vii. voice

[firstroar]

–omeone...

[a beat, a breath heavily drawn and shakily exhaled. sentences are punctuated with overlong breaks.]

Help me understand. Not one person I have spoken to recalls this mission...But she is still gone. [breath.] Physis is. Others, perhaps? I don't know. No one has any recollection...

Comments

[salvagedsoul]

There's no point if it will just return you to slumber.

[Kaworu doesn't need to know Physis well to know she wouldn't want Blue to be doing this to himself. And on top of that... he has a suspicion that assistance from other Transports is only going to work on Blue for so long.

At this point, it's probably better if Blue isn't even putting out the effort to stand. Kaworu's feet shift, and he gently tries to coax him backwards, so he can scoop him up in both arms.]

I will carry you back. Please, Blue... You must save your strength...

[firstroar]

[indignation. it's sharp, but brief; Kaworu's not trying to stifle him for any unfair reason. Blue knows that.

but it doesn't keep the pained, taut look off his face, even as he's taken off his feet. and any shame he feels isn't in that, but in the fact that it's even warranted. if Physis is in some kind of danger, he should be doing something.

struggling against a tightening throat:] Kaworu. [beat.] There's no point if I cannot find her. [what's strength if she's absent, he's thinking. it's not something he'd be so affected by had she never shown up here, but now...]

[salvagedsoul]

[Kaworu nearly winces at such a piercing feeling coming from someone he so closely associated with serenity. He had been trying to interrupt the anguish he was in with a quick retrieval, to snap him out of it, you could say - but now, that strong resentment is making him pause.

He fixes his red eyes on Blue's tense face.]

I know... I know.

[it wasn't long ago that Kaworu was feeling this way - and got himself in a horrible predicament from it.]

...We'll look together. I'll carry you like this, and you won't have to exert yourself.

[firstroar]

[Blue can't fix his stare back like Kaworu can, not right now.

muted, with a bitter edge:]

I'll rely on you, then...

[salvagedsoul]

[Yes, rely on him. Rest as much of it on his shoulders as you need to, Blue. Because his body is immortal; there is an endless source of life within his chest. Blue, on the other hand...

Kaworu's feet lift from the ground, and he slowly rises high into the air and above the buildings. From up here, they can search. If Blue didn't have the strength to stand up from that bench, he didn't have the strength to fly like this.]

Just keep your mind open as we move. You could sense her before I see her.

[Thankfully, the weather is not so bad today - it will be easier to look. But even as Kaworu thinks that as he floats over the city, scanning the sidewalks, he is certain they will not find Physis.

What he's feeling more and more certain of is that this is an omen of something bad.]

... Do you resent that I am helping you like this? [the question comes after a solid ten minutes of silent searching. Kaworu glances back at Blue's bitter expression.]

[firstroar]

No. [his eyes are still hardened, distant as he scours.]

It is that you must. But I cannot dwell on my weaknesses. I must find out if she is safe. [the last few words are nearly bitten off, contesting that distant notion coming from Kaworu. it doesn't matter what the odds are, so long as he surpasses them somehow.]

[salvagedsoul]

[Blue is special. Blue can just make others feel better, even against their will. Kaworu isn't capable of that. And as much as he wants Blue to calm himself, these feelings are genuine. They're flowing from the pressure and uncertainty of this situation.

His eyes return to the city - for now, it's probably best not to make eye contact.]

[firstroar]

[he doesn't say a word; he can apologize later. apologize for being the burden Kaworu isn't even offended of him being. apologize for not accepting kindnesses easily. later. after Physis is found.

but this goes on for too long, covering too much ground with no sign of her. there's a sound as his jaw clenches tightly again, fighting against the reality of the situation.]

Not here...

[salvagedsoul]

[This only enforces Kaworu's suspicions of what could be going on.]

Is her ID still registered in the network?

[Kaworu already knows the answer, but perhaps if Blue has not looked yet, the sight of her name still there will comfort him.

With his eyes still averted, he squeezes Blue gently as he lays limp in his arms.]

Physis isn't the only one. There are others... half a dozen have done this, by now...