exsilium | video ♛ sᴇᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ᴡᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ

[ The feed switches on suddenly, image nothing more than blur of images and sounds, it is pure luck that it stills to focuses (haphazardly) on a woman ─ wild eyed and pale, gasping, with leaves still in her hair. She levels the tablet with a dissatisfied look, debating whether or not to toss the cursed thing or inspect it further.

The latter would be harder giving her present condition and any curiosity she may have been feeling has been burnt away by exhaustion and anger.

How dare they ─

The camera jerks suddenly and she lets out a pained cry, tablet falling out of her hand to skid across the ground far from her reach. Though, to be honest, the device is the least of her concerns right now. ]

Emrys. [ She grits her teeth, and pushes herself up from the ground. (off camera)

Too proud to ask for help, too stubborn and angry to realize she needs help. My, what will we do with you, young lady?

So enjoy the view of the top of some house and the sky, for that is all you shall be getting. At least until the feed shuts itself off. ]

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[ She calls her Gwen and it is an odd comfort. A little less livid than the first time, laced with something else that Gwen cannot put her finger on. Still, she calls her Gwen and it is comforting.

But there is a deep confusion that never rests. She watches how Morgana is greeted by the others and it only becomes worse. A distant storm that grows and is already at bay. She had left them all as friends, she is certain of it. She had left with Morgana back and the others rejoicing on having her back. They were four; four turned three and it felt so wrong and she had gotten Morgana back but now everything feels as broken as it did when they lost her.

There is far too much information in the angry words that are traded between Arthur, Merlin and Morgana and far too little logic. As if Gwen had started hearing a story only to walk for a room, only for a minute and return to a different tale altogether.

She could weep for this, for how little logic this is making. The anger and the hate behind Morgana's eyes. ]

What would you have me do? I don't understand, my Lady.

[ She tries to imagine herself tossing angry and bitter words at Morgana but doesn't manage it. It is all wrong, all of it. Gwen loves her, loves her as truly as a simple servant can love a mistress turned friend. ]

What happened? Morgana, I promise, whatever happened to make you resent me so I have no memories of it.

[ Throw it away, throw it away.

Her hands do not listen, she would push it away if she could, burn it, throw it, but her hands do not listen. They are too heavy with exhaustion, too heavy with anger (not regret, not guilt) that they do not listen.

Curse them, curse her hands, curse her arms. They are as traitorous as her eyes. ]

I would have you ─ [ Ah, she would have her act as she is supposed to. She would have her look upon her with hurt and betrayal, see her as a lost cause as they all do. Not like this, not with tears in her eyes, with hope and the yearning for the friend she has lost.

This is not right, none of it is right. ]

Everything. [ A poor explanation that she hisses through her teeth. ] You picked the wrong side. [ She had offered, she had she had and it was thrown in her face, just as she expected it to be. But the sting did not hurt any less. ]

There are no sides!

[ or at least, there weren't any sides when she had left. They were all friends as they were before; she can't have misjudged the situation, they were fine and whole and now they're broken. ]

How can you fault me for something I have no memories of?

[ she's reminded, suddenly, of the time Uther blamed her of being a sorceress and poisoning the city's waters, how Morgana defended her to the king in front of the whole court. She remembers Morgana's hands, her wrists red and angry after spending a night in the dungeons after defending her father. It can't all be gone, Gwen cannot and will not believe that. ]

I'm not on any side, I love you all, you must know this. You could not have forgotten.

[ She flinches, eyes wide as if Gwen reached through the device and slapped her in the face.

Gwen had always been there for her, even during the worst of times. She hasn't forgotten, part of her refused to even as she dug a hole so deep in her soul that she could not see the bottom. She had been there when she first suspect having magic, she supported her regardless of what it could mean for them both.

─ No. She is a danger, a threat, this is no more than a trick. She cannot let herself think otherwise. ]

Stop it, I will not listen to this anymore.

You would have me lie?

[ Gwen would do a lot for Morgana, quite a lot since she is a friend, but not this. This is where she puts her foot down if to judge by the scolding look on her features; not one she often directs at Morgana, of all people. ]

I would not lie to you, Morgana, even if you request or command it. You cannot truly expect me to, we both know you loathe being lied to.

[ Haha how sharp the truth sounds coming from her mouth. She does, she loathes is immensely, she always has and she always will ─ yet right now she would prefer the servant to be lying to her. She this all to be nothing more than a lie. ]

I said stop.

If you will not lie ─ [ They are all lies, they have to be. ] ─ then say nothing at all, I do not want to hear it.

[ The feed shakes as she attempts to turn off the camera, though in her desperate attempt she does little more than hit buttons she does not understand.

Only to hit the one she needs in one last frustrated attempt. ]

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