first engage ► video

[ringwizard]

[ Feed clicks on to a young man with an ostentatious ring on his visible right hand. His expression is placid, but there's a line around his brows and a smudge of dirt on his cheek. ]

Aaah, well this place is certainly something, isn't it? To think I thought I'd seen the weirdest things the world had to offer. My name is Haruto Souma, and I have two questions, if you'd be so kind! First, these undead creatures, formerly human and, well, otherwise--are they safe to kill, or should I continue just, ah, restraining them? Is there a difference between the animal ones and the human ones? I only arrived recently, I'm not sure if this is a regular event, or if there's some kind of procedure you guys have in place for these things.

[ The camera shifts, and there's at least three or four zombified woodland creatures huddled up and bound by a magic circle and several magic chains. Haruto looks unperturbed by the condition of the rotting, living animals. ]

If I do have to keep them locked up, is there someone I can, well, deliver them to? Or a way for someone to come pick them up, preferably, my spell isn't exactly portable.

Ah, and second--is there a place to get good doughnuts around here?

[ Zombie problem or not, there are important questions to be answered here, you understand. He smiles, as if it's not an out-of-place question. ]

Comments

[ringwizard]

I'm not sure that stabbing yarn with needles would alleviate any general stabbing urges, you know.

[applethief]

It's supposed to be one of those therapeutic things, isn't it
At least it'd be less annoying than meddling
Maybe if you were a yarn wizard everything would like you more

[ringwizard]

You know, you seem pretty attached to this knitting thing. Maybe you should pick it up?

And I'm perfectly likable!

[applethief]

Well
I actually have better things to do with my time
Unlike you
Who's still in denial about how much people hate wizards

[ringwizard]

Maybe where you're from they hate wizards. And I feel sorry for you! But here the only people who hate wizards are my enemies.

And what do you do?

[applethief]

So like
Is everyone your enemy then
Because I imagine that makes it hard to go shopping
No wonder you think getting donuts qualifies as an actual activity

Most of my hobbies lie in
Well you could call them antiques I guess
It's more profitable than knitting, anyway

[ringwizard]

No, I'm... pretty popular where I'm from!

[ Too popular, honestly. ]

Wow, what a coincidence. I lived in an antique shop between doing... wizard-y things. Like eating doughnuts.

[applethief]

I find that hard to believe

[ a beat. ]

I didn't realize they were that popular as living arrangements
Especially for wizards

[ringwizard]

What, you can believe in magic but not my popularity? I'm hurt.

I don't think they are, usually. But the owner is the only person who can make magic rings for me, so it works out for everyone.

[applethief]

Magic's normal
Magic rings are normal too
But a popular wizard?
I'm not convinced
Do you have proof

[ringwizard]

I'm not sure what you could need for proof, besides my winning personality, dashing good looks, and style.

[applethief]

Winning personality
Dashing good looks
And style.


Nope not seeing it

[ringwizard]

Well, it's a good thing my popularity isn't based on your opinion alone, isn't it?

[applethief]

I'm having a very hard time envisioning anyone who would think differently

[ringwizard]

Your lack of imagination is kind of sad, you know.

[applethief]

[ nOT AS SAD AS YOUR FACE !! ]

Well
Good thing I'm not trusting a wizard's judgment
Or that might actually be a problem

[ringwizard]

[ KISS MY BUTT MARDUK ]

Hey, hey.

If there's one thing wizards know anything about, it's imagination.

I mean, going by your definition, they have to have plenty if they want to meddle, don't they?

[applethief]

Pretty sure the only requirement for meddling is to have a nose big enough to stick where it doesn't belong
You seem to have that part covered just fine

[ringwizard]

Hey! My nose is just fine.

[applethief]

Yeah it's fine
If you're okay with it being that enormous

[ringwizard]

My nose is perfectly normal-sized, physically and metaphorically. I'm sorry you're jealous of how awesome I am.

[applethief]

Is that what you tell yourself so you can stand to look in a mirror
It's pretty lackluster if so

[ringwizard]

No, I have people who tell me that instead.

[applethief]

I should've figured
Wizards.

[ringwizard]

I'm not sure I like what you're suggesting...