[ video ]

[hostage]

[Someone has recently kicked Jesse's ass, judging by the bruised state of the left half of his face - which is on its way to fading, but still obvious from the video.]

Yo, this is for the new guys, 'cause I think most of you have heard this one before.

My name's Jesse Pinkman. I'm one of the greeters here. You mighta seen me on your first day, out there in the courtyard with some other people, handing out free cookies. This announcement's about that. The cookies are a regular thing we do around here, every single month. The Initiative helps me out with getting all the supplies together, so you don't gotta worry about that, but we could always use more hands for the baking part.

In a week, on the 31st, we'll be meeting up in 409 and making cookies all day. If you like baking, or if you dunno how to bake but wanna learn, or if you don't like baking but you wanna scrape extra cookie dough off the bowls and eat it - whatever. You can come, hang out, smell real good, have fun.

The day after that, we'll need hands outside for the actual giving-out-cookies-and-greeting-people part. That'll be the day newbies show up. If you're gonna be out there looking for your friends, you might as well hang out in our tent.

That's it. I'll see you there.



(( Baking is handwaved so if you wanna say you were there, you were there, but here's an example of what the newbie log thread will be like. No need for permission to participate! Jesse lets everyone help out and teaches anyone who doesn't know how to bake. ))

Comments

[hostage]

Everybody always says that. What do I look like?

[vaccination]

[A DRUG DEALER. Ellie just gives the camera a look for a moment before shrugging.]

I don't know, it's just not exactly common for people to... do nice shit like that, you know? Not without expecting something in return.

I half expected to shit my brains out after accepting food from a stranger.

[hostage]

Yeah, yeah.

There used to be this cop who'd stand there the whole time and mad dog me. I was like, "Chill, it's like the Girl Scouts." But a guess a lotta you guys don't even know what that is, huh.

[vaccination]

Something to do with cookies, I'm guessing? And girls?

[hostage]

Yeah, like a club. Like afterschool. They'd come around every year with these cookies that were totally the bomb. My aunt loved 'em. She'd buy like a hundred boxes. Thin mints, shortbread, samoas...

[vaccination]

Man you guys had it good. Did you have ice cream trucks, too?

[hostage]

Oh my god, yeah. It was the desert. We woulda died without ice cream trucks.

[vaccination]

And people that delivered food to your house?

[Don't mind her, going down her list of Cool Conveniences That Are Only Myths Now.]

[hostage]

Yeah. God, I miss that so much.

[vaccination]

Whoops. Sorry.

[hostage]

It's okay. At least now I probably won't die of a heart attack.

[Except for the meth. That might do it.]

[vaccination]

Was the food that bad?

[But the pictures look so good...]

[hostage]

It tasted great, but cholesterol and trans fats and shit... Way better off with home cooking. Like health-wise.

[vaccination]

Oh yeah, I always saw those mentioned in health magazines and stuff like that. No idea what any of it is, though.

Um, where I'm from, no one gives a shit about that sorta stuff. I've been eating canned crap from twenty years ago, and I'm perfectly healthy. You eat whatever keeps you going, you know?

[hostage]

[His heart breaks for you, Ellie.]

I can't wait 'til we go back to the twentieth century or something so I can take you to McDonald's.

[vaccination]

And set me up for a heart attack?

Cool.

[hostage]

Nahhhhh, one time won't kill you.

[vaccination]

Yeah, but what if I like it?

[hostage]

Self-control. That's what it's all about.

[vaccination]

Okay, you're one to preach about self-control when you're offering to up the amount of chocolate cookies for me. Pretty sure you and I both remember how many I ate when I first got here, and that was when I was waiting to be jumped, too.

[hostage]

Yeah, I'm a total hypocrite. But at least I can say I tried.

[vaccination]

[She'd make a joke about how it doesn't really matter anyway if they just come back from shit here, but thankfully she's got more tact than that.]

I'll accept full responsibility for any puking or heart attacks, don't worry.

[hostage]

There's a load off my mind.

[vaccination]

Least I can do, for all the chocolate things.

[hostage]

Make sure to tell your friend, too, so's he don't come and break my legs.