exsilium | video

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[LONG TIME NO POST. but hey, shiny new...typey-posty-devices. he must try. he must...fail to really get how this shit works.

the feed is sideways. a blink, a beat with an expression realizing oh hey it's doing a thing, and then a moment to quickly right the thing. this way. whew. okay.]

Ha, uh...Sorry. [sheepish.] I wasn't very good with the old one...and this one's stranger. [let him demonstrate by trying to fold one corner of it into view...but not really getting that far and just kind of. shaking the feed. oh well.]

Maybe it just takes getting used to... [by golly it only took months to feel comfortable with the old one what could go wrong with this.] I'll try not to do anything too strange or...press anything I don't recognize. [which is a lot.] I just wanted to make sure I could at least...hear from people again.

[a beat.

wait...]

I'm...being heard right now, right?

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[the sheepish smile is slapped straight off his face the second he sees him, let alone hears. he sits with a chill and a mix of concern and a wee bit of anxiety. oh, nerves.]

Alistair...I. [swallow. he tries a smile, but it drops off his face real quick.] I looked for you. Underground.

[He furrows his brows, rubbing the back of his neck.

Yeah, Alistair is just as bad.]

I've been told the tunnels have many paths.

[he nods, head ducking at the last. shoulders go up in a breath. looking up a little, he smiles, pained.]

I'm really glad you're alright. You and Anora.

We have talented healers.

[Judging you a little, okay. Alistair is just ... not sure how to go about this. He was just a child, after all.]

[ducking his head down again in another nod. man, he was so excited to apologize before...as a giant, glowy, bodiless entity. but being a kid means having to take blame is scary and hard.

but he makes himself look back up, tensed up and unhappy, but determined nonetheless.]

I'm...I'm so sorry, Alistair. For what I put you through. Even after what happened, it doesn't feel like I can atone here and now...

[Contrary to Martin's tensing, Alistair actually relaxes a little.

Someone who can apologize shows regret. That's something he was worried about -- that he wouldn't feel sorry. This is genuine, he can tell.]

Well, you'd be better off to at least ... try.

[digging the heel of his palm against his eye.]

I want to...very much. [deep breath, let out shaky as he lets his hand down.] I thought about it a lot. Even before...coming back. And I was...really excited to try, but. [he smiles after a sniffle, bringing his hand up again.] But now that I'm here, I think I've gotten scared.

I'll still try. [nodding quickly, sitting up and away from the screen.] If I can, I want to. I really want to.

[Martin is reminding him rapidly that he is indeed still a child. Ugh. Alistair purses his lips.]

That is -- an admirable goal. Especially so if you're -- afraid.

[Is this the part where he awkwardly invites Martin home? We think yes.]

It would be easier, I'd say, if you were at home.

[he stares, silent and still, missing one tear going unchecked down the bridge of his nose. he catches it with a quick scrub with his sleeve after reanimating.]

Is...that something you want? [and Anora?]

[He can't say for certain how Anora might feel, but -- well, he knows she was as hesitant as he was to label Martin a monster.

How many times had he wanted Eamon to invite him 'home' when he'd gone to stay with the Chantry? It had ached, he'd wanted it so badly...]

Yes.

[Martin covers his face with both hands and ducks down again, muffling sound. he had much grander ideas of how to properly apologize – face-to-face, for one – but he didn't anticipate being given an invitation back...so soon, even.

why such a good person, Alistair.]

[Don't think this is going to make coming home any less awkward, though, because he's pretty sure they're all going to unsureface at each other for a long while...

...but it was very rare that he had the opportunity to do things for others that he'd wished had happened to himself.]

We'll have to get you another key.

Mh-hmnh...[dragging his hands down his face, all ruddy and wet. his mouth twitches. a thought–] Oh, ah...I need to...Ask Bariyan first. I've been staying with him since...

[Oh, he remembers Bariyan.]

Of course.

[nodding, making a mess of his sleeve.] And if...If it turns out. You don't want me there...I won't be mad. I understand. [a more certain nod, shoulders settling. that stream of thought he had before slipping back into human skin was back.] Even though it can't happen again, I understand. I won't ever be mad.

That's good of you, Martin, but you're welcome.

[They might keep the lock on Anora's door for a while, though.]

[number of Martins offended: 0]

...Thank you. [no, really. he's so anxiously happy about this; hands feel all sweaty and clammy, though, which is weird why would that be associated with happy..,]

I'll...I better go ask. I'll find out. Soon.

Of course. Just let me know.

[H e h Alistair is kind of grinning like a fool because he can tell Martin is happy. He likes making people happy, okay.]

[ur basically santa claus atm, sir.

and in a half hour or so, a knock.]

[All that's missing is that hideous velour jumpsuit that he'd totally buy and wear

oh but uh the door. He answers it swiftly enough, offering Martin a vaguely awkward smile.]

[a smile in return – more kind, less awkward...and a shade apologetic already. he bites down on the next breath, still a little frightened.

so he winds up sounding meeker than he should:] Hello, Alistair.

[He opens the door. He's just glad that they got the place cleaned up.]

Come on in, Martin.

[he hesitates, opening his mouth to decline, but...

he scratches at his elbow, starting to feel as sheepish as he is anxious.]

I can't stay for very long, is all...

...well, will you be needing that key?

[He even went out and got you one okay]

I... [want to accept it really bad! but...

he lets out his breath, shoulders sagging. he shakes his head, smiling sadly up at him.]

I'm afraid not. I wanted to thank you, though. For that...for...a lot. It didn't feel right, just on a little square...After all the trouble you went to.

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