05: † text

[salvagedsoul]

Hello, everyone.

I have been in United Earth territory since June. I was released last week. Although I have been inspected and declared safe by the Initiative, I feel that it is my obligation to notify you all of what happened.

I am very eager to see some of you again. I am staying in my assigned housing at 502 while I continue to recover. Please come by at your convenience.


((feel free to use this post for both network conversations and action!))

Comments

[imusntrunaway]

I was fine.

[There's a hesitance before he approaches Kaworu so that he's standing in front of him.]

... what about you?

[salvagedsoul]

[Just how serious is that question? Kaworu continues to keep his eyes averted, even now, when Shinji is so close by. On one hand, he's caused him and his other friends so much distress over not knowing where he'd gone. And between Kaworu and Shinji, it's even deeper than that - Kaworu has promised before that he'd be honest, be respectful, to Shinji from now on.

But on the other hand, Kaworu doesn't want to hurt him. He doesn't want to cause his distress because of some stupid trouble he got himself into. Telling him about it could produce an unpredictable reaction.

After what happened between them on his birthday... what would Shinji do if he learned what occurred since then?]

I'm... tired. I'm dazed.

[that's all he says, but then he adds what seems to be an afterthought.]

Nageki and Rei are gone, now. Aren't they?

[imusntrunaway]

... they are. [There's no point in trying to disguise it. Any vague answer or lie would be unveiled quickly anyway, for the Angel, and would cause Kaworu more pain than it should.

I'm sorry, he almost says, but bites that back. He's getting better at not apologizing. Shinji stares at that tired, tired face before looking down.]

You should rest. I'll... have you eaten yet?

[salvagedsoul]

[A sinking feeling drops into his gut when Shinji confirms it. Rei Ayanami... the closest person he had to kin, gone again. He was just starting to draw closer to her, too.

And Nageki... The image of him lying dead in his hospital bed floats back into his mind.]

No. I haven't eaten yet.

[Not that he needs to, or that he wants to. But he doesn't want to be left alone, not right now. He hunches his shoulders and covers his eyes with one hand.]

Shall we eat? Your cooking... it's been a while. I would like it.

[imusntrunaway]

[He raises his eyes. There's no way Shinji can deny him that request when it's spoken in such a weary tone.]

... is there anything in particular you'd like?

[salvagedsoul]

[he shakes his head, his overgrown bangs swishing over the hand hiding his face.]

... I'd love anything you'd cook for me. What is your favorite thing to make? Make that.

[You - provide for me what I want. You, give me that happy feeling that I can't find any other way... Give me my sense of self, my reason to be... Because now, I'm...

A moment of thick silence passes again.]

Shinji-kun. It will be troublesome for you, but... Please, let me stay with you for a while.

[imusntrunaway]

... I don't mind.

[He can't refuse Kaworu, who he respects so much, that small offer. If he can assuage whatever hurt the Angel has right now by simply existing, isn't that a good purpose?

I can be useful.]

You should rest. I'll make something in the kitchen.

[salvagedsoul]

[He raises his head to look at him over his hand and between his bangs. Kaworu's gaze is gentle, the sad but patient expression of a poor old man standing in a long line at a soup kitchen.]

Your kitchen?

[When he said stay with you, that's what he meant. Kaworu doesn't want to be here anymore. While Shintaro's care for him is very diligent, Kaworu has to maintain his usual visage around his roommates.

Shinji knows him better.]

[imusntrunaway]

[He understands with that slight correction. Shinji thinks for a moment. His roommates... he's sure that they wouldn't mind if he brought Kaworu with him. There was room enough for one other person and he'll take responsibility for the boy's care. If he needed to, maybe sharing his room could work as well. It wouldn't be the first time they've done something like that.

So he nods, a small gesture.]

... I need to check with them.

[salvagedsoul]

[Shinji's confirmation rouses Kaworu from his depressed mood. Standing from his bed, he reaches out and takes his hand. His soft palm smooths over Shinji's and squeezes it with mild desperation.

Some energy has returned to him now. His posture is tall and straight again. Although he still looks hesitant, the half-asleep look on his face is gone.]

Let's go.

[imusntrunaway]

[Kaworu's grabbed onto his hand before. But their roles feel reversed now--he the caretaker and Kaworu the cared for. He isn't sure if he's really ready to don the role, but if it's to repay that bit of kindness he was shown...

Shinji doesn't return the squeeze, but he doesn't pull away either as he turns.]

Follow me.