over that. That had been long before there was even any noteworthy amenability between them. He knows Riku had known him as Lea back then, knows he still had catching up to do at that time, but the fact that Riku had just thrown himself into his own death for him that way, without a second thought...
[He shakes his head sharply to clear it, exhaling vocally, and then he shifts where he sits, feet on the floor and elbows on his knees. He covers his mouth with one hand, looking a little uncomfortable for a moment, then frowns at him.]
I still... don't even know what to think about that. [It's a confession, a lamentation.] I was still such an ass then, and you... [He makes a helpless sort of flapping motion with one arm, then kneads his forehead. He makes a sound not unlike a cough.] You trusted me before I even trusted myself. [A noise that wants to be a laugh but doesn't quite manage.] I can't ever repay that.
[It's true; everything else aside, it was Riku's act of trust that had driven Axel to want to be someone trustworthy, long before his own destiny would unfold that way. It's a debt he will never feel is repaid.]
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You already did. If Xehanort ever got his hands on Sora... [ riku hesitates. he knows exactly what he would've done. anything and everything. ] ... if he'd turned into a vessel, everything would've gone wrong. You saved my life when you saved him.
[ he looks back down to his messy hands, and gives an awkward shrug. ]
Don't worry about it.
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[Hypocrite. You can't write off having saved someone's life and then expect to be allowed to be beholden for receiving the same treatment. Sora was already a hero when he saved him. Riku didn't save Lea, he'd saved Axel, and Lea's not sure Axel was even worth saving. Not then.
[He exhales and makes something like a raspberry sound, then makes a face at Riku.]
Sheesh, you're making a mess. I can't take you anywhere.
[Yes good subject change.]
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We both did the same thing. I died for you, but you died to help, too--and then you went and saved him when you were Lea.
[ his brows furrow and he takes a few more bites of his sandwich. with a mouth half full, messy hand covering his lips; ]
If what you did was nothing special, so was what I did. You can't have it both ways.
1/2
[Okay he's kind of exasperated now. He smears both hands down his face and hangs his head.]
Can we please just... try not to die for one another anymore? [Without context it sounds a little ridiculous, but there's an honest plea in the request that saps all the amusement out of the concept. He rakes his hands back into his hair and shakes his head.] I know, I know, that if it comes down to one of us or the other, that the one is going to take the bullet for the other. Because I know that's how you work. And apparently that's how I work too. [A beat, and he lets his hands fall between his knees again, staring at them.] We've both lost enough, okay? Let's... let's not add each other to the list.
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[--and then snaps one hand up to stifle a laugh. There's peanut butter on Riku's upper lip and the juxtaposition of the very heavy conversation with that is just enough to make him lose it.]
Nice 'stache.
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[ because riku doesn't want to see lea die in his arms, like he knows he died in his.
the laughter brings him to blink a few times, and he brings his fingers to his upper lip, which only makes the peanut butter smear more. he blushes a pretty scandalized red. ]
Ugh! [ brb wiping with sleeve, although there's a particularly brave puppy that's keen on licking his face. ]
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[He hates the sad topics. There's so much weight to carry back home, so much pain and sadness, so much pressure to repair the damage that Xehanort has done. Neither of them asked for this.
[Exsilium is his escape. Here he can fool himself into believing this is how it's supposed to be. Here he isn't the weakest link in their chain, the chink in their armor. Of the Keyblade wielders, he's the newest and the least experienced--he knows that if they fail, if Xehanort wins, it'll be because he didn't try hard enough.
[He's not ready to face that. He's not prepared to deal with that.
[For now, he'll sweep it back under the rug. He's gotten really good at pretending he's fine--better than Riku, better than anyone, really. Most days he can even fool himself. Time to nail the rug back down.
[He leans back against the couch and puts his feet up on the table.]
Anyway. Enough about that. You celebrated this Christmas thing back home, yah? [He tilts his head curiously.] What other holidays did you have on your islands?
[Please yes subject change now okok]
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[ damn puppies. ]
It's about... uh, friendships, family, and relationships. [ he rubs the back of his neck with his clean hand as the puppy starts to lick at his hand. ] It's after Easter. You know that one, right? Easter bunny leaves eggs for kids to find?
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[And then... the face he makes omg.]
Wh-- Rabbits don't lay eggs.
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