three; video

[irritating]

[ Hi so here's a video of this asshole sitting on the floor of her moonbase room, looking... messily festive. She's got a few strings of silver tinsel randomly wrapped around her head and shoulders, a string of blinking, multi coloured lights hanging over her wings, and there appears to be a snowman sticker stuck to her cheek. ]

Right so I've been packin' shit up and I realized I never said hey fuck you guys like I should've, so hey fuck you guys, especially you Earthy folk 'cause not a single one of you fucks told me about department stores. I mean fuckin' come on, look at all the shit they have -

[ She tilts the camera to the floor around her and wow yeah she sure has been robbing Walmarts. Actually you can't even see the floor itself, it's just... stuff, literally everywhere, with barely a thing in her suitcase (which still has all the tags on it) that's just laying there among the pile, open and abandoned. Apollo then sets the tablet back down on the bed so she can once again have her hands free. ]

Hey by the way, Donny and medfriends, got the shit you wanted. Got uh, little hammered there for a bit and I mighta temporarily lost the damn bag I put it all in but I got it again! You assholes still on the moon or didya take off to snowland already? And actually y'know what, speakin' of snowland, I'm gonna be real sweet and letcha haaaaave [ rustle rustle ] some of these too! [ Is that a box of flavoured condoms she's holding up right now, wow it sure is. ] Kinda figure it's cold as balls down there so hey, how 'bout some fruity humpin' to keep everyone warm? Like fuck you got uh, let's see. [ Reading from the back and adding her own embellishments: ] Grapedick? Sure! Bananadong? No problem! Berrycock? Gotcha fuckin' covered! [ God she looks so pleased with life right now. ] What a fuckin' world Earth is, hey?



By hey seriously it looks really goddamn cold down there and Metalhead ate the gloves I stole, anyone wanna help a tropical girl out and gimme somethin' to keep my fingers from freezin' the fuck off?

Comments

[badnewsboy]

I'm in need of all four of those things, actually! Along with a Midgardian treasure known as "silly string." I've heard it lives up to its name!

[irritating]

Well shit kid, come with me next time! They got way too much shit for me to bring back myself all at once, so I'm gonna haveta do a couple more trips before I start feelin' satisfied, y'know?

[badnewsboy]

[being sneaky plus five finger discounts? count him in!]

Your satisfaction does need to be met. How could I turn down such an offer? Consider me your good company!

[irritating]

[ BEAMING ] Perfect! Kinda gettin' the feeling that I'll need some more supplies once I get my ass down to Earth again, so I'll letcha know tomorrow when I'm goin'. You're uhhh... Loki, yeah?

[badnewsboy]

Loki, yes!

[going off with strangers to make good decisions!]

You've remembered on the first try. Ignoring, of course, my name on the forum. ... It was meant as a compliment.

[irritating]

Yeah I'm just good like that. [ don't believe her she totally did just look at the tablet to see what name was attached to the commenter shhh ] Compliment accepted!