11;

[caligulas_aquarium]

[Admittedly he was a little skeptical of this artificial recuperacoon, but after a few days the idea that he could get some sleep really tempts him. Like, really. It gets worse every day until he finally can't take it anymore and risks it. Unfortunately, Equius is a huge fuckup it goes as badly as he thought it might and does nothing but amplify the horrific nightmares that he usually gets when he tries sleeping, to the point that he starts panicking and thrashing about in his sleep. In the midst of all of this he accidentally ingests some of the sopor within the recuperacoon, though for now the freaking out midsleep thing is his main problem.]

[But later, a little while after that's all sorted out, he shows up on video. His hair isn't done so it's messy as hell and even obscuring his eyes because of the length, he has no cape, no rings, no scarf...literally the ampora version of "just dragged himself out of bed". Despite showing up on video however, he doesn't actually say anything. In fact it's like he doesn't even notice, because he's typing up text. With each keystroke, you can hear a little tap.]

guys
hey
i wanna talk about something ok
so just whatever youre doing stop
this is important
are you paying attention
ok
i wanna talk about WIZARDS
do you know how fucking cool wizards are
like holy shit
i fucking love wizards
i used to collect actual statues of them and everything and just left them lying arAND MAGIC
MAN
magic
fucking magic man
i used to collect wands but like a RIDICULOUS amount of wands
it was stupid i mean i had so many i had to shove them all into my refrigerator
and i remember this one time i opened it and they all fell on me
i was seriously buried in the damn things
but you know what i loved them anyway
cause wizards wands magic all of it it is the SHIT
so ok my point is
i know we HAVE wizards here
i want you guys to all come out from hiding
and talk to me
and i guess not all of you are wizards or even magically inclined so
how about the boring people while were talking about things we love how about you just go ahead and tell me what you love
im kidding by the way youre not boring :)

Comments

[caligulas_aquarium]

im not made out of rock
at least i dont think
no
no im not im sure of that
but is this going to be another one of those situations where you think i skulk around under bridges and eat children
cause i have to tell you that is SO FAR from how we operate
but yes
to monsters
and they take care of us for a short while
then as soon as we can walk we take care of them mostly
i had a skyhorse!
he was a pretty cool guy
and really
that is EXACTLY how we decide who gets to be empress
what a coincidence!

[ima_something]

[She's frowning again. He's a troll? A troll? But he's... too short to be a troll, and his teeth aren't made out of diamonds.] Trolls haven't lived under bridges for decades, and they don't eat children. Not really, they eat rocks. Though in some cases they like to keep souvenirs from the old days. Human bones and all the rest. Mostly their helpful members of society, get jobs, have families, that sort of thing...

... They still keep their own children though. I'm not sure why anyone would willingly give up their own children... [the instinct to protect your own young is strong everything, human or not.] A skyhorse?

I think it's still how the assassin's do it, in the guild, to work out who is the new head? But that makes sense in the a guild for assassin's of course, the best killer is naturally the best leader in terms of skill.

[caligulas_aquarium]

well thats good
everyone here always hears troll and thinks that
but we really arent
though it probably helps that they dont even know we exist probably
i mean they never see us or anything
adults dont stay on alternia once they reach
well
adultHOOD so
and yes a skyhorse!
he is like a seahorse
but much bigger
and instead of swimming he can fly
except he could swim too if he wanted
and if an heiress kills the empress she gains control of the thing that could scream and kill all of us
so at that point its a case of do or die
so we just do

[ima_something]

Well they used to be like that in the older days, killing, maiming. Now I think they just save it for their fight with dwarves... and even then not very much, they have to keep the peace like the rest of us. It's awful manners if you say as much to their face when they do their best to work hard and provide for their families. [it's racist, basically, and you don't want solid rock punching you in the face.]

... Well that is very versatile of it I suppose. [she's trying to sound encouraging really, as she thinks about it.] Oh, like the Patrician. We have something very similar in Ankh-Morpork, they city where I live. He runs the place, and understands it better than you probably want to. Hard to kill. [he was a very good assassin, in short.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[That's quite a lot of information, which, unfortunately, in his current state he is finding very hard to focus on.

So he does the best he can to take SOMETHING from it.]

wwhat is a dwwarf

[ima_something]

[Sorry Eridan. 8( She talks too much when people need information. Because she knows everything. Ever.

But she can work out he's a little confused right now so, teacher mode go.]

... They're one of the types of people that live where I come from. They're all about four feet tall. Wear chain mail, have beards, a fondness for axes, and a proud history of mining.

[caligulas_aquarium]

[At least he's more willing to listen; when he is his usual self he'd shut down most attempts at being told things about other worlds because he is very very narrow minded and closed off to learning about other cultures.

Usually.]

and trolls hate them
wait
we hate them
why
i didnt even know they existed before right now

[ima_something]

[Well this'll be interesting when he's sober, she supposes?]

There was a battle, a very long time ago, and each side blames the other for it. They eventually made a board game out of it, it's a very famous strategy game actually but... ah, well it doesn't really matter to you does it?

[caligulas_aquarium]

oh
yeah
thatll do it alright
but who won
and if one side won why is the other side still around to hate them
because generally when the alternian empire wins theres nothing left afterwards
so i guess that is where the line is drawn between your trolls and us

[ima_something]

No one knows who won. You could say neither side really did anyway [they do, or at least Death did, and she's got Death's memory.. ish.] A lot of things happened, and it all got very confused very quickly.

Well that's efficient I suppose, and back then Trolls and Dwarves would be perfectly happy wiping each other out, and tried too several times. I guess they just moved past that. It's a fairly useless way to go about things.

[caligulas_aquarium]

yes!
i kind of think that right now
which is weird because if you had asked me a few hours ago i would have thought thats stupid and youre stupid moving past things is impossible
but
for some reason i just stopped caring about that
and now i totally agree
and dont care

[ima_something]

... What changed your mind?

[caligulas_aquarium]

i dont know
it just did a little bit after i woke up

[ima_something]

... Alright.

Have you taken anything? [it would fit, trolls on the Disc took narcotics often enough. Granted they were made out of stone, and it was different for them, but all the same.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

uh
not intentionally

[ima_something]

... If you were a troll from home I'd tell you to go sit in a cold room for awhile but I don't think that would help. [she sighed.] Do you need any help?