exsilium | The one with bad jokes; voice

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The one with bad jokes; voice

What's up, Exsilium?

[ ... ]

We! We're totally up, get it?

[ A nervous laugh. Ella pls. ]

I swear it sounded better in my head. Anyway! Welcome, newbies! I'm Ella, Ella Ellis and yeah that's my name. For those that don't know yet, I'm the person that gets you whatever you want, no matter what. Unless it's like, really complex. Or alive. Or a hydrospanner. I mean, seriously Han, the damn thing has exploded like ten times in my face already. Sure you don't want a battery powered screwdriver?

[ Not that she can really do one of those without the risk of explosion either. ]

But yeah- you need something, you ask me. I'm still not charging for this, so hey, better make good use of it. And yet I didn't want to talk about this, or at least not only this. I keep getting sidetracked.

So for the ones that were around on August, I hosted a pretty kickass party, right? September wasn't so good for parties because we were too busy, er, you know. Plus we got bombed and not in the fun way. And now we're on the Moon, which is kinda cool, but you know what's cooler?

[ Imaginary drum-roll! ]

VR Rooms! I've been messing with them, and I have decided I can totally host a party inside of one of those. Make a nice, big house, with an even nicer, bigger back yard, maybe put some grills, some games, a pool, make it something more afternoon-evening to let everyone relax for a little bit. And something like a college party in the evening, although all I know about keggers and the like comes from movies so some help would be appreciated.

[ Obligatory pause to breathe. ]

But yeah, it's totally happening, sometime soon in a close VR room to your Moon base. Probably on the last week of the month, but you've been notified! I'm now open for ideas and suggestions. Just like the last time, food and whatever will be handled by yours truly, and the music will most likely be handled by Claudia, I guess. So if there's any real party planner among us, you might want to step up and give a hand.

This totally trivial message ends here.

[Han Solo]

I actually have a working hydrospeanner, but I need you to look at it to make sure it actually does what is supposed to do. This is the first time I've created something I don't have in my world, so.

[Lisbeth Salander]

The tobacco is ready, if you still want it.

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We don't actually need the booze, but we can if you wanna.

[There's the distinct sound of someone putting boots on, since Steph can, you know, keep chatting while she starts on her way to Ella's room.]

Usually I would agree with you, but I've had this conversation before and I really wished I was mildly intoxicated back then...which actually, I sort of was.

[ Ella grunts as she straightens. Sits up? Maybe she was curled on her bed the whole time. ]

You really don't need to drink, though. And I'm putting your request apart since you probably had plans for it.

[It occurs to her that she's not exactly sure what this conversation is,just that she's worried about Ella and offering an ear and a shoulder, if she needs it.

She wonders if she's signed herself up for something she might not be able to deal with, but, well, she's a Bat, she can handle anything.]

We'll see how I feel, but yeah, the tequila should be for the party. It'll help people loosen up.

[And boy do they need that.]

[ A sigh. Just a sigh. ]

I guess.

What was the sigh for?

[Cue Steph poking her head into Ella's room, tablet in her hands for a moment before she cuts the feed and slips it into her pocket.]

[ There's a wooden table on Ella's room that's not in any other room, as well as two comfy looking chairs. On top of the table, two bottles of some fancy tequila brand sit, as well as a tapper full of fresh lemons and a two vials of salt.

Ella is still sitting on her bed, leaning forward. She had been staring at her hands (which look completely normal) before twisting her head up to look at Steph. ]

Do you ever feel incredibly tired out of the blue, just for a minute or so? And then you feel like it was all in your mind, and you shouldn't really bother thinking about it. Take a seat? I can get you water, if you want. Or Coke, now that I think about it.

Edited 2013-10-04 18:13 (UTC)

Sometimes.

[To answer that first question, though she's not entirely sure it's true.

She feels tired all the time.

As for the rest, she's just going to ignore that for a moment.]

Get up and c'mere, I'm giving you a hug.

Alright...

[ She's just going to walk up to her, but don't expect Ella to initiate any hugging, Steph. ]

[Wait, okay, she just puts her hands on Ella's shoulders to start.]

Are you being hesitant 'cause you're not used to getting hugs or because it'd make you uncomfortable?

[Important distinction! And she won't force Ella into the hug if it's the latter.]

[ Hands on shoulders, she can deal with it. ]

A little bit of column A, a massive bit from column B...but I think I could really use a hug, so hug away.

[ She even extends her arms, eyebrows raised.

Come at me Bro. Sis. Friend. Ella clearly sucks at this. ]

Okay.

[And with that she winds her arms around Ella's shoulders, pulling her into a gentle hug. It's loose enough that she could easily get out of it, but if she doesn't, Steph's just going to hold on for as long as Ella needs.]

[ And Ella hugs back, veeeeeeeeeeery slowly, hands on Steph's back, so softly it might be difficult for her to notice they are there at first. Having spend most of her life avoiding contact with others for a number of stupid reasons, Ella had expected to feel pretty awkward, but the result is a lot less stressing that she thought. Lowering her head, she half hides it on Steph's shoulder, closing her eyes and allowing herself to relax.

It's a good hug, okay.

When she speaks again, Ella's voice is slightly broken. ]

I- thanks. Didn't know I needed this.

[Steph can be patient, giving time Ella to relax.]

Yeah, we tend to tell ourselves we're coping better than we are.

[And because sh didn't miss that break in Ella's voice, Steph brings a hand up to card her fingers gently through the other girl's hair.]

[ Ella's hug tightens around Steph. She feels pathetic, weak, needy, but also terribly happy. Isn't it sad? She has never held anyone like this, nobody has held her like this either. She can almost believe that Steph cares, but she's fairly convinced this is just all for her sake.

Still, it's nice of her, to let her feel cared for. ]

You're too nice. [ She's whispering, face hidden on the hollow of the other girl's neck. ] You don't have to keep doing it though. I think-

[ She looks up, and only then she realizes how close they actually are. Ella lowers her eyes again. She doesn't want to stand there and look at Steph's face like some weird needy girl. ] -I think this is good enough. You probably have better things to do than acting like you- [ "Like you actually like me" because it couldn't be so simple, right? ]

I'm just nice enough.

[This isn't anything that's a big deal. She can recognize it might be for Ella, if she hasn't had a lot of people looking out for her, before, but Steph's just here to give a friend some support.

That's not too nice, it's just being a decent human being.

At the cut-off sentence, she frowns.]

Acting like what, Ella?

[It's a gentle inquiry; she really doesn't know where that was going.]

[ Hands on Steph's shoulders, Ella tries to look serious. She tries, really. ]

Stephanie, look at me. I'm a mess. Sure I'm good at pretending I'm not and I have a flair for borderline inappropriate jokes, but push come to shove I'm, well. My life hasn't been too good. I actually never made friends, the two I can recall were mostly around because they were even less popular than me, I was a stranger in my family...

People don't care about me. Which is fine, because I know how my story ends, and it's not- it makes sense that I'm alone. Always been, anyway.

[ A beat. ]

But then I came here and met you and Donny and Collette and Alisha and Saul and everyone, everyone has just been great to me, but I wonder.

[ And here's where her voice wavers again. ]

Maybe people don't care about me here either. Maybe you just see how badly I need to feel like someone gives a damn and you take it like the right thing to do. Because you always try to do what's right. Maybe you're my friend because I need you to be my friend, and I can't let you do that.

[ She bites her lower lip, eyes wandering away from Steph's face. ]

I don't get to have nice things. It's just part of who I am.

Edited 2013-10-19 14:28 (UTC)

[She listens, because it's important, even if right from the start she wants to cut Ella off and tell her she's wrong. But she waits, she listens, and when Ella is finished speaking, she looks just a little bit sad.]

Ella, last month was one of the worst months of my life; I let the United Earth take our friends, I killed practically innocent people, I got into fights with the people I love, found out some of the worst things I ever could know about them, and to top it all off I had to watch a whole city get bombed.

And then my girlfriend disappeared.

[She's not trying to make this about herself, she's trying to make a point that Ella can get.]

Do you really think I'd be here, doing this, if I didn't genuinely like you and care about you? Do you think I'd have the energy for that, just for the sake of doing the right thing? Or do you think, just maybe, that I'm willing to drag myself out of a bed I haven't slept in, because you're my friend, and I want to help?

[so. yep.]

[ She just listens to the whole thing, eyes going from her shoes to her hands to whatever spot between Steph's head and the ceiling she can find.

She finally looks at her again, and sighs. It's a short, small, completely unremarkable sigh. ]

Sorry. I'm- sorry, you're right. It's not really the time and the moment to let stuff like that get the best of me.

[ Ella tries a little smile. ]

I still think I don't deserve a friend like you, for the record.

Hey.

[She bops Ella gently on the nose, returning the smile and trying to lift the mood back up after that little... spiel.]

It's not about deserving anything, friendship doesn't work that way.

[ A bop in the nose?

She really doesn't deserve you, Steph. ]

Yeah well, I'm a slow learner for this kind of stuff. And I'm- I'm sorry. About Jules. I think I never got to say that.

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