exsilium | 1st story. (voice.)

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1st story. (voice.)

( there's a bit of a pause before anyone speaks. when the voice does start, though, it's pretty low. flat, almost, like the speaker is tired, and her voice sounds pretty rough and husky-- and distinctly australian. she sounds decidedly... detached from what's just happened, considering it's her first entry. )

I remember, once when I was a kid. One of the shearers bought a kangaroo to the farm – not alive, though. It was roadkill. I couldn't tell you if... he hit it, or if he just found it. I don't know if that matters.

Anyway, he brings this dead 'roo over in the back of his ute, and hauls the thing off his trailer. I'm surprised he got it on there, to be honest. He and my dad, they took it over to one of the sheds and started butchering it. It was already dead, but they still went through all the steps they use for lamb or cattle if we're gonna be using them for food. Slice the throat, first. They took the whole thing apart, until there was just this... steaming carcass, and then they froze the meat for dog food, buried the guts so that the foxes couldn't get at them.

That's a bit what I feel like right now. Like I'm a carcass that someone picked up and dropped off here. It doesn't matter if I was alive or not when they found me. ( She laughs a bit, but it's a bitter sound. ) I'm here now, aren't I? Either I've gone bush crazy and I'll be dead soon, or I'm already dead. This Initiative bullshit is just-- Jesus.

( A sigh, and a long silence. )

My name's Ellie. Ellie Linton. I don't know if names mean much to the dead, but that's it.

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Being about to take someone's word about him is a real blessing. ( SHE MISSES HER SMELLY STUPID HAIRY LOSER FRIEND. I mean, nothing. Huff. )

Huh. I guess nothing actually likes to be too predictable? It's familiar, at least.

( A little eye roll, but at least there's a vague hint of a smile there, as well. ) I always though time travel was meant to really screw things up. Like in those sci-fi movies? Never a good idea, there's always unexpected outcomes. How do they know they're even getting what they want by doing all this?

( Not that she actually expects Steph to have the answer for that one. )

[She's not really sure what to say about Ellie's friend, so Steph just smiles for the comment and figures it can be left there. (It might be a little selfishly motivated, in that she doesn't want to think about the friends she's left behind).]

I guess it's different when you trying to screw things up. Or the Initiative have no idea what the fuck they're doing and are just hoping anything they can change will make it better than how things are right now.

[That all came out in a bit of a angry huff, and Steph promptly looks a bit sheepish, glancing at the bottle of vodka.]

I'm gonna make myself a sandwich. [Let's not drink on an empty stomach] You want one?

( The angry huff hardly registers on the Ellie scale of things to look sheepish about. She almost prefers it when people can get fired up and angry. Shows they aren't robots, or at least that they care. If you get angry, then it means you got enough fire to live. That said, she really didn't like it when the people on the other side of things had that fire. It made her odds of getting out alive that much worse when everyone is scared for their lives.

On a lighter note: ) I never turn down free food.

( Not any more, at least. Maybe once upon a time. ) You aren't vegetarian or anything, are you? ( Because MEAT. )

Our next toast'll be to the Initiative getting their heads outta their arses.

A girl after my own heart. [Steph can definitely understand that, although in some cases she can be suspicious of free food, and gets antsy if she interprets the offer of it as charity.]

And no, definitely not vegetarian. I think there's some chicken and salad if that sounds good for a sandwich?

[She's standing as she talks, heading into the kitchen proper to start making said sandwiches.]

I think we might need a crowbar if we ever want that to actually happen.

Mm. Hey, but did you ever wonder with that-- the "after my own heart" thing-- did it ever make you think of those old fairy tales and stuff? People stealing hearts or demanding hearts and stuff getting cut out and... I don't know, put on a mantelpiece of something. Like those creepy queens in stories?

( She mulls that over for a second. ) I just mean it could actually be a bad thing, if someone was after your own heart. Not that I am. I'm happy with a sandwich, but there's enough weird stuff going on around here that a few people have gotta gone troppo.

( However, she is apparently pleased with the prospect of such a sandwich, tagging along after Steph and... hovering. In the hopes of being useful but without actually saying anything. Actually, she starts opening drawers to look for a knife or something to be helpful but quickly realises she is just getting in the way. )

Maybe some explosives would work.

[That's... really morbid, Ellie, and she can't help thinking of the Black Lanterns coming to take people's hearts. None of them came for her specifically, but she heard about Tim and the corpses of his parents.

She manages to keep her expression neutral, her tone light.]

I can't say I've ever put that much thought into it, kinda figure it's "after" as in "takes after", not "is after". [And she's just - going to put a chopping board, a knife and a tomato in front of Ellie to give her something to do while Steph assembles the rest of the sandwices]

I'm not sure about anyone having gone troppo, but I think the Initiative lock people up if they make too much of a nuisance, and I think people going after hearts would count as that.

So, yeah, explosives are probably a good idea.

( ISN'T SHE JUST DELIGHTFUL.

Just as well Steph has a good pokerface, or things could've gone a bit pear-shaped. ) Well, yeah, but language is weird. It'd be really bad if you were referring to a serial killer and no one realised because of an assumption about the words.

( Oh, good. Ellie almost gleefully sets into slicing tomatoes. And hey, this is a good knife. She's tempted to pocket it, but since Steph has been more than accommodating, she'll resist the urge to hoard her kitchen goods as weaponry. )

We can hope. ( Hmm. ) Get me some farmyard supplies and I can whip something right up for you.

I'll keep in mind to be clear about my meaning, if I'm ever discussing serial killers.

[Which happens more often than one might think, considering her line of work.

Once the tomatoes are done, she puts the slices on the sandwich, adds a sort of mayonnaise thing (it's a little more peppery than actual mayonnaise, but Steph isn't sure what it's called), then puts each completed sandwich on a plate, handing one to Ellie.]

I'm not sure how easy it'd be to get farmyard supplies, but there are other ways to make explosives.

[She's - serious there. It's something she's been considering, since she can't expect her supply of batarangs to last forever. The Initiative do allow them access to weaponry, but she should learn to be self-sufficient.]

( It could be bright pink mayonnaise with sparkles, for all the rats arses that Ellie gives - it's food and it's fresh, rather than scraps of this and that and freeze dried leftovers that the Kiwis had left with them. Suffice to say, she's taking an inelegantly huge mouthful while Steph talks, which only proves problematic because Ellie so loves the sound of her own voice.

Just give her a moment, if you will. )

What does a clinic volunteer know about making explosives?

[Steph is glad she decided to give Ellie something to eat, if the girl is that hungry. She wonders if she should give her a protein shake or something too, but that can wait for a bit.]

Daddy dearest was a crook. [a shrug, like it isn't a big deal.] I picked up a few things from him and his friends.

Oh.

( Well, that feels a bit awkward. Her shoulders are tensed up as she suddenly takes an immense interest in studying her sandwich before taking another bite. This one isn't quite so giant, doesn't need to be swallowed almost whole to allow her to talk. Baby steps, and all that. )

Was as in "he was a crook and now he isn't" or "he was a crooke when he was alive"?

( She's watching Steph with sharp interest, and sometimes wanting to know the facts gets in the way of things like empathy. You like to think you get numb to stuff in the war, but it's not really the truth of it. )

Sorry.

[In constrast, Steph's posture stays carefully relaxed, watching Ellie subtley as she takes her own bite from the sandwich. She remembers how people would react, when they found out who her dad was, and she tries not to let it bother her too much.

The question - actually startles her a little, because she didn't realize she was still using past tense. It's been a month, since she found out he was actually alive, and she hasn't really - processed it.

It takes until after the apology for her to actually find an answer.]

It's fine, he's... in prison now. For a long time. Forever, hopefully.

[She hates that she can't be sure of that, while she's stuck here.]

Hell of a way to talk about your dad.

( On the one hand, maybe she can get it. A little. She couldn't say, because her mum and dad were good, hardworking people. The idea of either one of them being a crook was laughable, but then maybe a little while ago so had the idea of their little girl being a terrorist.

She's still studying Steph, trying to figure out exactly what her deal is. )

He sounds like a piece of work.

[It was a mistake to bring it up. She forgets, sometimes, that she can't be as flippant about it. But it was a good explanation for why she knew about explosives, without having to mention being a vigilante, and the best lies are based in truth.

She puts her plate down, because she's not sure she can trust her hands not to shake, and she can tell that Ellie is - waiting for something from Steph. Trying to get a read on her? She's not sure what it is, but she's been truthful so far, maybe a little more can help.]

Just before I got here, he had my friend killed, drugged me, and left me to die.

[So.

Yes, he was a piece of work.

But it's like a weight off her chest to actually say it out loud.]

Oh.

( For once, Ellie is stumped. No spitfire comeback, no ire or any words that really mean anything. Just "oh." That's the best she can do.

Maybe that was what she got for sticking her nose where it didn't belong. )

Pretty shit dad. Worst mine ever did was have my hide for leaving the chicken coup open.

( Nighttime. Foxes. Chickens. Pretty poor outcome, you can imagine. )

[A shrug, and she pulls off a tiny piece of bread, dropping it back onto the plate instead of actually eating it. Her appetite has decided to take a vacation for the moment, the guilt at Clancy's death (it was her fault) is making it hard to stomach food.]

Sounds like he's a pretty decent dad. [She looks up at Ellie, giving her a crooked grin] Mine used to lock me in the closet when I pissed him off.

[Jokes?????]

I haven't seen him in a while. He and my mum got taken on the first day of the invasion, they're both being used as labourers now. ( But she had it better than some. Better than Lee, at any rate. ) Last I heard, anyway.

( Well, then. Ellie is going to refill both their shot glasses and slides one over to Steph, downing hers before sense can get in the way of it. )

To... shit. Stuff with parents that isn't bloody awful.

( How specific. )

I'm sorry. [It's sympathetic, though there's a hint of wryness, the awareness that 'sorry' doesn't mean much in circumstances like that.] I hope they're doing alright.

[The refilled shot and toast get a smile that's a little more genuine, even if it's not particularly pleasant.]

To curling up on the couch with my mom to watch Brando movies. [It's stuff with her parents that isn't bloody awful, a nice memory and she drinks her shot with that particular toast. Three shots isn't enough to really affect her, but it eases some of the tension, enough that she picks up her sandwich again and takes a bite.]

( She appreciates it, at any rate. It's weird talking about it to someone who doesn't know anything about the war. Who is from a world with all sorts fo crazy things going on and who's dad apparently is a hardcore criminal type. Very, very weird. But also kind of nice. )

To hearing my dad flip his lid when someone doesn't put the tractor keys back where they're meant to go.

( Oh, Mr. Linton. ) Wait, you got Brando in your world, too?

( AN APPROVING NOD. YES. )

[Tractors. With everything Ellie's said, Steph is starting to get the idea she comes from a rural area, and it's so strange to think about, but a comforting sort of strangeness.

It's not wondering what it's like to live in a world that comes out a fantasy novel, it's the sort of thing she could think about if she ran into someone back home. The city versus the outback, not Earth versus Elf-land.]

If there's a world without Brando, I don't wanna know about it. Pretty sure he's entirely to blame for my taste in men.

[Yes because Tim Drake, biggest nerd on the planet, is definitely reminiscent of Brando.]

I dunno who to blame for mine. Dickheads and idiots.

( She makes a face. Thinking about men and attraction and all those messy things was something she preferred to avoid, these days. She couldn't even figure out what was going on with her and Lee, these days, and ever since that stuff happened in New Zealand, she was pretty certain she'd be happy never dealing with a man ever again. Or an idiot teenage boy. ) None of them coulda been a contendah, anyway.

( It sounds awful because she is too Australian to even make the accent sound remotely reasonable.

This is the closest she has had to girly bonding stuff in a really long time and it's weird )

Those are always good to blame, too.

[She's had her fair share of dickheads and idiots, especially Dean, because deciding to leave your pregnant girlfriend in a city in the middle of a crisis is such lovely behaviour.

She's glad she kicked the shit out of him when she got the chance.

The attempt at Brando's accent gets an actual laugh, even if it's just a quiet chuckle.]

I hope you're not planning to be an actor any time in the future.

[Sorry Ellie but that was terrible]

( Ellie would kick the shit out of him too, on Steph's behalf. Probably not so effectively as a Bat, but it's the thought that counts. )

Christ, no. There's not much stuff I'd think was worse. It seems like exactly the kinda job where you'd be surrounded by idiots with heads shoved up their arses.

( So, really, the kind of place she'd meet her ideal man! )

I'd like to see you try and do an Aussie accent.

[And there's another laugh.]

But just think, after spending some time here you'll be an expert at dealing with idiots with their heads up their asses.

[That's not good logic at all, but Steph is going to pretend it is, because of reasons.

And oh, Ellie, the most dangerous thing to do is issue a Bat a challenge. Steph smirks, more than a little sharp, and when she speaks her accent is an almost perfect copy of Ellie's,] I think I can do pretty alright for myself, mate.

[She's an asshole.]

You're a ball of optimism, aren't you?

( So dry that it would make a wonderful addition to a martini. )

What!

( Her mouth just works silently for a sec, maybe two or four or five, because, ) What the shit? Yanks can never get Aussie accents right!

( WHAT )

i am an encyclopaedia of things that most people could have avoided with common sense. Alas.

take heart! you are serving future generations by allowing them to learn from your mistakes

my next lesson for future generations will be that moving is 100% excuse for ALL THE PIZZA

my future lesson should be "don't fuck up your html" that text was tiny i am sorry

it's okay, after i cried myself to sleep worked through the pain. It helped me grow as a person.

i'm glad i could be of service

nominating you for australian of the year tbh

wouldn't be the first time it's happened

when your competition is mostly spiders it's probably not hard

i lost to a huntsman last year

Is that better or worse than losing to a trapdoor?

worse, at least trapdoors are poisonous :c

I'd rather be beaten by a platypus. Poisonous AND adorable.

they are pretty much the best animal ever, it is true

I really want to hug one but that would just end in sadness

maybe you could carefully pat one :|a

I DREAMED A DREAM

I believe in you

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