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[ the name attached to this account, and thus with all applicable comments within this entry, reads Haruka Takahashi, as usual.
for those of you just joining us at home, some info. ]

If you're only interested in useful posts, you can skip the rest of this. I'm only out to waste the time of those who want it wasted, today.
For anyone else, color me curious.

Water, Wind, Light, Flame, Earth, or Darkness.

Pick one, please.

To clarify, "light" doesn't mean good and "darkness" doesn't mean evil, or bad. Or vice versa; there's no moral alignment to any of them.
And I didn't "skip heart", so don't bother bringing that up.

[ tetchy. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm well aware of what happened, in that one case.
But, tell me, how many names, how many Network Accounts are deactivated every month?
How many times do people mysteriously disappear, presumed returned to their original, or previous, times and worlds and universes?
How many people have you lost here?

[ what a strange way to put that... ]

[Original or previous - that sends a chill down Kanaya's vertebral tower, and she has to let her tablet settle in her lap for a moment, turn her head up and stare at light beams flickering off the ceiling. The black, not white, ceiling. She never thought of that as an option. And they keep making unilateral promises of salvation - return (home? Haruka won't say home) - that would damn her... what if...]

A Lot
Weve Really Been Hemorrhaging Trolls Lately

[And some of them are dead - he whom she did not kill is dead - and - and - and he wanted, or pretended, to trust her - and - and she never - and - and - and - and---

And she'll never see her brother again.]

What About You
Have You Allowed Yourself To Consider Any Of The Departures A Loss
Or Are You Even Now Waiting To Wake Up

No. Nobody worth crying over.

[ They wear the faces, but not the hearts, of the ones she's loved. ]

[She can't see her face; she reads the words and not between the lines. She shouldn't have expected anything other than this straightforward refusal.

(How many times did tears actually leave her eyes?)

She wouldn't want to make Haruka grieve, if tomorrow it turned out her time had finally run out leaving Painwheel and Nanami alone; but if she would that would make Kanaya happy. Tch. How irrational.]

Im Not Surprised
From What Ive Gathered You Dont Even Have Any Worldmates Here
The Almost Mandatory Corollary Of That Though Is A Lack Of Anyone Whom You Would Ever Allow Yourself To Consider Worth Crying Over
Which Sounds Strategically Sound But Terribly Lonely

It's not so bad for me. I'm used to being on my own.

You Didnt Live That Way Before Though

[SUDDENLY REMEMBERS ALLIGATOR GUY...?]

?

[ what... is she talking about........ shit ]

[She pounces on that surprised noodle like an exposed throat.]

You Werent Very Clear About It But Didnt You Formerly Live On The Top Floor Of A Tall Building Accompanied By At Least One Other Person
Whom You Described As Having A Fondness For Alliginators And Poor Personal Hygeine

Oh, that was after I was moved to New York. That was only a few years ago, so, even living with those guys, that doesn't make me unused to a greater isolation.

Whats New York
It Doesnt Sound Like A Location In Japan

[EARTH GEOGRAPHY: HER NEMESIS

Distracts her from asking what the other guy was like!!!]

It's not. It's a city on the eastern seaboard of the United States of America. North American continent.

[Casually... brings up a map of 2000s Earth in her other tab...]

Id Been Under The Impression You Were From Japan
Or Is That The Location From Which You Moved Then

That's right. I'm from Tokyo originally.

[ no she isn't ]

[What is Tokyo

Aha! The capital. Okay. She's still a little blurry on what a capital is...]

Im Sorry That I Havent Ever Learned Much About What Would Motivate Shifting Across Borders I Barely Understand In The First Place So Im Not Contextualizing This Very Well

[A transparent way of asking "why did you move"...]

It wasn't by choice. Parents, business, that sort of thing. Even if I never saw them, it made them feel better if I was closer by.

[ she will absolutely remember this story. ]

So You Were Born In Japan
But Your Parents Moved To The United States
And Then After Such A Long Period Of Abandonment That The Part Of Your Life Endured In Isolation Is Long Relative To A Subsequent Few Years
They Sent For You To Come With Them
Though Not So That You Could Spend A Significant Proportion Of Your Time Together Under Their Direct Supervision And Not Just Indirect Protection
But Instead Allowed You To Reside In The Company Of Other Rather Dubious Individuals To Whom Your Omissions Indicate You Are Not Even Genetically Related
Inducing A General State Of Discontent In The Heart Of Haruka Takahashi Strong Enough That Upon Her Arrival Here In Spite Of Completely Detesting This New Situation She Must Acknowledge She Did Abhor Her Previous Life

How Much Of This Have I Misunderstood

[She will absolutely remember the incoherence of this story.]

I didn't abhor it.
They didn't move there until later on; they traveled a lot, which is why they were never around. Then, when they planned to settle in NY, I went with them. We all lived together for about a year, two years, before they left me.
After that, I lived by myself for a very long time; those guys were people I knew who needed a place to stay. My parents never met them; there was no "allowing," because I don't seek permission from a person who doesn't love me.

This Has A Lot Of Discrepancies From What I Was Told About Human Familial Structures
But I Wont Pretend To Understand Those
What I Do Pretend To Understand Is That Abhor Is A Stronger Version Of
Dislike

[Don't make her link you to her own post, Haruka.

She might really do it.]

I know what abhor means.

[SHE CAN'T SEE HER SMILE BUT SHE CAN FEEL THE PASSIVE AGGRESSION FROM HERE ANYWAY

SHE'S GOING TO DO IT SHE WILL DO IT RIGHT NOW]

Girl dislikes her situation, the way her life is going, the way people treat her, wishes she were anywhere else but there.

What Way
Do You Want People To Treat You

[What Way Do You Want Me To Treat You]

Ha ha ha ha.

[ oh dear... perhaps the fever has gotten her. ]

It isn't something you'll be able to understand. Not yet.

In That Case Would You Like To Hand Down A General Guideline So I Can At Least Make An Effort In The Right Direction
Or Is There Some Specific Benchmark You Have In Mind At Which Point Im Going To Come To An Epiphany About Our Relationship

Oh
no
you care about me, don't you
don't do that that isn't a good idea

[ panicked degeneration of typing ]

[STOPS
STARES AT THOSE WORDS FOR A MOMENT
AND COMES TO AN EPIPHANY ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP
First reply draft: Ok I Hadnt Expected That To Happen Anywhere Near This Soon]

I Can Think Of Quite A Few Cases In Which Ive Cared About People Whom I Think It Was A Worse Idea To Care About Than It Would Be To Afford The Same Treatment To You

I'm not eridan
but it's still a bad idea okay

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okay it's going to be locked forever and i am done with subject titles

chews on fingers

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