05: † text

[salvagedsoul]

Hello, everyone.

I have been in United Earth territory since June. I was released last week. Although I have been inspected and declared safe by the Initiative, I feel that it is my obligation to notify you all of what happened.

I am very eager to see some of you again. I am staying in my assigned housing at 502 while I continue to recover. Please come by at your convenience.


((feel free to use this post for both network conversations and action!))

Comments

[salvagedsoul]

[Kaworu watches her with calm curiosity. When she pulls her tablet out, he begins to suspect what is confirmed by her message.

Looking up from his own tablet, he smiles again with a newer glimmer in his tired eyes.]

It's not inconvenient. Would you prefer me to write back, or speak?

[so far, he's ignoring the tea.]

[reassures]

[Her wings flutter, and Nill is quick to lift a hand, shaking both it and her head at the same time with a more awkward smile. Her typing is only slightly slower than someone talking might be - she leaves no doubt that she's been doing things this way for a fairly long time.]

There's no need for you to write back. I love it when people talk.

[Her wings settle again. She reaches over for her own cup, and takes a tentative sip, though she shows no outward sign that him not drinking his bothers her.]

[salvagedsoul]

[Although she can't speak, her feelings shine through her mannerisms. They could probably have a conversation of sorts without her using her tablet at all. But, of course, he's contet with whatever method of communication she's used to. He sets his tablet back down.]

The tea smells good. [He's only drank water for the past six weeks. When he takes the tea, he brings it close to take a deep breath of its scent.] What kind is it?

[reassures]

[She's found that most people can't pick up her body language. They can to some extent, but it's useless for more specific things - this has always seemed the better alternative.

A few years back she new someone that could flawlessly read lips. They had some of the most enjoyable conversations of her life at the time. But of course, like most of the other people Nill had known, that man is gone now, and Nill does not expect others to understand her easily anymore.]

Chamomile. I hope it's okay.

[Truthfully, most of the tea here isn't very good. It all has a sort of old, stale quality to it. But she thought chamomile might be a good, calming tea for him. Even sitting with him now, she's not sure what state he's in physically. The fact that he's still in bed, however, is telling enough.]

[salvagedsoul]

It's lovely.

[Kaworu finally takes a long sip, and sets the cup back down. He looks back at her with a heavy eyelids and a muted smile.]

You know, I didn't know you were female. Now that you're here, I would like to learn more about you.

[it would be a welcome distraction from the silence of his room, which only encourages him to obsess over what had happened.]

[reassures]

[Another small smile. She reaches for her own cup, and takes a brief sip, before settling the cup between her hands, on her lap.

She doesn't reach for her tablet again immediately, though the admittance of him not realizing she was a woman makes her giggle very quietly (a strange sight - there's no voice, so though it looks like laughter, it sounds more like a strange huffing). Somehow people could usually guess that she was a girl, though she had no idea why.

As for herself... she was rarely comfortable with talking about herself. But for his sake, maybe she could answer a few questions.]

A very good friend of mine didn't know I was female until we met in person, too.

What would you like to know about?

[salvagedsoul]

[Kaworu glances between her and the delicate wings resting calmly on her back. Is it rude to ask? She'd already said she was human, but those wings are pretty hard to miss.]

... Can you fly? [are they even attached to her?]

[reassures]

[She offers a brief smile - slightly and fainter than the others - and extends her wings to their full length, to give him an idea of her range of motion and how much control she has of them. Then they settle against her back again with a flutter to get her feathers to settle. That's literally the most common question she gets asked.]

No. I might have been able to if they were this size when I was a infant-- they're much too small to lift my weight.

[salvagedsoul]

So, you were born with them, then...

[Although she's already identified herself as human, Kaworu can't help but look away from those wings. Maybe because there are so few people here who are like him. Human-shaped, treated like a human by others, but not human. Especially now, with the discovery that Kaworu's closest friend in this category had left Exsilium while he was gone.]

Is it common for humans to have characteristics like this in your world?

[her gentle but obviously rehearsed response to his last question makes him feel safe in asking this without coming off as rude.]

[reassures]

[She nods to confirm his guess. She'd left the information open ended, and he had made the right assumption by it.

That question, however, is a bit more complicated. Instead of frowning though, she takes a moment to sip from her tea, silently debating how to word a response. She's found... there are very few ways to paint her world in a positive light.

She doesn't take long - she's careful not to, in the hopes that he won't think it was a bad question to ask. There was no reason he shouldn't have, complicated though it might be.]

It's not common, but it's not abnormal. I think at least 1/4 of the people in my world have features like this.

Wings are not common at all-- and compared to others, I look very "normal". I know a boy with a horn like a ram, men with faces that look like lions, and other men with faces and teeth like boars.

[salvagedsoul]

[If Kaworu knew she was painting it in a positive light, he'd reassure her that it wasn't necessary. But instead, he reads her message carefully and looks back at her.]

I see.

[Her wings are still magnetic, even knowing that they aren't particularly special or empowering. The nature of Lilim makes him worry for the situation she may have been living in before coming to Exsilium.]

Are humans like you treated well by the others?

[reassures]

[There's a very good reason to paint it in a positive light. Painting it otherwise gives more away than she's typically comfortable with, make her lies start to come apart at the seams. One question leads to another, and another, until they realize that almost everything she has told them is a lie.

She's pretty sure she's never had the opportunity to lie that much to Kaworu, though, and at the very least she doubted he'd be the type to go telling people. He's smart enough to realize people are treated differently, and he'd be smart enough to realize she was lying if she said they were all treated fairly and equally.]

No.

Humans like me are descendants of genetically modified humans. Other humans thought their experiments would surpass them, so they gave them all limits to make them "less than human". They still do that today if they can get hold of anyone like me.

Not all normal humans are like that, but most of them are.

[salvagedsoul]

[Ah.

His wondering gaze seems to soften at that explanation. She is like him, in a way.]

Fear of the unknown is unavoidable. Humankind has progressed to its current advanced state by ceaselessly threatening what lied in the darkness, torch in hand.

[reassures]

I know. Humans are always afraid of things they don't understand, even if those things are of their own making.

[Humans are terrible sometimes-- no, more than just sometimes. They do terrible things to people that don't deserve it. But...

Worlds with seasons and stars and a sun and moon are so beautiful, and humans are too, in their own way.

She sits there, motionless for a moment, before another small smile spreads across her face.]

I try not to hold it against them.

[salvagedsoul]

That is very virtuous of you.

[He sets his tea cup back. Slowly, he slips back and under the covers until he's laying down, staring up at the ceiling.]

There are few in the world who retain mercy and forgiveness after being wronged.

[reassures]

[Nill watches quietly and carefully, trying to see if his movements give anything of him away. He was gone for a long time, and she has plenty of reason to be worried about what kind of injuries he might have brought back with him.

After a moment she giggles, not exactly because what he said is funny, but... maybe because it's sad.]

I'm not very merciful. I'm not very forgiving anymore either. I just try to do what I can.

[salvagedsoul]

[For the most part, his expression gives away very little. He does look a bit tired, like he needs to sleep - but he's not disoriented, he's not in pain, and he doesn't look particularly unhappy or content. If anything, his behavior would suggest a kind of numb feeling, and yet, his voice is calm and neutral.]

"Not anymore"?

[reassures]

[He's a very odd boy - that much is obvious, although Nill is sure that's less because he isn't human, and more because he's just the way he is. In a way it's almost nice. He's much more mature than a lot of people she's known, Heine included; What Kaworu had in neutrality and calm Heine had in anger and demons.]

I was before I knew what to expect from people.

[Before she realized the severity of her situation. Years ago she would never have thought the people here would eventually turn against them - now she had seen it coming miles away.]

[salvagedsoul]

[Nill is a bit of an unusual case. Normally he'd let the humans he spoke to tell him as much as they wanted or didn't want, with his own mind being more than able to fill in the blanks or deduce what had happened. But perhaps, Nill would just tell him. Although she seems to have seen some bad things, and endured some bad treatment, she is not particularly closed-off about it. Kaworu has to admit to himself that he wants to know, after all the wise words she's said to him.]

And what do you expect?

[reassures]

I expect people like the Natives to reject people like the Transports immediately. I expect to be put in terrible situations, and for the people responsible for it to not care-- for Transports to be just as awful as Natives at times. I expect no one to look after the people I love outside of myself.

[She frowns down at the message, unsure of how to word this properly. It's strange to put a concept - a feeling - she hasn't really discussed into words.]

I expect the world to be a cruel place, regardless of what world it is-- but I also expect some people in those worlds to be very kind.