Entry tags:
vii. voice
–omeone...
[a beat, a breath heavily drawn and shakily exhaled. sentences are punctuated with overlong breaks.]
Help me understand. Not one person I have spoken to recalls this mission...But she is still gone. [breath.] Physis is. Others, perhaps? I don't know. No one has any recollection...
[a beat, a breath heavily drawn and shakily exhaled. sentences are punctuated with overlong breaks.]
Help me understand. Not one person I have spoken to recalls this mission...But she is still gone. [breath.] Physis is. Others, perhaps? I don't know. No one has any recollection...
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Blue. Are you alright? [Blue should be able to sense the sentiment itself, but Kaworu says it out loud so he can project his voice, too.] Can you make it towards me?
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[his will imposes a weak kind of trail – where when noticed, things out of focus darken just enough to make the light of him brighter, a little trail cutting the sharp turn and long walk to where Blue's had to stop.
seated at a bus stop bench, he's sagged forward, head in his hands and fingers curled tight into his hair. the tablet's in his lap, so at least when he needs to say something the sound can fall down toward it.
exhausted, but still burning with distress and irritation. while his jaw is clenched this tight, it's easier to think than speak.]
Forgive me. I meant to get up...
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Wordlessly, he lifts one of Blue's arms and crouches to pulls the frail man's weight onto one shoulder. Even if he were heavy, it would be no task for Kaworu to lift him from the bench as he straightens himself again.]
Blue.
[This is heartbreaking in a way that is very foreign to Kaworu. He has never respected someone as deeply as this man, and to see him like this is bizarre.
The tablet had clattered to the ground. Kaworu glances at it for a moment, and it floats upwards into the air and into his free hand.]
...Blue, pull yourself together.
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he sags as weight shifts back onto his feet, deaf to the tablet and any concerns for it.]
I need... [lifting his head, his expression tightening, strained.] I need more power, to scour this place. Once more. It'll be quicker if it's only a projection, so...
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[Kaworu doesn't need to know Physis well to know she wouldn't want Blue to be doing this to himself. And on top of that... he has a suspicion that assistance from other Transports is only going to work on Blue for so long.
At this point, it's probably better if Blue isn't even putting out the effort to stand. Kaworu's feet shift, and he gently tries to coax him backwards, so he can scoop him up in both arms.]
I will carry you back. Please, Blue... You must save your strength...
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but it doesn't keep the pained, taut look off his face, even as he's taken off his feet. and any shame he feels isn't in that, but in the fact that it's even warranted. if Physis is in some kind of danger, he should be doing something.
struggling against a tightening throat:] Kaworu. [beat.] There's no point if I cannot find her. [what's strength if she's absent, he's thinking. it's not something he'd be so affected by had she never shown up here, but now...]
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He fixes his red eyes on Blue's tense face.]
I know... I know.
[it wasn't long ago that Kaworu was feeling this way - and got himself in a horrible predicament from it.]
...We'll look together. I'll carry you like this, and you won't have to exert yourself.
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muted, with a bitter edge:]
I'll rely on you, then...
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Kaworu's feet lift from the ground, and he slowly rises high into the air and above the buildings. From up here, they can search. If Blue didn't have the strength to stand up from that bench, he didn't have the strength to fly like this.]
Just keep your mind open as we move. You could sense her before I see her.
[Thankfully, the weather is not so bad today - it will be easier to look. But even as Kaworu thinks that as he floats over the city, scanning the sidewalks, he is certain they will not find Physis.
What he's feeling more and more certain of is that this is an omen of something bad.]
... Do you resent that I am helping you like this? [the question comes after a solid ten minutes of silent searching. Kaworu glances back at Blue's bitter expression.]
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It is that you must. But I cannot dwell on my weaknesses. I must find out if she is safe. [the last few words are nearly bitten off, contesting that distant notion coming from Kaworu. it doesn't matter what the odds are, so long as he surpasses them somehow.]
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His eyes return to the city - for now, it's probably best not to make eye contact.]
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but this goes on for too long, covering too much ground with no sign of her. there's a sound as his jaw clenches tightly again, fighting against the reality of the situation.]
Not here...
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Is her ID still registered in the network?
[Kaworu already knows the answer, but perhaps if Blue has not looked yet, the sight of her name still there will comfort him.
With his eyes still averted, he squeezes Blue gently as he lays limp in his arms.]
Physis isn't the only one. There are others... half a dozen have done this, by now...