exsilium | one ✞ audio

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Are we truly on the moon?

[ She sounds curious, curious enough to ask again but this time to the network now that she's been given proper instruction on how to work it and the device given to her. Lucrezia's already asked both her mother and her brother, but asking network-wide means making friends. ]

Has it always been this bleak? We see it high up in the sky, unable to ever touch it. It shines down light should we happen to lose our way—and this is how it really is? What a lonely place to be.

And space—God’s light must not reach far.

[ It doesn’t make sense. It shouldn’t be possible. Yet here they all are. And she'll put behind her the chaotic welcome she had been greeted with, monsters and carnage, death littering the corridors a week ago. ]

I cannot help but think that space is a far darker world than that of Rome.

[ But how could such a thing even be possible? ]

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How is it that you breathe even now? Our lips have yet to touch, Cesare. I have been unable to breathe life back into you.

[Lucrezia is pretty sure you can't just put life back into someone by mere eye contact alone.

Still, she doesn't wait for him to answer her, leaning her face forward to press a chaste but lingering kiss to his upper lip. Her lower lip parts; she blows a breath of air gently, and then leans back an inch, eyes lifting to catch his.

Did that work?]

[ Only his father can be equally cruel when he taunts him with the promise of temporal wealth and power yet denies his every attempt to grasp them only to shower Juan with everything without question. But even that doesn't compare with this, this, the one thing he knows will fulfill him, make him stop striving for the impossible.

For this is the impossible.

His hand instinctively goes to her neck, thumb at her throat, though he doesn't know whether to pull her closer or push her away. He knows what he wants, and what he should want, nearly biting down on her lips before she pulls back at just the right time. He must seem like a prey meeting his predator's eyes now, stunned out of his wits, and all he can think about is he must say something. Say something. ]

Now I cannot breathe.

[ He might've been able to feel the way her pulse had jumped beneath his hand, the faint scrape of his teeth against her bottom lip catching her off guard. The look of surprise in her expression is fleeting as she meets his gaze.

Lucrezia wasn't sure what to think of the silence that had followed, or of the look her dear brother had worn. All she hears is that she had failed. Lucrezia Borgia never fails, if she does then she redoubles her efforts, which is what she does. She leans forward again head angling just slightly as her lips press entirely over his, her hands lifted to take him by the jaw, thumbs pressing lightly into his chin to try and ease it down so that she may once more breathe a puff of air forward.

And now? she wonders, lashes lowering to her cheeks. ]

[ It really is too easy for her to draw him in, take his breath away and make him believe that if there exists any truth in this world, it would be this. There must be some grand cosmic joke in this. God must be laughing his ass off at his clever trick, the cruelest of all. It's only when she ends the kiss with a breath that he can remember to think and remember that this is wrong regardless of how it feels. He can't ask this of her. ]

Lucrezia-- [ Her name is always a prayer on his lips. It takes all his willpower to take a few steps back, wrest himself out of her hands while taking a few deep breaths to clear his mind. ]

You must be tired, sis. I will leave you to your rest.

[ Did she do something wrong? Lucrezia isn't all that sure (or is she?) and so when he pulls back she's left sitting there with her brows drawn together, quiet in her observations as she watches him. Her hands lower to rest at her lap. ]

Yes... [ Spoken slowly and quietly. ] I suppose that would be for the best.

[ All that excitement. Blood loss. Feeling his lips beneath hers, innocently so. ]

Cesare--

[ But Lucrezia cuts herself off, falls silent and doesn't finish whatever she'd been about to say, instead lowering herself down to the bunk to lay on her back. ]

[ Her calling his name has him expectant and wary at the same time. It would be so easy for her to ask of him something he can't (shouldn't) give but he has little willpower to turn down her requests as insane as they might be. He wants it for himself. He thinks it's the one thing he has ever truly wanted. But he can't. For her sake, he can't.

Cesare leans closer to press a chaste kiss on her forehead instead, lingering so he can commit the sweet scent of her skin to memory, then reaches to take her hand so he can place a kiss on each of her knuckles too. ]

Dream of lakes, Lucrezia. For now. Until I can bring them to you.

[ She tries not to tense up too much when his lips brush her forehead. As they lift away and she feels his hand lift hers, his lips once again brushing her skin, only then does she turn her face to him again, eyes open and watching. Ever watchful, always watching him. ]

You will bring them soon, won't you?

[ There's always an unspoken promise in his words. Always with her. ]

[ There was a time, when they were both younger, when Cesare felt little fear in promising her the world and more. Everything was possible then and he knew he would stop at nothing to keep his word to her. But the world isn't so kind these days and there have been too many instances when he had to lie to her.

He thinks she has always known when he lied, which is worse. But sometimes he must. ]

Soon, sis.

[Lucrezia remembers their last conversation well, the one they'd had over little Giovanni's cradle back home. The talk of poison, the talk of fratricide. As she had looked upon Cesare's face, looked into his eyes, she knew he would do whatever it took to see Juan subdued and kept away from both her and her son, even if it meant sliding a knife into his belly and overturning his still warm body into the Tiber.

Cesare would never lie about that. However, this...]

Good night, Cesare.

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