voice | it's a simple question

[crocodilesmiles]

( When she speaks, Collette aims to sound warm. She's tired, keyed up, and confused as well as trying to understand what's gone on since the mutiny began, and what's continuing in the aftermath. She brings a question she'd talked to Ros about, in her own way; something she wants to know very simply because she doesn't, and it's all the more important now.

Out of respect for that same woman, she keep's Ros's name out of this. )

When it comes down to do or die, who do you trust here to make decisions to pull people through, and not leave people stranded high and dry, or freeze up and fall into inaction? People who keep their temper in heated circumstances. Ones who maybe aren't going to forget the bigger picture, even if that doesn't make it easy on the smaller scale.

I've got a few names myself! Blue, Kate Kane, Nathan Summers, Caesar Silverberg, Lenalee Lee, Xerxes Break, Gilbert Nightray, Jaime Reyes, Ashraf, Kang, Peter Quill, Donny, Armin Arlert, Chrono and Rosette, even Dick Grayson and Ahiru and Vanadi, of all people, would stand by you figuring things out.

Those are some of mine. What're yours?

I'm going to keep talking, though, so you might want to tune out if you don't want to hear me ramble about a few maybe important, maybe not things!

Hey, Blue? All those questions about AIs... I think you were asking for a reason. Is it up for discussion? Because I think it should be past a planning stage.

Jai-- ( She coughs. ) Hi! Blue Beetle? Hahaha, I'm sorry, that's two blues in a row, but um, with all that stuff on Project Chimera, have you like, found anything talking about when they started learning how to grow people up so fast? Someone had to have a breakthrough on that, unless science really works that way! I'm not sure, it's all super advanced for when I'm from.

And um... okay, I'm not sure about this one either. Tony? Tony Stark? What do you know about uh... renewable energy stuff?

Comments

[crocodilesmiles]

No, I don't think you would be the sort to break just like that. I just... hope you guys don't feel isolated, either.

[anklets]

Isolated... [ the vague lilt of someone not quite twigging: ] how?

[crocodilesmiles]

Not feeling like the only people you can trust to watch out or help out with you guys are, well... you guys. I know with Lavi and Kanda being gone, there're fewer of you than before, but... I mean, I'd be there for you guys, just say the word. I know I'm not the only one.

[anklets]

[Feels a stab, one which twinges her mouth just slightly wrong. She grips her voice before it can escape her to the places of her devoted to the missing.

This is not phrased a question, because Lenalee has a need to impress it upon her:] Collette, you understand I don't think you a burden. We're friends. I want you to feel as though you can fight beside us if [ haa, still using "if" ] we need to fight, but I shan't force you to carry my burdens as well as your own.

[A good Lee is reserved in their pain, crumples down in quiet where those depending upon them cannot see. Places the strictest disciplines upon themselves and keep to the very same, though sometimes it is almost too difficult to. She has been slow to entrust her fear and exhaustion to anyone. Matron, Lavi, Kanda... they just happened to bear witness to moments she and those doctrines flatlined.]

Aren't you already supporting so many people?

[crocodilesmiles]

When we need to fight.

( It's a soft correction from Collette. When, not If, because she's been fighting in various ways since the day she arrived. Not ceaselessly, and not on a scale that's reprehensible or difficult to swallow.

And what she feels she hears in Lenalee's words pulls at her heart in a way she's not entirely accustomed to. )

When a friend says they don't think of you as a burden, I hope that friend knows it means the same for me as for her. There's no forcing here. I'm asking.

( Pulling some of the light back into her voice, Collette continues: )

You're my friend too. If I'm not allowed to support you, then who am I allowed?

( There aren't so many people that she sees as allowing her that close, for good reasons, for less easily marked ones. As a support, she knows a general worth for herself. It's far from personal, for the larger part. The tight way she's tucked some parts of herself away guarantees it; the way people disappear without notice cements it. Collette doesn't grasp at the sand flowing through her hands, cupping them together to count the grains and bowing her head before them all, thankful they're there, thankful for the opportunity for adventure, for something to remember she's alive right now to feel.

For friends. For surviving this war. For helping people have a place to shed fears, or concerns. )

[anklets]

[Lenalee will always say If, she thinks. What good would it do to draw her toes from those hope-shallows? One day, they won't need to anymore; they will (do) have the choice to raise arms; no one will make them fight, no one is making them fight. It is her eternal, internal litany- the Church has wormed its way into her every selfish motion, like some quiet scar.]

I don't mean to disallow you from anything, Collette. [ a soft laugh; she knows stubbornness when faced with it ] But it really is quite a weight to take on.

[Something she has used to her advantage before, in iron and fire and ocean crushes. But her heart swells... she wonders if she hasn't accidentally slipped a little deeper into the shallows instead.]

General Cross says I'm improving, though. [ she, the master of jokes which are not wholly jokes ]

[crocodilesmiles]

Is he generally cross?

( She quips without thinking, a moment of amusement and humor among the rest. )

I've got pretty strong shoulders. Besides, it's amazing what you can wheel around when you put your mind to it! That's what friends do. They help carry what they can, and they're there, even in the not so fun times.

( Even when you all might rather be away. )

1/2

[anklets]

It varies with the company he keeps.

[anklets]

[Don't think she didn't notice that choice in words.]

I'll remember that. [ when it applies in the reverse of her normal fierce devotion ] Thank you, Collette.

[crocodilesmiles]

You're welcome, Lenalee. For real.

[anklets]

[ this laugh comes across, and how ] You were right. This did come as a boost.

[crocodilesmiles]

( She ends up laughing in turn. )

Good. Good! I'm glad.

[anklets]

I'll have to return the favour.

[crocodilesmiles]

I'm sure you will, sooner or later! Besides... that's another thing friends do!

( She laughs again, not unkindly. Her view on what friendship entails... it's all these things and more. Because it's what she wants it to be so badly, regardless of actuality. )

[anklets]

Sooner. [ reaffirming, she shan't back down on this ] It's a goal.

[crocodilesmiles]

I like this goal. It sounds like more of a pick me up all around, for everyone involved!

1/3

[anklets]

That's the aim!

[Cheer coming easier now, though it is still tempered.]

[anklets]

["Really, though, Collette-- what brought this on?"]

[anklets]

[She can. Guess (perhaps inaccurately, Lenalee won't deny that rather likely chance), but either way, she has no intent to pry.]

It feels almost blasphemous to think about, but Christmas isn't long off.

[ and she prefers to focus on happier things than linger so heavily on (the mutiny, the UE rover, their borrowed time) the bad that the weight holds her down ]

[crocodilesmiles]

( It's surprising what prying might buy her with Collette; but Lenalee wouldn't be the first surprised by such, nor the last to haven't done so, for any number of reasons. She has to laugh at what Lenalee does say. )

Blasphemous? Lenalee! Yeah, it's definitely gone by fast. I remember this time last year, it was so different then. Oh! Oh, man, I was going to do the mistletoe again! How am I going to find a fungus that looks like it this year?

1/3

[anklets]

Just that-! After everything that's happened.

[anklets]

After everything...

[anklets]

What about the mistletoe?

[crocodilesmiles]

it's a tradition, that's all. Mistletoe is for memories, but it's also an excuse for other things during the holidays. Only not many know that part, so I mostly talk about the memories part!

( She doesn't know what to say about the after everything. So she talks about the rest, moving past that, focusing on the light, happy amusements of the world. )

It's a kind of plant that grows on trees. You tie it up in ribbon and hang it in doorways and stuff like that! You don't have mistletoe?

[anklets]

[Any association between mistletoe and memories is a new one, for the younger Lee sibling, the eternally, fiercely-sheltered. We don't even need to mention other part.]

We have mistletoe. I've never taken much stock in it, though.