exsilium | 05 | Audio + Encrypted Audio

It… seems to me that the lot of us have returned to ourselves, yes? No more five year olds wandering about, thank gods.

[ He clears his throat a little awkwardly. ]

I used to be somewhat… ah, forthright, I suppose, which is the age I've lately been entertaining. My apologies to anyone I've been untoward to.

[ To Equius: ] I'd like to see you, my dear, if you don't mind. As soon as you have the time.

[ To Collette: ] Are you available? I, ah, believe I'd left something with you.

[ To Aileen: ] You've… survived the trip back to your proper age, I hope? [ There's a weak smile in this. ] How are you doing?

[ To "Hadrian": ] I hope you know I meant none of it, yes? That was only — well, I didn't know you at the time, you see. [ A beat. ] I'm sorry.

[ To Stephanie: ] This is somewhat awkward, but— well, I do apologize for the excessive attention. Somewhat out of line, I feel.

[ To Bucky: ] You are, of course, welcome to take your belongings back. …Sorry about that.

[ To Calhoun: ] I believe I owe you an apology, yes? And a dinner too, I think.

[ To Nananea: ] My dear, are you free tonight? I wouldn't at all object to some company.

[ To Sharpe: ] [ Just a pause, then a sigh. ] I'll teach you about condoms now, if you like.

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[ Less of ancient sensibilities than ancient sociolisation. Sharpe actually believes in very little of the things that he knows. (Contradiction in terms but fuck it.) ]

... What? No! [ Short pause. ] Why would they?

Perhaps their man of choice is particularly handsome and charming, perhaps some part in their brain works slightly differently from the way yours does, or perhaps they simply don't care for breasts. Whatever it is, I assure you, it's perfectly natural. How can love be otherwise?

Is it? [ Pause. ] Natural, I mean.

[ firmly: ] Yes. I can think of no better state of mind, truly— no matter the people involved.

[ There's a long quiet pause, and Sharpe sighs. ]

I'd like ta believe in you, but it's hard fer me ta,

And why is that?

It's wrong, that's what it is, ta fall fer a Man. I'm a plain soldier, sir, and I ain't have much belief in God and even less fer the law. Yer words are pretty 'nough, but...

[ He shrugs. ]

I reckon there must be something odd in a man, if he falls fer another one when there's plenty of women 'round him.

I see! Now, "wrong" is a terribly vague term, so I'm afraid I haven't much in defense of that. But as to falling for a man with women about... tell me, do you find it odd when you fall for one women in particular? Why, why not take all of them around you, so long as they're there?

... That don't make sense.

Mm, which doesn't, and why not?

It ain't odd that a man should only be with one woman, that's what marriage's fer. I don't see how you can compare that wi' sleeping wi' a man. Or falling in love wi' him, whatever.

No, no, my dear—take it a step back from marriage, and staking a claim, all that, and do me a favor, if you will. Think of the last woman you loved, and then tell me why you loved her. Why her, why not any other woman about you?

I ain't yer 'dear'. [ Grumpily, but he sighs and okay, fine, he's answering the question. ]

She's- [ pause.... ] She's beautiful. Sweet and sensible. wit'out airs 'bout her and not minding that I'm a plain soldier, not one who knows the names of philosophers or poets, much less what they said. [ Pause.... ]

It's the look in her eyes as she looks at me. That's the only way I can explain it.

[ d'aww, lovers. he can appreciate that. :') BUT ANYWAY... ]

And say there were a man, a dear friend of yours, who felt precisely that way about another man. Nothing that he chose to feel, mind you, no more than you did about her! Would you counsel him to simply ignore it, and stop being wrong? Or would you want him to be as happy as she makes you?

[ that is, assuming that relationship didn't go down in flames, or anything. god he hopes that isn't the case, for the sake of this argument. ]

I'd tell him ta quit it so he won't be hanged, sir. [ Wryly. ]

[ ugh dammit no, wrong answer. dryly: ] Do pretend that weren't an issue, yes? Pretend it were in a more reasonable and civilized place, like this one.

That's just it, sir. [ A little frustrated. ] I ain't seeing how ta allow men ta sleep wi' men is more 'reasonable' or 'civilised'. Next you'd be telling me you don't hang thieves and murderers in yer world.

[ a beat ]

Are you honestly comparing an act of love to acts of greed and violence?

[ Sloooooow blink. ]

It all ends up with you dead, far as I know of it. [ Pause. ] No, it's worse ta be a sodomite. You can't escape into the army fer that.

Only because your world is just backwards enough to care to punish it. [ soundin pretty annoyed here, maybe he isn't really the best of teachers ] What does anyone care what lovers do behind closed doors? Do they similarly police a man and his wife? The positions they choose may prove illegal, perhaps?

[ He barks a laugh about that. ]

Oh, they'd like ta, that's fer sure!

Your world seems a terribly dark place.

"I'd say it's the wars that makes it terrible instead of what we're allowed ta do in bed. [ Wry. ]

All worlds have war, I suppose it's to be expected. It's a particularly awful civilization that punishes love.

I'd be real surprised if yer world don't punish love in one way or another, sir. [ Dryly. ]

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