1st keystroke [video]

[acts_of_claudia]

[The video cuts in on a redheaded girl with one shock of green hair grinning at the camera]

So is it just me or does that [air quotes] "orientation" thing need a little spicing up? Seriously. I didn't know whether I was going to the grand inquisitor's office or if I was back in the... uh... [She cringes, realizing what she almost just said. Grinning suddenly she waves it off] in bed having some weird-ass dream or something.

I do feel kinda gypped, though. [She mocks the woman's voice] "your housing companions will assist you in becoming ready." Yeah well I don't have any "housing companions" so I guess I'm on my own. [beat] Again.

[Yeah this is so familiar. Left alone in an unfamiliar place. Groovy. Yeah. She's done it before and she can do it again. She shrugs, shooting the camera a lopsided grin]

So I guess what I'm really saying is: Is there any place a girl can get a burger around here? I'm starving.

Comments

Video so there

[acts_of_claudia]

[Have an eyeroll of epic proportions]

Well yeah what's not to like? [There's a pause and she cringes slightly] uuuuuuuuuuuuunless you're one of those vegetarian people and I just, like, insulted your religion or whatever. Remember: If you're thinking of biting my head off I'm made of meat, too.

Voice so double there

[wilder]

[Religion? Ha.]

I don't even know what a vegetarian is.

Video I'm a rebel so sue me.

[acts_of_claudia]

You don't? They're those people who don't eat meat because it's cruel to all the [She affects a cutsey voice] cute and fwuffy animals out there

[She scoffs]

some of 'em can be really militant 'bout it, too. Like I knew this girl once who grabbed my plate of meatloaf and threw it across the room screaming that I was eating murder. Of course she was completely nuts-oid at the time but my point stands.

Voice FOREVER

[wilder]

Seriously?

That...sounds insane. How would you eat murder?

Video. FOREVER.

[acts_of_claudia]

I know, right? That's what I'm sayin'. Bitches. Be. Crazy.

[wilder]

Sounds like...

Well I was wondering why every girl I meet in this place seems to want burgers all the time. [Except his roomie who only wants crabelettes but details]

[acts_of_claudia]

Uuuuuuuuh maybe because burgers are like the ambrosia of the 21st century? [beat] Or, you know, because we're all spoiled by having five burger joints on every corner in every city.

[wilder]

...But it's just a slab of meat with some bread. I don't get it.

[acts_of_claudia]

Clearly you've never had a good burger. It's all about the toppings, man! A burger isn't just meat. It's meat topped by cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions and just a hint of ketchup and mayo.