The one with the sickies; text

[lar]

guys

guys do you know how is like, to be totally immune to everything? like nothing ever reaches you. no sickness and no disease and no bombs and no nothing, really

well i kind of am like that but i think i overdid it a bit with the missiles. not complaining about that but i don't remember ever feeling as bad as i do right now. the pain, you guys.

so how are things out there? i'm basically stuck in my room for a few more days before i feel more like myself, but i kind of hope all the effort everyone did was not for naught. everyone alright?

oh and

guys?

can someone get me something to eat?

Comments

[bumbles]

G-girls are uh, scarier.

( she'd understand if she knew his sisters.

Carefully, gently, he's moving her until she can be laid back, asking permission before he lays his hands anywhere. Politeness, respect, both important things, until her back is resting against the pillows and he can draw the blankets up, pulling away a few steps. )

C-comfortable?

[lar]

Wise words, someday you'll make a girl happy.

[ Ella feels like telling him that the more care he puts, the more it feels like more than it actually is, but fortunately it's over soon enough.

But he's being ridiculously gentlemanly so she's going to smile at him. ]

Better, thanks. This has never happened to me before. [ Why does she feel like she needs to explain herself, defend her situation, she's not sure. ]

[bumbles]

( And with that, he kills his ability to speak. Instead, Donny nods jerkily, and disappears to get food as his skin burns up. People can be sort of mean, sometimes, and it feels like mockery.

He pauses log enough to nod a little, shrugs, and heads out to the kitchen, returning with soup ad a glass of water, setting it out on the bedside table. )

[lar]

...

[ What did she say.




What did she say???

She waits until he returns. ]

Did I say something stupid? I do that sometimes.

[bumbles]

( He can't say that he's in love with someone who he'll never make happy. That Max tears pieces off herself, that if he were able to be better, to be good enough, maybe he'd be someone who could make her happy.

Never, he should never say that. His gaze drops, and he shakes his head, shoulders rigid. )

D-don't-- don't worry about it.

( Donny already knows his shortcomings. People don't need to point them out. )

[lar]

[ Call it female intuition, but Ella assumes it's a girl thing. As in, he does indeed has a girl and the whole 'make her happy' didn't really do the job it was supposed to do, but the complete opposite.

But saying more might prompt him to leave, and she actually doesn't want that. ]

Oh I will. I'll worry. Just not right now. [ Feelings is the last subject she feels like discussing. ]

There's, uh, something I need to talk about.

[ Best change of subject ever, right? ]

[bumbles]

( His gaze is resting on the soup, because that's easier than looking at her, as he props himself up against the wall. )

It d-doesn't-- doesn't m-matter.

( She shouldn't think about it, worry about it. It's nothing. It's just Donny.

But that gets a pause of him, as he considers her statement. )

O-okay.

[lar]

[ Ella frowns, but weak as she is she's not very intimidating. ]

I'm so smacking you on the head whenever I can, mister.

B-but anyway, I have...one or two secrets. Kind of big ones, actually. [ Like ridiculously big. ]

I thought I could keep quiet and not tell anyone but they have been eating me alive, you know? [ She blurts that all in one go, because saying it slower would give her a chance to change the subject. ]

But I can't keep this to myself. So...can I trust you with a couple of secrets?

[bumbles]

( Is she going to say she's a superhero?

Because he wouldn't be so surprised, after seeing her powers. And also, there seem to be a good number of vigilantes running around this town. So, he's thinking, maybe she's a superhero. Or possibly more the criminal element, but he's not met any of them doing as much good as Max, and it doesn't seem like flaunting power would be so smart if you are trying to keep the fact you are a particular "villain" quiet, either.

He chews his lip, mulling the possibilities over for half a second, before he realises he hasn't responded yet. ) Yeah.

[lar]

[ Oh Donny, Ella is already apologizing in silence as she squirms a bit on her spot.

Eyes closed, she takes a deep breath. ]

Do you have...you know, a God back home? Like, church, cross, Jesus and all that jazz? Just trying to establish some common ground here.

[bumbles]

M-my um, my p-parents are Catholic.

( He doesn't have any strong feelings in any direction, to be honest.
Cautious. He's curious, but very cautious. )

[lar]

I'm not religious, myself. Theist? Maybe.

[ Eyes still closed. ]

But yeah, God. In my world, God decided to stop being around at some point in the past. I don't know all the details, but apparently God thought there was no reason for the position after Heaven and Hell decided to strike a deal. Don't ask, I'm not even entirely sure how that went.

[ The Heir had never been too eager to talk about it, and Seraphiel...the seraph had taken her distance too soon in the whole deal. ]

So God goes and becomes human. But not like Jesus; like, totally human. No memories, no god-like stuff, no nothing. And then it dies, and is born again somewhere else, as someone else. And then it dies again, or gets ran over a horse or shot at a bank robbery or just of old age. Again, and again, and again.

[ She takes a breathe and lets him process what she's saying. ]

[bumbles]

( Oh... kay.

Donny is sliding down until he's sitting, knees drawn up and resting his chin on them, listening as she speaks. Listening, and then having to take the words apart and figure them out and try to extract exactly what she means, or a general idea of what she means, maybe a loose interpretation, and possibly work it all back together again.

He tries to think of it like magic: big magic, important. Not God, because that is too big, and how could any one person handle that? What human could possibly be prepared for that, could bear that? To be a god was too bear too much responsibility, to be the only God--

maybe he's not cut out for this stuff. With a little gulp, he nods. )

S-so uh, you're--?

( God? )

[lar]

Not yet.

[ She opens her eyes, and while she doesn't speak, her expression needs no translation:

"You must think I'm insane."

So she just lowers her eyes. ]

[bumbles]

( If there is really some truth in life, one thing everyone has shared, it has to be feeling insane. At some point, fog fills your lungs, blankets you in something impossible, and all another human being might see is the haze. They wouldn't know how it feels in those moments.

He knows that look. And there's nothing he can say, really, because it sounds crazy, but everything in this place is off, thrown and twisted around. His own life is pretty far from sane.

Donny shrugs, attempts a smile. )

W-we're in um, a m-meeting-- meeting p-point for a l-lot of worlds.

( That's kind of crazy, too. So's your sister tearing apart your brain and filling it with monsters. Life is a little crazy. )

[lar]

[ Then you had Ella, who had been consistently thinking she was crazy for the first 16 years of her life, only to spent the next two convinced she was better off being insane. Between those two choices she felt like there was little hope left.

And yet, she managed to confide with him, in a way. A very indirect way, true, but at least she got the point across, that's something.. ]

Yeah, at least now I know there are other worlds with people being equally messed up.

[ All that said, she's not sure he believes her, and the fact he could be planning to never ever cross paths with her pains her. If the prize to have some peace of mind is to push away every chance of having friends, then Ella would feel like she hasn't really gone anywhere.
...

... but anyway. ]

Talk about a mood killer.

[bumbles]

( His brow furrows, and he glances down. Yeah. People are pretty universally messed up, it seems, and he's not quite sure what to do with this situation. People don't talk to him except for Max. She could make sense of things. Stephanie tore pieces away accidentally, Ella he wasn't sure if she was making fun before, or so bound up in all those things that sound far, far too complicated to fathom that she didn't think. People are complicated, and he is so bad at understanding them, so he holds his silence at as his hands twist around one another. When he tries to help his sister, things had gotten worse.

Eventually, he drags his gaze back up, and wonders if he should mention that the mood wasn't that great before, but elects to not. )

It, um. It sound l-like a l-lot-- a lot of p-pressure.

( So wise. So insightful. )

[lar]

Yeah well, it kind of is. I hope this doesn't make you want to, uh, walk away now. Maybe I should have picked a better time.

[ Like when she can actually stand and do cool things and be all god-like. ]

You're a good guy, Donny. I'm not exactly sure of what's your deal, but now you know mine. It's...basically the only way I have to express trust, so hopefully it won't freak you out...so much.

[ Weak smile? ]

[bumbles]

( It feels awful when someone entrusts you with something big, important, and all you can do is swallow air. He can't tell her about Atlas, because it will undermine everything that Atlas is, if he is tied to Adonis Casey. She's seen him, she knows how lost he is, and Atlas has to be strong. Bad enough that Stephanie knows, especially when she thinks he's an idiot.

There's a long, awkward silence, but he's gotten pretty used to those. ) Th-- thanks.

( For the trust? Shut up, Donny, and he's scratching his forehead. )

I d-don't-- ( He can't. He does have stuff he could share, but... ) Is, uh. There-- anything you w-want to know?

( This won't necessarily go awfully, and he's sort of thrown. )

[lar]

No, I don't want to know your secrets because I shared first; if you ever decide to tell me something I want it to be because you trust me. Just know that whenever you want to talk, I'm a pretty darn good listener.

[ The smile comes natural now. She's at peace, finally. Well sort of at peace, but Ella is alright with that for the time being. It's tempting to ask him if he has powers or if he's a superhero (because honestly those are the first things that come to her mind) but she means it when she says it has to come from him trusting her. Ella can wait. ]

So, the soup...

[bumbles]

( It's not that he wouldn't trust her, especially when she's entrusted him with this, but Atlas is all he has. Max and Atlas, and if Max wanted him to let go, he'd have to.

Still, he appreciates that she isn't going to try and use that as leverage. Lying isn't something he's terribly comfortable with. As for whenever you want to talk, if he wasn't-- him, he might laugh, but instead he's stretching out his sleeves, pulling them over his hands. ) T-talking isn't, um. Isn't m-my strong p-point.

( Can that be a joke? It sounds so awkward. )

It's chicken and v-vegetable. There's p-pumpkin in the fridge, t-too.

[lar]

Well, you don't know when you might feel like talking to someone. Or in your case, stutter and cut yourself short to someone. So you know, you're not on your own. That's what friends are for, right? Besides making soup and being generally annoying.

[ Guess who was Donny and who was Ella in those examples. ]

Hmm, chicken.

lmao I am so sorry HE IS VERY SENSITIVE

[bumbles]

( Donny is halfway to thinking he shouldn't have come at all, but she needed food. And she was nice to him on his first day, but that's when everything was new and they were all thrown. She speaks like Phoebe, playful with sharp edges tucked into her words that catch you off guard, an offer for confidence with a reminder of ways that you're wrong, the things that weren't good enough.

He just nods, because it's what comes naturally. )

P-protein'll-- it'll help.

( Stuttering, cutting himself off. He nods because she's right. )

Is there anything you n-need?

( Because perhaps he should go now. )

Re: lmao I am so sorry HE IS VERY SENSITIVE

[lar]

I'm sure it will.

[ Awkward silence omg. ]

I think- I think you've done more than enough. You probably want to get out of here so I won't hold you any longer.

[ She just threw a ridiculous fact of her at him; if he ever talks to her again, Ella will be surprised. ]

[bumbles]

( Part of him wants to say that no, he doesn't want to go, to be reassuring and say that she hasn't done anything wrong. Even as he's straightening up, scraping himself up off the ground and getting ready to traipse out, his shoulders are stiff and he's trying to think. )

It's n-not-- not b-because of what you said.

( That he wants to leave, needs to. ) I'm not g-good at, uh--

( At this. All this, talking to people and being in other people's spaces. )

Sorry.

( He's just not all that good at things. )