exsilium | First Blood (Do;)

[The camera for once shows neither a peering face nor an accidental other body part. Instead it's being held landscape-style, like a cinematic work - or perhaps a better term would be "security camera footage". There are two people, about six feet away from the camera; the shot isn't masterly, but at least steady. The first thing that's apparent is that it's an Initiative soldier and a young looking alien teenager, maybe 14 at most. Said teenager is pretty tall, but from the way his clothes hang too loosely and yet too short in several areas on his frame, he's obviously malnourished. Those transports familiar with trolls will be able to identify him as one from the long curling horns going up and up out of his shaggy rats' nest of too long hair and gray skin, but there's something off.

Namely, that the fully trained and adult soldier is looking downright intimidated by this kid encroaching on his personal space with only a pair of reasonably harmless looking juggling clubs in hand. Maybe it's the sloppily applied clown makeup. Or maybe it's the messy looking band of scar tissue peaking out from the sagging collar of the kid's worn Capricorn T-shirt and the almost-fresh indigo-blooded bite-mark on his throat. Actually, it's probably the way the kid is creepily sing-songing everything he says with sudden and unexpected changes in volume.]

Your words are up and spilling their secrets full out in here. THEY'RE BEING UP LIKE A DROPPED WINGBEAST EGG. Splat. SQUISH. Motherfucker. HUMAN.

They're telling at me that you're not getting your motherfucking listen on to me. GOT A WHISPER ON WHAT YOU'RE NOT KICKING WITH NO UNDERSTANDING.

Tell it all at you nice and slow. BEING AN UNDERSTANDING BROTHER WHAT OF YOUR HUMAN PAN NOT BEING DOWN WITH THE KNOWING. Ask at you this again all nice and gentle-like.

WHERE
did
THIS HEAD MOTHERFUCKING BITCH
what brought us here
WHAT IS LOCKING US ALL DOWN IN HERE
get her scamper off to?

[The camera at this point moves out of the cinematic landscape perspective to a portrait position: The cameraman aiming it on themselves now. Camerawoman? Cameratroll? The person who's been running it is in fact a young woman, likewise 14, likewise recognizable as of Alternia by her candy-corn horns, medium and curved, the one to the viewer's right bearing a sharp hook; but something's off about her as well. Sure, she has a snazzy black-and-white dress on with the Virgo symbol on the breast; but her gloved hands on the communicator, even though they're black, seem a little... jaded. Maybe her butch haircut is a little too out-of-fashion? The bright green makeup covering both her lips and her eyelashes also makes her look a little harsher. And of course, unlike all the other gray-skinned trolls, she glows bright white.]

I'm sorry to interrupt.

[In sharp contrast to the boy's chaotic singsong, though just as notably unusual, the girl speaks very clearly and carefully.]

My friend and I just got here a few days ago, taken out of a rather... stressful situation, and there's quite a bit of confusion. For one thing, a lot of people seem to be rather confused about... trolls, as are the other trolls about us - though, well, I am a rainbow drinker to be more accurate; but of course most of my audience doesn't even know what a rainbow proper is so why should you care. Anyway, if you'd like to address us by name, mine is Kanaya Maryam... [A return of cinematic view to the troll boy.] And my dear friend over there is Gamzee Makara, and possibly under the jurisdiction of whatever the humans here pretend to respect as laws at this point.

[Gamzee obviously heard her, and turns in the direction of the camera with a little bit of a snarl. Or is that a crooked smile? Hard to tell, and he probably doesn't even know.]

What are you up and motherfucking getting your snipe on about, bitchsis? You-- HEY MOTHERFUCKER WHO UP AND SAID YOU COULD GET YOUR RUN ON?!

[And that would be the increasingly unnerved soldier making a break for freedom and Gamzee disappearing out of sight. And that sound that just came from the side there? That was not a good sound. It was a very bad sound. Kanaya's gloved hand rises - reaching out to intervene, maybe? But after an ambivalent pause, the feed just ends.]

((OOC: Gamzee and Kanaya are both pleased to meet you, we... can't really promise, but! If you have a preference for one, the other, or both separately, please specify, but by default they will be threadjacking the stuffing out of each other. TYIA!)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is who the president?

[SO CONFUSED HERE]

What's a president even up and motherfucking being?

[Nope. Lost him.]

It's a thing you can be on Earth sometimes, I think. And if Mr. Strider were to be trusted at all, he was such a person in relation to... honey hookers or something.

[The conversation was a long time ago and before she turned, augh.]

They're the leader of a country, but Honey Hookers? What in the actual fuck?

I think he may have been slightly trolling the fuck out of you. The only relation Dave Strider had to presidents was killing a couple batshit juggalos.

[NOW STARING AT THE JUGGALO ON SCREEN

AND SHUTTING THE FUCK UP]

[It's starts as a soft sound, and quickly becomes a furious teakettle hiss. He doesn't like that word. Not at all.

But then he stops, blinks, and smiles.]

Up to MURDERING THOSE MOTHERFUCKING BLASPHEMERS is being something this brother can get himself all up behind.

[Yeah, someone is still kind of oblivious to the fact that he's technically one too...]

I kind of figured trolling had been what he was doing, but it's nice to finally receive outside confirmation.

[Awkward glance at Gamzee as she distances herself from him a little bit.] I still have no idea what a juggalo is even being, and I'm not actually sure I care to find out.

How can younot know what a Juggalo is, I'm pretty sure you're stood next to one right now Kanaya.

NOT MOTHERFUCKING ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

[He just screamed that, very loud and very very furious.]

LIES AND MOTHERFUCKING BLASPHEMIES WHAT TOOK AWAY ALL THAT WAS BEING GOOD IN HERE. LIES!

[And he's going to try to brutally savage the communicator. He's even biting it. ...yeah.]

Of course you're not one of those motherfuckers; you - have - no - filthy - viviparous - parents!!! [Kanaya is making a desperate, drinker-speed fueled attempt at wrestling the communicator out of Gamzee's mouth with one hand - and the other, slick with venomous saliva, is trying to rub all the clown makeup off Gamzee's face. Because if he's not got any makeup on, he can't be blasphemously called a juggalo, right? Right!

After about ten seconds of this, she calls her work done however much so it may be and finishes up with a hard whack upside the head, which hopefully she's at least advanced enough to catch semiproperly on video.]

Uhh.. yeah.. I mean if humans were dressed like that I'd say they were a juggalo, but since you're a troll, I'm gonna say that you.. definitely... aren't...?

[Trying to save face like fuck here]

[He snarls and struggles for the first five seconds or so, raking jagged nails over whatever skin he can reach in return and trying to smear her makeup.

But then he goes very still, complacent and with a vacant half-smile. The smack only makes him smile more.

His cheeks are hollow under the makeup, and there are dark purple smudges under his eyes. He looks sick without the coat of paint prettying him up.]

Best be down with that knowledge. Don't be letting that knowing give you no slips.

[She leans back for a while, one hand on the ground and the other meticulously wiping back her makeup to reveal naturally black lips.]

Yeah, this one just believes that objects can - and I quote "all up and get their slip on away from you." [That's not an exact quote, but she's called bitchsis for a reason.]

O...kay....

[Just wat.]

Well I guess I'll just.. leave you guys to it or something.. yeah..

[He recognizes it as a jibe and makes a low, but somewhat halfhearted, hiss at Kanaya.]

You'll be up to seeing the truth all in that. Soon.

Yeah, maybe, if something really drastic happens to my ocular globes.

[And she does shut off the feed so that they may be left to it.]

First Blood (Do;)

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