hello hello hello hello VIDEO

[theparasite]

[forward-date to around 3 or 4am 6/13. poster ID for this tablet is MARTIN DARKOV, but this is not the Martin you are looking for. here is a pretty face for you.

actually, no. this was a pretty face, but there is a lot of ugly going on here. scabs and grooved flesh all along the right side...eye nearly swollen shut.

this gal's brow is furrowed, straining, contradicting the lazy smile it wears.

slow, methodical, yet wavering after each letter:]

D. A. R. [swallow. a wider smile and a shakier voice.] K. O. V.

[it blinks a few times; there's a couple tears trailing from behind the monocle.]

Oh. Sh. Shh.

We solved a mystery.

Comments

[theparasite]

[a sigh.


a beat.


AN EVEN LOUDER SIGH.]

[scornful]

[ AND YOU'RE GETTING ROLLED EYES OVER ON THIS END, BUDDY. ]

E X P L A I N.

[theparasite]

[BOYFRIEND TALKING TO WORDS IS BORRRRRINNNNNNNNNNNG UGHHHHHHHHH no it's just gonna let the tablet slide and tilt in its lap as it reaches for an off-screen thing

and pops it in its mouth, crunching loudly. making happy, mumbly eating sounds.]

[scornful]

[ TOO BAD GURLFRIEND HE'S TOO SICK TO TALK UGHHHHH YOU'RE SO GROSS ]

That is disgusting.

[theparasite]

[MUNCH CRUNCH. SMACK. YUMMY SOUNDS IN HI-DEFINITION TABLET SURROUND SOUND. just for you.

a beat, while it tries to pick something out of its teeth with its tongue. smack.

hmm.]

The mystery...Mystery. Which Darkov died? [its mouth twitches.] Mystery solved.

[scornful]

[ GOD CATSOVI WISHES HE WERE ACTUALLY BLIND nope nope he's not looking at this shit he's looking away

Darkov, Darkov... huh. All he knows is that there was someone named Martin Darkov here, and that he meant something... somehow. Cat hasn't had time or energy to investigate further. And he doesn't particularly care, right now, but he tries to force interest. ]

Well?

Which one?

[theparasite]

[cue obnoxious tablet tapping with a finger, warping the screen a little each time.]

This! One!

[scornful]

Hm. I don't understand.

When did he die?

[theparasite]

"When...did...he...die..." [reading them aloud, slowly, bored. LOUD SIGH.

it paws at the screen.]

How. Howwww is it only words with you?

[scornful]

I don't feel like talking.

[theparasite]

[LONGER, LOUDER, MORE ANNOYING SIGH.

and then it pops something new in its mouth and gets to crunching again, nasally sounds in-between bites.]

Mmroh, nooohh...I don't– [smack.] Know how to do that...

[scornful]

What. Type?

[theparasite]

Uh-unh. [smack.] I just get words. And then some silly yelling. Little people in a square. [ha. swallow.]

I wanna do it, too.

[scornful]

[ UGH WHAT!!! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY!!! ]

you're not making any sense. I am feeling far too sick for this; goodbye.

[theparasite]

Goodbye? Noooo, no! That's boring! Speak up!