Second Blood

[speakveryclearly]

[Today you have something different: Rather than a face peering into the camera, you have a full body view of a young woman standing to the left of the shot, with her right hand on her hip. Said hand glows bright white, like the rest of her body. If you haven't seen her before, she's probably a pretty surprising sort of freak to see when you turn on the communicator.

The center and right part of the shot are occupied by the wall, to which she's attached an off-white poster, landscape orientation, with the following written on it in large letters of bright green marker.

* As Your Potential Leader A Complete Stranger In All Senses
* Proposal To Further Factionalize Already Fractured Population
* Plans Will Only Be Revealed When Or Rather If Any Group Is Gathered
* Initiative Is Our First Enemy Rather Than The United Earth
* Conflict With Other Armies Also A Welcome Possibility

It's attached to the wall with a piece of clear tape on each corners and one in the middle of each long side as well. Close examination will note that it appears there is a second identically-sized piece of paper hidden under it.]

Hello, Transports. I'm Kanaya Maryam. Apart from those who saw my arbitrary self-introduction, you probably don't recognize me as anything but an alien interloper of an age you judge as inappropriate. Even though you have absolutely no reason to trust me, I'm going to ask you to do exactly that, because Exsilium has a terrible leadership problem.

[She's pointing to the second bullet now.] Lots of Transports have been trying to create an army out of members of Exsilium's already perfectly fine existing army. This hasn't worked up until now, but I am somehow absolutely certain that when I do this it's going to be totally different.

[Third bullet:] My plans are so fantastic that they have to be kept confidential and will only be revealed to members of the army once it forms - whom, by the way, I will accept and reject at my discretion even though my goal is to unite Exsilium.

Oh, and did I mention - [fourth bullet] - that I want to overthrow the Initiative first, even though we're fighting the United Earth. Because that's my intention, to fight the people who brought us together and control whether we even stay or leave, let alone go back in time.

And by the way, all the other armies that have already been forming - they're getting in the way of my plan, so we're also going to fight you if you go against us.

[Both her hands return to her hips as she stares at with her head cocked and her lips stretched thin.] Tell me, Exsilium, do you think that sounds like a good plan for anyone to execute? Especially if she's an alien, an undead, a "teenager" [finger quotes], or the like? Or would you advise me to stick with the perfectly good hundreds-strong army that we already have, and take it up with the administrators of the Initiative if I really insisted upon doing something. Perhaps would you go so far as to say that I sound... stupid? If so, that's good, because I have some appalling news for you, which I've just delivered wrapped in your planet's particularly loathsome form of verbal irony.

[In a sudden, too-quick motion, she reaches up with both hands to rip off the poster and reveal the paper underneath it, filled up entirely with these four words:

This Is Stupid
Stop

She neatly folds the old poster three times and throws it away in a waste receptacle off screen, and then stands up straight to address the camera again.]

It does sound stupid, because it is, and so do you. Stop.

[The video ends.]

Comments

[speakveryclearly]

Starfish Accepted
Do You Know What They Eat

[tyrians]

they eat stupid
good fin you got plenty of it

[speakveryclearly]

If I Were Being Needlessly Confrontational Id Cite That As The Reason This Gold Starfish Has Grown To Such Health As It Has Already
But Im Not
This Is In Fact The Opposite Of A Confrontation
I Just Want This To Be Carried Out With Minimum Intra-Initiative Conflict
Intranitiative Conflict
Its To Be Avoided

[tyrians]

since when

[speakveryclearly]

Since We Started Out In Conflict With The United Earth Is In
Intranitiative Conflict Will Only Dismantle Us From The Inside

[tyrians]

ugh who fuckin cares
youre the one startin conchflict btw
like reely da fuck you think you wouldve solved with your
Look Im A Giant Fuckin Basshole Not Acconchplishin Anyfin At All memo

[Not here]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[but he's watching this

and it is good

NOW KILL each other]

[speakveryclearly]

I Dont Know
Maybe
)(-EY GUYS Ive Got This Glubbing Krilliant Idea
What If We Dont Take Ourshelves Down By Reducing The Size Of Our Already Ridockulously Small Army Further

[tyrians]

yeah shore helpin yourshell by goin out of your way to piss homies off
pass
agg

[speakveryclearly]

All I Am Doing Is Giving Homies Sound Advice
More Than Theyve Given Themselves

[tyrians]

bereef what you want B-E-EYOTC)(

[biwinning]

[DAMMIT KANAYA HE TOLD YOU .....]

meenah don't bother.
2he'2 uh
2mall fry, riight?
you're ju2t wa2tiing your tiime.

private;

[caligulas_aquarium]

wwhoa wwhoa hey wwhat the fuck are you doin
dont stop them noww its just gettin good
maybe theyll kill each other

private;

[biwinning]

whiich ii2 why ii'm 2teppiing iin.

private;

[caligulas_aquarium]

god youre no fun

private;

[biwinning]

cod*

private;

[caligulas_aquarium]

no
fish puns are still stupid

[tyrians]

nah
here i thought shed be smart and cool like my maryam
shell the one in the dream bubble is
this one be a dumb beach
she keeps glubbin it gon get her krilled
i cant wait
38)

[speakveryclearly]

Im Undead

[tyrians]

and im a spook so what
how many times do you think itll take beshore you stop gettin up gill

[speakveryclearly]

Its Not The Number Of Times
Its How You Do It
Kind Of Like Goading Someone Into Not Replying To You

[GUESS WHAT SHE'S ABOUT TO NOT DO]

[biwinning]

come on.
you're really goiing two wa2te your tiime wiith a
dumb beach liike thii2.
look we can go out and blow up a tree or 2omethiing.
fuck tree2 riight.

[tyrians]

why the fuck do you even care bouy

[caligulas_aquarium]

he thinks you cant do it
an is afraid you might get yourself killed goin up against her is all
hes just lookin out for you meen thats all

[C'MON REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY

KRILL A BITCH PEIXES]

[biwinning]

becau2e you know you're
a hiighblood and all.
and you don't want two 2toop two her level riight.

[THIS IS LITERALLY PAINFUL]