03: † audio

[salvagedsoul]

[An audio post begins, and for a few seconds it's just the sound of the rain. Then, a piano begins to play. Those familiar with classical music would recognize it as French Suite No. 4, a well-known work by German composer J.S. Bach.

The music goes on for about fifteen minutes. It's a piece with a sense of introversion to it - even as the music turns complicated and speedy in some areas, it maintains a restrained elegance. Emotional, without being passionate.

When it finally ends, there are another few seconds of rainfall before Kaworu speaks.]

The demands of human relationships are overwhelming when you consider just how much love a heart needs to survive.

But, conversely, a heart can give an infinite amount of love in turn. The world is less scary if you simply remember this.

Comments

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[concealingeyes]

[She'd be really surprised if anyone called her insightful.]

Yeah. it's kind of a long story... but it happens all the time, too. Just recently even, I've met people who just needed someone to make the first offer to them. I already see them growing from it. a lot of people are reaching out without realising it. ah, sometimes it just takes a lot of tugging on their hands to pull them out.

permatext

[salvagedsoul]

There are always unhappy people, worldwide, sharpening their ability to hide it on a daily basis. It's very brave and generous of you to reach out to them.

Why do you do it?

[concealingeyes]

[It's kind of embarrassing since he praised her for it. She isn't doing anything huge...]

ah. it's nothing like that. but no one wants to be alone. I don't, either. I want a future where everyone has someone to support them. that's what I've always wanted for my friends.

I know it's rough though. I know a lot of people lock themselves up inside because they were hurt. I don't want them to be alone most of all. so I guess I just keep a lot of this in mind when I meet people.

[salvagedsoul]

are there people here that you're helping like that?

[concealingeyes]

i think so. but they'd probably be more stubborn if they heard me say that.

[salvagedsoul]

Please don't ever give up, even if you're tempted to throw away your bright hope. Humanity's salvation is in each other, perhaps.

[concealingeyes]

I can't give up because of other people. that's all it is. you can be strong for someone else.

[That all said, she can't but wonder about his focus here.]

is someone being stubborn for you?

[salvagedsoul]

[considers for a moment before answering.] Is it stubbornness, I wonder?

[concealingeyes]

You think it's something else? sorry if this is nosy.

[salvagedsoul]

I think it's many things.

The most I can do is be here for him.

[concealingeyes]

[She kind of feels bad. It sounds like maybe he and his friend aren't getting along right now... Something like that.]

are you worried it's not enough?

[salvagedsoul]

His heart and soul are deeply scarred. Nothing I can do will be enough. Even if I could heal his pain, he's destined as a Lilim to constantly struggle with balancing loneliness and vulnerability.

[concealingeyes]

[Okay she can't ignore it that time.]

So I'm guessing 'Lilim' means humans. so... do you not feel lonely ever?

[salvagedsoul]

[this is a kind person. so...... he'll trust them long enough to humor the question.]

Loneliness... the desire to connect with others. To be supported by others. To talk to others and touch them and be touched. It is not something I had ever wanted.

[concealingeyes]

[She tries to imagine that. But even with her friends, she's often felt lonely. So to not feel that at all, ever?]

sorry it's impossible for me to imagine. why else do people care about each other. you'd be lonely without your friend, wouldn't you?

[salvagedsoul]

Is loneliness the word for it?

He has taught me and shown me many things I did not know or want before I met him. I don't understand some of it, even now.

[concealingeyes]

maybe you just can't process it yet? i guess if you'd never felt it, you wouldn't be able to understand it, would you? sorry if that's assuming a lot.

//retroactively encrypts whole conversation

[salvagedsoul]

[before Kaworu answers, he goes back and adds encryption to his responses. he's not usually this open with strangers, and while this one has earned some trust, there's no need for the rest of the Transports to read this. Kido can take it however.]

There's no need to apologize for assumptions. We've only just met.

What's your name?

[concealingeyes]

[She doesn't really know how to take it. She would say 'embarrassed' but he's apparently not human or feels different emotions or something...]

Kido. I guess this was a weird first conversation.

[salvagedsoul]

Was it? I'm sorry... I began to ramble.

[it was him who wandered into his personal problems, not her.]

I rather enjoyed it otherwise, though. You're a very kind person. My name is Kaworu.

[concealingeyes]

I liked your rambles. they're nothing bad. if you want to talk about something, I don't mind.

[She's a little flustered but happy to be called nice.]

but thanks. it's nice to meet you, Kaworu.