001 | video

[kilimanjaro]

[Kili doesn't waste time with formalities. He looks strained and tired, dark shadows lining his eyes. No doubt he hasn't been sleeping well.]

I'm looking for Thorin Oakenshield. He's a dwarf like me, dark hair, blue eyes, probably carrying an elvish sword. I've been told he is here, but so far I've been unable to locate him.

[His hands are trembling slightly as he draws one over his face, rubbing lightly.]

If anyone has information on him, please tell me. [A moment of hesitation.] My name is Kili and the best place to find me would be the training rooms.

Comments

video;

[kilimanjaro]

And I'm not a boy. [Plzthx. He'll be nice if you're nice back, Ygritte.]

video;

[freewoman]

[She scoffs.]

So y'think yourself a man? [Because she knows Thorin has never gotten laid. He definitely hasn't.]

video;

[kilimanjaro]

A dwarf, actually.

[HAHA look that was clever :3]

video;

[freewoman]

You've a cock between your legs that says you're a man.

...unless you're tellin' me y'don't.

[She can play clever, too.]

video;

[kilimanjaro]

I-I--

[Kili blushes violently up to his ears. He's never heard his parts referred to as a "cock", dwarves tend to call it things along the lines of "hammer" and "sword", but Kili picks up on what she means very quickly.

Sure, he's made plenty of jokes with friends, but they were all male. Kili's hardly even talked to girls, there's so few of them, and here's one asking about his..."cock".]

Wh-what does that matter?!

video;

[freewoman]

[She laughs again.]

Oh, it matters if you're a maid.

[Kili is much more fun to poke about this than Thorin. He got all grumpy when she was shocked he had never lied with a woman. Not ever.]

You're pretty, you know. It's a shame none o' you dwarves know how t'use it. Or maybe there's just somethin' wrong with your cock.

Is there somethin' wrong with it?

video;

[kilimanjaro]

I am not a lass, and there's nothing wrong with my--my-- [Okay seriously this is not a comfortable subject.] With me!

[Kili's bright red and completely flustered now.]

...Please tell me you didn't ask Thorin about his...er...

video;

[freewoman]

Cock? Y'know you can say the word. It won't bite you.

And how do y'think I know he's a maid, too?

video;

[kilimanjaro]

It-it-- [Kili's tongue tied and completely mortified.

Also why would anyone ask Thorin about that?! Ew.]

I'm not talking about this with you!!

video;

[freewoman]

[Still laughing.]

Aye, you're his kin.

video;

[kilimanjaro]

[Kili just sort of gapes for a few moments, feeling a little hurt and like he's been played.

Ygritte doesn't get a farewell or a final comment. Kili's still too horrified with the conversation he's just had. The feed goes dead on his end.]