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[firstroar]

Kaworu Nagisa.
He played the piano several times on this network. In speaking to him, he is the sort one would have difficulty forgetting.


He left this city of his own volition, intending to return "soon."
When was the last time anyone had been contact with him?

Comments

[terrot]

That's it. I arrived here before I could reach my chamber.

[ she doesn't want to say the rest, she's scared of it. scared of having to revisit the darker visions. of seeing naska ripped asunder, the mu helpless to save themselves, and blue... she doesn't want to think about not having him by her side any longer. ]

[firstroar]

[his brow pinches with empathy, smile tugging weakly on one side. he reaches across the table for her hand, wishing to reassure you.]

Then that's it. [and that's fine. it's not her fault. there's still questions drifting in the back of his mind – Keith, her connection to that man – but he greatly dislikes seeing her troubled.]

Forgive me for asking, for making you reflect on that memory. We can leave it as simply that, and it's enough.

[terrot]

I'm sorry. For... [ not being brave enough to tell the whole truth, for dooming them all, for not hating keith as she should. ] ...not making it clear earlier.

[firstroar]

You have no need to apologize. [she's done nothing wrong in his eyes – he is rather blinded to her favor, always has been. yet there's guilt:] In not seeking to understand sooner...it kept the struggles we all face further away. [and that's rather disgraceful.]

But I am glad. I know I can trust in your help.

[terrot]

[ trust is part of the problem, and she wonders if she isn't abusing it by not telling him about the vision. but if his surprise is any indication, won't she be of better use to him otherwise? ]

The problem then is that neither of us realized a difference. Not until faced with a sign of it.

We'd been apart for far too long.

[firstroar]

Though that time...it stretched differently between us. [a single nod, slow. it's careless, having not bridged such a gap sooner, but...no danger had come from it, had there?

he wonders. he wonders if...there's much he ought to share with her from his perspective. he wonders if that's fair – or right.]

i am so sorry this took me a week

[terrot]

I imagine it must have. To you, we had met already after you awoke, but everything beyond then...

[ a thought occurs to her, trying to consider his perspective. ] Did you feel it then, too? While you slept.

pls ive done worse

[firstroar]

Time? [that's what she means, isn't it?]

[terrot]

Partly, yes. But also...the separation carried through that time.

[firstroar]

In some ways. I would be...something like dreaming, perhaps. Where a presence is felt, but it's unclear if it's something truly there at all.

[terrot]

[ she thought that might be the case. ]

So, in many ways it was a true sleep. [ she pauses, uncertain whether it's right to ask the next question. ] What was the rest of it like, when you first arrived here?

What have I missed?

[firstroar]

[he is quiet in turn, pondering. he's made mention of some things before – of memories of another place, but...never with great depth. he doesn't have all of it for himself, after all. not yet.]

A great deal of confusion. I was at once certain I was taken from you and the others...and then slowly given to realize there was more in my memories lost than I ever knew before.

[terrot]

[ it only makes sense that he'd know immediately, he had already been awake for some time by then, though how long physis wasn't really sure. ]

Was it a block, things you had simply forgotten, whether willfully or due to age? What memories awoke?

[firstroar]

I still wonder. [his hands fold on the table.] I wonder if it were some machine...[his mouth twitches.] No, I would rather it was. I wouldn't forgive myself if I were to willfully forget, or...[age.]

I realized I had been given a life in another world before this. Like this, but...different. It was brighter. [the sun. the atmosphere – for the most part.]

It was terrifying.

[terrot]

[ she sets her cards down, her hands sliding across the table to rest atop his. ]

Another world? Do you think there are others scattered about, fighting wars just like this one we're in now?

[ she understands some kind of terror at that. beyond just the way she felt when she thought she was alone there, the scope of the idea was overwhelming. countless terras taking people from countless other worlds, and who can really say to what end the others might put them to? ]

[firstroar]

Like this one?

[his voice has a note of doubt, but he's still considering it. considering how eerily similar the United Earth is to Superior Domination, and how circumstances can be much the same elsewhere, if only because every world has yet to be known.]

There must be the possibility. Even among those who have been brought here, the chance of such things to happen has to exist. Living things with awareness of themselves to any degree...conflict arises meeting others alike in that way. It seems natural. Inevitable, perhaps.

[terrot]

If there are so many universes, then the possibilities they must contain could be endless. Somewhere, outside of everything we face here, another may have similar capabilities, and you experienced it through them.

Do you remember much of this world?

[firstroar]

Much, but...not enough. [it's like trying to discern himself and the environment through a broken mirror – one with many missing pieces, making dark gaps in the distorted image.] It is hardest to understand when I wish most to. I've found a number of names, bound to a number of notions...but if I were to try and piece it all together in some proper order, I would fail.

[terrot]

Do you think that, maybe, having someone to help you do so might be effective? If the pieces were to be examined by another, it's possible that some order might reveal itself.

[ counseling is weird when you're a psychic. ]

[firstroar]

[but they know weird; they live it.]

It may be possible. The closer I've drawn to those whose memories reflect those fragments, the closer those things come to my reach. There may be enough there to pull the rest out of darkness.

[an invigorating, if not frightening notion. and not a new one by any degree...for either of them.]

[terrot]

[ no, not exactly new. but thinking about, much less talking about, her own memories is awkward. but at least it's not painful, that was the whole point to blocking them. ]

There are others involved with those memories? People you met in this other place, perhaps?

[firstroar]

Yes... [but there's one he cannot speak on. he promised. Physis can't be an exception to the rule unless that someone agrees.] Meeting one is what triggered those memories in the first place. Had he not been here, perhaps I would have never known.

[terrot]

[ but that boundary will make it more difficult for her to assist psychically, unless any memories of that person can be willfully blocked. ]

And who is he?

[firstroar]

Koltira. [a beat, reflecting on what things come to mind simply saying the name.] The things he has given me...The guilt tied to it... [a breath.]

[terrot]

[ it's not a name she's familiar with, but there are many others here in exsilium. perhaps this is one she should seek. ]

I'm not sure what you mean. What could he have given you to have this effect?