exsilium | [video ; filtered from Kratos]

[Have a very annoyed looking Lloyd on the screen. If you can make out the background, you might realize this is the same apartment with the very messy room that Mithos showed everyone a few days ago. Lloyd, however, is sitting at a table, which is only easily guessable from the current angle.]

Do any of you know anything about this "etiquette" stuff? There is no way this can be right!

[He holds up a fistful of forks, each of them a slightly different size and make.]

Why would anyone need to eat with this many forks for one meal? You just have to poke it in the food and eat it! Doesn't this just make it a lot harder than it needs to be?

[He then proceeds to lift a napkin from his lap.]

And why do I need one of these on my legs? What if I drop food on it?

[He glances off to the side for a moment.]

Kratos is just making this up, right? He tried to teach me stuff I wanted to know before and he made it all way too hard then, too. I think he just does it to be a jerk!

[From somewhere out of the picture, another voice is heard.]

You realize I can hear you.

[Lloyd suddenly glances in the same direction again, now looking incredibly nervous.]

Cra-

[And the feed cuts out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh, it's this stupid kid again. Somewhere, Lloyd, there is a former royal facepalming hard at your lack of manners.]

Getting food on the napkin is the whole point. It's so that you don't get food on your clothes instead.

[How hard was THAT to figure out.]

[Yeah, he's too lazy to type, so let's go with this.]

But you're still getting that messy. What's the point?

Formal clothes are a lot more difficult to clean than a napkin.

[Then again, a kid like this has probably never had reason to wear velvet, or silk, or any of the other trappings of the nobility.]

Then why would anybody wear clothes like that if they're so hard to clean?

[Rapidly growing frustrated with you kid.]

Because it's expected of a formal event.

[BRB snickering here.]

You would rather people thought that you had done something to your pants instead of using the napkin properly?

If I'm just gonna get something messy, yeah. People get stains on their clothes all the time no matter who made them.

The point is to keep yourself from having suspicious stains that resemble that you forgot to use a bathroom.

Woah, what?! You'd have to drop something really weird on yourself for it to look like that, though, right?

No. White wine leaves a suspicious yellow stain, as does champagne and other pale yellow liquids. Some milks will leave a whitish stain, and red stains look like you either had someone try to stab you or dries to a brownish color that looks rather disgusting.

But I'm too young to drink alcohol so that won't be a problem! And with the other stuff I just have to be careful not to drop any of it!

Apple juice does the same thing, as does ice cream. As for dropping anything, can you be absolutely sure that it will never happen? That you will not get bumped from behind or that your dishes do not have flaws in them?

Remind me to show you how chopsticks work, dude. It's way easier. And there's only a few things you can do that are seriously rude.

Really? A fork is kinda like having four sticks though, right? It holds on to the food better that way. That's what I thought, too!

What? No. It's easier when you can grab something and hold into it. Forks are really impractical. You stab things and they slide back off, right? Plus, apparently there's a lot of different kinds. That seems really impractical. With chopsticks, there's no problem like that. It makes things simple.

Not if you stab them right. It's only supposed to come off in your mouth. I don't know why there are so many types. I didn't even know there were different types til now! But if it's easier, I definitely want to check it out!

Hmm, I guess it's true for some things. Steak you can eat with a fork. It's just salads and noodles and rice that it makes no sense for. And maybe we shouldn't teach you that many new things in just one day, actually. You might short a circuit.

Your teachers is quite right; etiquette is very complex. It's a mental exercise for the noble and the wealthy.

So why is he teaching it to me? You're making it sound like school!

It essentially is. Perhaps he hopes to train your memory.

But I know how to eat! Why would anybody need to remember all this extra stuff?

By training their minds to remember the placement and uses of various utensils, nobility preparing to become military leaders prepare themselves for study of battle placement and strategy.

[Kratos is just coming out of the kitchen and sighing. Really, Lloyd, you make it sound like he's torturing you.]

I assure I am not making any of this up.

[That's because you totally are! Jerk...]

Yeah right! Then who came up with all of it in the first place? And why?

Kratos is trying to teach you etiquette?

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