11;

[caligulas_aquarium]

[Admittedly he was a little skeptical of this artificial recuperacoon, but after a few days the idea that he could get some sleep really tempts him. Like, really. It gets worse every day until he finally can't take it anymore and risks it. Unfortunately, Equius is a huge fuckup it goes as badly as he thought it might and does nothing but amplify the horrific nightmares that he usually gets when he tries sleeping, to the point that he starts panicking and thrashing about in his sleep. In the midst of all of this he accidentally ingests some of the sopor within the recuperacoon, though for now the freaking out midsleep thing is his main problem.]

[But later, a little while after that's all sorted out, he shows up on video. His hair isn't done so it's messy as hell and even obscuring his eyes because of the length, he has no cape, no rings, no scarf...literally the ampora version of "just dragged himself out of bed". Despite showing up on video however, he doesn't actually say anything. In fact it's like he doesn't even notice, because he's typing up text. With each keystroke, you can hear a little tap.]

guys
hey
i wanna talk about something ok
so just whatever youre doing stop
this is important
are you paying attention
ok
i wanna talk about WIZARDS
do you know how fucking cool wizards are
like holy shit
i fucking love wizards
i used to collect actual statues of them and everything and just left them lying arAND MAGIC
MAN
magic
fucking magic man
i used to collect wands but like a RIDICULOUS amount of wands
it was stupid i mean i had so many i had to shove them all into my refrigerator
and i remember this one time i opened it and they all fell on me
i was seriously buried in the damn things
but you know what i loved them anyway
cause wizards wands magic all of it it is the SHIT
so ok my point is
i know we HAVE wizards here
i want you guys to all come out from hiding
and talk to me
and i guess not all of you are wizards or even magically inclined so
how about the boring people while were talking about things we love how about you just go ahead and tell me what you love
im kidding by the way youre not boring :)

Comments

[speakveryclearly]

No, that's right, it didn't happen to me, it was-- [Unconsciously her hand ensemicircles her neck, mimicking the sickle wound he gave her.] Gamzee, he and I in the asylum, it was Gamzee. That's why I'm undead now. Not...

It didn't actually happen for me, all of that... though, I've been wondering for - almost an entire half a sweep now, who made him that wand and why, I don't think the alternate who possessed it had even done that either. I wish it didn't matter, any of it, but he's dead at my alternate's hands and that's kind of a big deal I guess.

So I kept not even telling you why he was convinced I wanted to kill him. That's how much I wish it would all just - go away forever. To be in the past. On the veil. In the cold, unsympathetic reaches of the Furthest Ring. Never to be seen again, or in other cases ever seen in the first place.

[tipsygnostalgia]

Maybe we should just ban whatever happened before people turned up here. I mean all it is, is confusing, doesn't matter any more, plus creates drama.

Clean slates and all that.

[Seems p easy to Roxy. Then again nobody she knew from home is here and there wasn't that much drama, so...]

[speakveryclearly]

Tabulae rasae... I've been trying that, I really think it's the way to go. I have a memo for any new trolls as they arrive, attempting to explain our diverse circumstances. And I made a rule about the alpha timeline. That being, "we don't talk about the alpha timeline".

But [dimming] Karkat doesn't seem to have exactly that mindset, which is... disappointing...

[tipsygnostalgia]

[A little off topic, but..]

Oh.. maybe i should write one up in case any of my friends show up, to let them know what the deal is. Should I?

[speakveryclearly]

[Cocks her head a bit as she thinks about that.]

It sounds like a good idea. You could cater to them better than I... though I did mention you in my memorandum just because of the inevitable confusion with your mother-slash-daughter and SBURB and so on.

[tipsygnostalgia]

Oh? What did you say about me?

I'd probs put you guys in too since you're sburb related, also since my other friends all thought they were talking to a troll before, so..

[speakveryclearly]

Mostly that you were Rose's mother's ectobiological clone, and your residence here. I have that for everyone's easy reference.

... [Taking out her netbook and powering it up now.] Maybe it'd be easier if I just sent you what I have now. An actual secreterrorist endeavor.

[tipsygnostalgia]

Yeah! Send it and I'll have a read of it. Then I can write my own later.

[speakveryclearly]

Alright! [Tap, tap tap, ta-ap and here we go: ForArrivals.txt.]

I'd considered making it a spreadsheet at first, but the extensive text didn't suit that format very well.

[tipsygnostalgia]

Don't worry we can fit a spreadsheet in somewhere.

Haha, best to avoid. High five to that, Maryam.

[speakveryclearly]

[SHE RAISES HER HAND FOR A HIGH FIVE AND STARTS TO LEAN OVER but then oh shit Eridan is in the middle neeeeeever mind.]

Peixes. She told me the Scratch had nothing to do with the demon coming after the veil. Augh.

[tipsygnostalgia]

Yeah well she has this total boner for stabbing me, plus she's the alternate batterwitch so fuck that witch.

[speakveryclearly]

[She tilts her head further.]

I've been meaning to ask - why do you call the Condesce the Batterwitch. I'd never heard that epithet for her before on Alternia.

[tipsygnostalgia]

'Cause she was in control of this evil Empire on Earth before her invasion, and it was a company that made cakes.

[speakveryclearly]

Oh...

[That's something she'll have to think about. Honestly considering how little she's seen of decent human government she's almost thought the Condesce invading could do Earth some good.]

That's an interesting etymology.

[tipsygnostalgia]

[Kanaya no you cannot think that]

So yeah. Batter witch. Huge bitch.

[speakveryclearly]

Glub glub, huge witch.

[Hm, she's gonna have to think about this.]

[tipsygnostalgia]

But yeah, that's why I want nothing to do with her. She's fucking proud of the fact that her alter-ego kind of killed of my entire race and I had to grow up in a shit hole basically alone.

I wish she would just leave.

[speakveryclearly]

...

[God what a beach. She may have enforced a pretty great quality of life on Alternia - but remember when death meant something? Was permanent? What was that even like...]

On the bright side, your race does survive here, and in many other worlds. ...wait, I forgot that those still have the frog problem. Never mind.

[tipsygnostalgia]

Yah. Until the frog thing, that's why I say it's not too bad here. I just wish my friends were too, then we could be out of her claws and just stay here and everything's alright.

[speakveryclearly]

I know. People complain about the grubnapping aspect all the time, but I haven't seen better circumstances for half a sweep.

[tipsygnostalgia]

Miles better than being dead or playing that shitty ass game.

[speakveryclearly]

Miles better indeed. [GET IT, RED MILES.

She leans back against the headboard; she's looking at the matriorb card in her sylladex, still as locked up by chastity modus as ever, the auxiliatrix keys safe somewhere else.]

And we could... restore the race here. I take it with your outside knowledge you have some idea of how that works? That it's not just viviparous for us, I'd need to hatch the matriorb. But my lusus was a mother grub, and when she died - the death of our custodians seems to have been a pre-emptive consequence of the game, at least in our session - I took it from her. I could hatch it any day I'd like. I'm just... not even sure I should tell the others yet. I don't know if they'd even be ready to face the idea.

[tipsygnostalgia]

[Woah]

You actually have an egg to hatch?

[...]

Don't you need all the trolls to be boning though to, uh, 'repopulate'?

[speakveryclearly]

Yeah. [Draws her knees up to her chest.] That... would need to happen... but, well, whether we "bone" doesn't have any bearing on our repopulation if the mother grub isn't hatched. It'd take some time for her to grow to maturity suitable for brooding. So... at that point... which could even be sweeps from now... it might be more feasible...