exsilium | 06 -- text

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06 -- text

[LOCKED TO: VANADI]
2o not iin the mood for thii2 2o not iin the FUCKIING mood for thii2.
hey a22hole.
we have 2hiit two dii2cu22.
namely your 2tatu2 wiith my kii2me2ii2.

[OPEN TO ALL (delayed, after conversation with Vanadi)]

2o ii don't normally do thii2 but hey guy2 2up.
who want2 two fiight a pii22ed off p2ychiic.
don't raii2e your hand2 all at once.
ii need two burn off thii2 energy.
come on iit'll be fun ii'm liike a fiinal bo22 level of diiffiiculty.
braggiing riight2 for two week2 iif you wiin.

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becau2e he'2 a fuckiing 2tupiid iidiiot and fall2 over anyone who even look2 at hiim twiice.
and you looked twiice and went "yeah 2ure why not" meanwhiile now he'2 goiing two be waxiing poetiic about you for the next four hundred human year2 if you don't cut the 2hiit.

Well, I don't mean to intrude! [ haha yeah right vanadi whatever ]
If this is a problem (and really, there's no reason it should be, as there's always room for more in a healthy relationship), then shouldn't it be something taken up between the two of you?

no.
no you don't fuckiing get iit.
there are a miillion thiing2 wrong wiith what you ju2t 2aiid.
ok ii gue22 ii have two explaiin iit 2iince 2OMEONE HERE II2 AN AB2OLUTE DIIP2HIIT and theiir name 2tart2 wiith v.
whiich iin thii2 ca2e 2tand2 for VAPIID-MIINDED MORON.
troll2 have four diifferent kiind2 of relatiion2hiip2.
two of whiich are 2exual.
ii have one.
and he probably thiink2 now you're the other.
diid he a2k you iif you'd be hii2 mate2priit.

Ah, you see, you might have mentioned that much! No, he didn't ask anything of the sort, as I remember.

then he'2 goiing two.
and now ii repeat once agaiin my oriigiinal que2tiion.
what'2 your 2tatu2 wiith hiim.

Why, as it stands now? We're good friends.

...
ok.
ii'm giiviing you one warniing.
riight now.
don't fuckiing talk two hiim or even interact wiith hiim agaiin.

Ah, I see. And why is that? He seems to like me well enough.

becau2e ii don't and a2 ii repeat my2elf agaiin.
you have no iidea what you're dealiing wiith.
we aren't fuckiing HUMAN2 we don't work the 2ame way and he'2 a 2tiickler about even the mo2t tradiitiional concept2.

Well, nor am I human. Please, I'm quite an old hand at dealing with other species. I'm certain something can be worked out!

no, iit can't.
you don't even under2tand the ba2iic concept behiind a mate2priit2hiip, and you don't 2ound liike you iintend two take iit 2eriiou2ly.
thii2 wiill only end badly iif ii let iit contiinue.
2o iif ii 2ee you wiith hiim agaiin ii'm riippiing your 2piine out.
con2iider thii2 generou2 2iince ii could ju2t go out and fiind you and do iit now.

Well, consider me thankful for the forewarning. I would be even more thankful if you might explain a matespritship [ god he hopes he's spelling that right ] to me.

...ugh.
fiine whatever.
iit'2 a relatiion2hiip ba2ed on PIITY.
hence why you wouldn't under2tand iit you un2ympathetiic oaf.
ba2iically the oriigiin behiind iit ii2 that you fall for them becau2e they are 2o piitiiful you can't iimagiine hurtiing them 2o you want two protect them from the rest of the world.
and iif you don't feel genuiine feeliing2 liike that for zahhak.
get the fuck out.

Really? Two individuals pitying one another? That sounds inconvenient, and difficult to arrange to boot.

HE ALREADY PIITIIE2 YOU FUCKIING 2TUPIID A22HOLE.
ii'm done ii'm fuckiing done talkiing two you.
you had a chance and you blew iit and ii'm ab2olutely 2eriiou2 that iif ii 2ee anythiing between you two ii'm cuttiing off each of your fake liimb2 one by one.

[ after a pause: ]

There's no need to worry. I know you're concerned for him, but I have no intention of seeing him the slightest bit hurt, you know. I may not be a troll, and I may be new to the types of relationships you engage in, but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to learn and to adapt.

[ well some of that is true, at least ]

...

[He doesn't know how to respond. He wants to still be angry because he really doesn't like this guy, but if maybe this is someone who wants to learn...

Sollux knows he's an asshole himself, and he always has been, but he has a hard time really attacking people who want to do better.]

fiine.
2o you do want two be hii2 mate2priit.

I'm entirely open to the idea of it, though I have to admit I'm still a bit unfamiliar with the implications of the word.

iit'2 beiing hii2 boyfriiend ii mean how much more clear doe2 iit need two be.
you piity hiim and he piitiie2 you and then you fiill paiil2 whiich you've already fuckiing done 2o ii don't 2ee the confu2iion here.

[ 'fill pails' what in the world is he getting himself into... ]

No, I suppose it is quite clear, put like that. Well, rest assured, I can do that much.

... iit'2 more than ju2t fiilliing paiil2.
look ju2t.
how the fuck do you people do iit ii2n't iit you date 2omeone and you care about them and you don't date anyone el2e, that'2 how iit pretty much ii2 uniiver2ally.
do that.

Well, sometimes. The rules are a bit looser with some species and some couples! The fidelity part varies most greatly, I've found.

yeah and gue22 what.
wiith troll2 iit doe2n't.
there'2 the four quadrant2 and that'2 iit.
2o iif you can't 2tiick two that then don't bother.

No, no, that's quite fine! I'm sure I'll manage. It's good of you to care so much for how he conducts his love life, you know. I'm certain you make a fine boyfriend.

...

(no subject)

implying - 2012-11-06 15:21 (UTC) - Expand

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biwinning - 2012-11-06 15:45 (UTC) - Expand

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