I don't know. [But it's honest, lost, rather than being evasive.
This still doesn't feel like her story to tell. It's Jesse's and Saul's, and she was happy to leave it that way while she thought they had a handle on the situation, while she thought she had a handle on the situation. Walter wasn't doing anything dangerous, so she kept it to herself, and now he's gone but somehow that's made everything worse.]
I was alone here for so long, I mean - I had Dick, but it felt like I had to take care of him, you know? And I never saw much of Batwoman, so it was just me, wearing the Bat and hating that no one understood, because they're not from our world.
[She knows she shouldn't have let that affect her so much, but it was hard.
Steph sighs, runs her hands through her hair and finds a spot to sit so she can work through her thoughts a bit more easily.]
But it was okay, I was okay and I had friends and people I trusted, but we went on this mission to the United Earth where everything just went to shit. They're not us, they might be good at what they do, but I realized I couldn't rely on anyone the way I rely on Cass or Tim or you.
When we got back I was just-- exhausted and angry and hurt, because I felt like I was alone all over again, and then Saul was there. [It sounds so fucking dumb, and she pinches the bridge of her nose, watching Babs out of the corner of her eye before continuing.] He reminds me of you, 'cause he's so fucking smart and together, and I guess I needed that more than I thought I did.
[An adult, which makes her feel kind of pathetic, but she's started this, so she should finish it.]
Not long after I got back from the mission he shows up asking for my help with a client from back home, and I could tell how scared he was for Jesse, for himself too, maybe. I wasn't sure I really believed it, how dangerous this guy could be, not when I went toe to toe with Crane a few months before showing up, but then I saw what happened when Walter did turn up. He didn't have to do anything, the problem is the effect he has on Jesse, and the effect that has on Saul.
[She realizes how long she's been talking and sighs, scrubbing her hands over her face.]
And then he got sent home, and now everything's gone to shit.
no subject
This still doesn't feel like her story to tell. It's Jesse's and Saul's, and she was happy to leave it that way while she thought they had a handle on the situation, while she thought she had a handle on the situation. Walter wasn't doing anything dangerous, so she kept it to herself, and now he's gone but somehow that's made everything worse.]
I was alone here for so long, I mean - I had Dick, but it felt like I had to take care of him, you know? And I never saw much of Batwoman, so it was just me, wearing the Bat and hating that no one understood, because they're not from our world.
[She knows she shouldn't have let that affect her so much, but it was hard.
Steph sighs, runs her hands through her hair and finds a spot to sit so she can work through her thoughts a bit more easily.]
But it was okay, I was okay and I had friends and people I trusted, but we went on this mission to the United Earth where everything just went to shit. They're not us, they might be good at what they do, but I realized I couldn't rely on anyone the way I rely on Cass or Tim or you.
When we got back I was just-- exhausted and angry and hurt, because I felt like I was alone all over again, and then Saul was there. [It sounds so fucking dumb, and she pinches the bridge of her nose, watching Babs out of the corner of her eye before continuing.] He reminds me of you, 'cause he's so fucking smart and together, and I guess I needed that more than I thought I did.
[An adult, which makes her feel kind of pathetic, but she's started this, so she should finish it.]
Not long after I got back from the mission he shows up asking for my help with a client from back home, and I could tell how scared he was for Jesse, for himself too, maybe. I wasn't sure I really believed it, how dangerous this guy could be, not when I went toe to toe with Crane a few months before showing up, but then I saw what happened when Walter did turn up. He didn't have to do anything, the problem is the effect he has on Jesse, and the effect that has on Saul.
[She realizes how long she's been talking and sighs, scrubbing her hands over her face.]
And then he got sent home, and now everything's gone to shit.
[that's... well.
It's not inaccurate.]