oo1; voice + video

[justthedriver]

Biggest country in world I know but Initiative don't seem to bother to bring anyone else but me. Too many goddamned Americans and Japanese. [ Says the heavy Russian accent. ] And aliens. And fucking elves. [ For all the emphasis he puts on that word, he doesn't sound angry. More of a 'fuck, what the hell, man?'

... Sorry, elves. He's targeting one elf in particular and he doesn't much care if there's more of them.

Sharp snort. Sound of a lighter snapping on, and the crackling of cigarettes. Then the camera switches on.

Have a pair of heavily tattooed hands, one of them curled around a white stick. Then he tips the tablet upwards until it shows his face, and Nikolai pulls off the sunglasses. ]

You lot ever get tired of talking on this thing? Bunch of stupid questions lately. [ He takes a drag of the cigarette, and blows it at the screen. ] You've all forgotten how to fuck, or something?


[ ooc; for any character with knowledge of Russian criminals, Nikolai's hands carry tattoos that basically says he's one of the worst ones out there. Yeah.

Also, content warnings for sexual assault for the thread with Steph (controlledvariable). ]

Comments

[justthedriver]

[ You know some very coherent concussed trolls, Thorin. :3

He laughs at that. ]

You tell me what Durin is, then I will show you fucking.

[ HAHAHAHAHA SORRY. ]

[heirwithouthope]

Is it not considered rude to answer the question first asked of you?

[Nikolai no. You will not bang a prostitute in front of a Tolkien character. That is not okay.]

[justthedriver]

I am rude. [ Easily. ] That easy enough to tell.

[ No sorry Nikolai finds ruining Tolkien characters to be hilarious, okay? ]

[heirwithouthope]

Though you are honest about it.

[His attitude was offensive. But then again, elves were rude and pretended their shit didn't stink at the same time, which could actually be worse.]

Durin the Deathless was one of the first to be created by our Maker, founder of Khazad-dûm and the Longbeards house. My ancestor. [His chest swells, though the physical tells of pride are probably lost over the network.] You should know this name, but you are rude.

[justthedriver]

I don't know any names you are talking about. [ Easily. ] Different worlds mean what is important to you means nothing to me.

[ Pause. ]

Hope fucking is still important. [ Beat. ] Unless your Maker makes all of you, one by one.

1/3

[heirwithouthope]

[The long period of staring after that last statement.]

2/3

[heirwithouthope]

[You can practically see the Mac spinning beach ball materialize as he processes this information.]

[heirwithouthope]

[And then his expression becomes sour.]

You refer to the act of conceiving a child.

[justthedriver]

[ Helpfully: ]

You can do that for fun also.

[heirwithouthope]

[



nope.]

Tell me something: what is it that you do here to make use of yourself?

[justthedriver]

[ Oh Thorin.

Wryly: ] Didn't realised I need to be doing anything useful. Get paid the same for doing nothing and doing something.

[ There's something supremely ironic about this because he's from a country that valorise communism. ]

[heirwithouthope]

[And Thorin is from a species that sometimes never gets married or procreates because they're too invested in their craft.]

I was curious. If you are not otherwise occupied in this city, then surely this is why you have the time to worry about such matters.

[justthedriver]

[Seriously, man, how the hell does your race survive???

Nikolai just blows the smoke on the screen. ]

City very boring. [ Blandly. ] Even more boring because there are no whores to fuck.

[ Why do Tolkien characters talk to this guy again? ]

[heirwithouthope]

[Scooby Doo and the gang are diligently working on solving that mystery, as we speak.]

Is there really nothing else of more value you can fathom doing?

[justthedriver]

[ Oh, there's plenty. There's saving lives, for one. There's worming into the Russian vor. There's fucking a prostitute in front of the son of a boss in Britain so he can fantasise.

There's plenty, but Nikolai can't do any of that here. So he spreads out his hands and gives an expansive shrug. ]

Nothing much else. [ He grins, a little sharp. ] You must not have good sex if you can think of something better to do.

[heirwithouthope]

[He works his jaw.]

Or the task that has been given to me is far more important than any fleeting pleasure I might seek from laying with another.

[...Which more or less answers Nikolai's accusation about the quality of his sex life.]

[justthedriver]

[ Okay he just laughs. Again. ]

Definitely sign of bad sex.

[heirwithouthope]

[You can practically see his hackles rise at that.]

That is not your call to make.

[justthedriver]

You are talking to me. [ Logic, Thorin. ]

[heirwithouthope]

And you know nothing of me.

[He's taking a moment to get offended about someone making any kind of unseemly assumption about him.]

You know nothing of my life, or my quest. Do not assume it means me unfulfilled to preoccupy myself with my people--or anything apart from wenches and tavern maids.

[Besides, he really needs his kingdom back before he even starts to think about producing furry little heirs.]

[justthedriver]

[ ... 'People'. Wenches. Tavern maids. The way he speaks. Nikolai blinks, very slowly. ]

Have questions. [ He cocks his head to the side. ] Are you a King?

[ Pause. ]

You are from same place as Elf? [ Wait... he knows the name... ] Middle Earth?

[heirwithouthope]

[If that wasn't the loaded question of the century.

He was a leader to his people, but he was not a king. But there was no other to take the title with his grandfather dead and his father missing. It was his destiny, but he was not there, yet. Not without his mountain.

Nor will it ever come to be while he continues to languish in this place.

A hundred things he would rather do than share that with this outsider, though.]

Aye, this is where I am from. [He squints.] ...What elf?

[justthedriver]

[ But a lack of an answer, an avoidance of the question - is an answer in itself.

He's not surprised Thorin is from Middle Earth, though. He smiles, very slightly. ]

His name is Legolas. [ Headtilts. ] You know him?

[heirwithouthope]

[By the way his expression darkens like storm clouds gathering, turning a mostly neutral expression into a sharp glare, Nikolai has his answer before he even says anything.]

I know the name. I did not know he was in this place.