[Text] 9;;

[caligulas_aquarium]

wwell THANKS A WWHOLE FUCKIN LOT

[Bet you missed him, Exsilium. The text. The quirk. Everything.]

no big deal right enemy forces decide to swweep in an bomb the fuck outta evverythin they can see an go transport huntin evveryone figures its no big deal wwell all fuck off right dowwn under an havve ourselvves a subterranean party out of it
oh hey anyone see eridan around wwait wwho givves a shit if he dies he dies an its no wwater off our backs right
not a single one a you bastards showwed hide nor hair in tryin a make sure i wwasnt a charred corpse out in some godforsaken patch a nowwhere that once wwas
wwell tough break to all of you hopin id kick it cause im STILL HERE and im FINE
itd take more than that to knock off the prince a hope im tellin you all noww

Comments

[caligulas_aquarium]

ok this seriously is beyond a joke
stop

[speakveryclearly]

Stop
Why
You Started This

1/2

[caligulas_aquarium]

started WWHAT
youre
oh my god i didnt start nothin you hear me youre the one actin all vvague an clueless here wwhen wwe both knoww its a SHAM
an the more you keep goin wwith this the more im gettin sidetracked an

[caligulas_aquarium]

wwait fuck thats wwhat this is all about isnt it
i cant believve i didnt see that sooner nice try ill givve you that but theres NO WWAY im droppin my guard on this
try harder or just givve up an find somethin else to do wwith your time cause im not fallin for wwhatevver this is
i identified it as somethin i just dont knoww exactly WWHAT yet but its out in the open as a trick renderin its effectivveness useless
im not tellin you wwhere i am

[speakveryclearly]

I Cant Believe Ive Waited So Long To See You Again
And This Is How You Treat Me
I Am Not A Laughing Stock Of Any Kind Least Of All Whatever Kind This Is
However Worthy Of Ridicule You May Find "Sundrenched Monstrosities" To Be

[caligulas_aquarium]

wwhat the fuck do you mean wwaited so long to see me again
pretty sure i expected you to be glad a bein rid a me yet you showw up actin like this EXCUSE ME for thinkin this is all some kinda facade on your part all things considered

1/2

[speakveryclearly]

What On Alternia Would Have Made You Think That

[Filter]

[speakveryclearly]

Is This
About The Dress

[Filter]

[caligulas_aquarium]

wwhat

[Maintained Filter]

[speakveryclearly]

That Is What This Is About
Isnt It
I Should Have Known All Along
Your Entire Series Of Slanderous Lies Has Been An Act Of Elaborate Aristocratic Revenge
I Dont Know How You Reeled Feferi Into Your Scheme Too But I Guess I Almost Deserve It
For Being Such A Sucker

[Maintained Filter]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[...]

no really
wwhat
wwhat dress

[speakveryclearly]

What Dress
The Dress
There Is No Other Dress Eridan
If There Is I Am Seriously Worried About You

[caligulas_aquarium]

WWHAT ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT

[speakveryclearly]

The Dress
What Else
A Critical Item In Our Shared Personal Mythology
At The Time The Apparent Key Back Into A Thriving Auspisticism

Good Lord Have Other Awful Girls Been Making You Wear Dresses

1/3

[caligulas_aquarium]

makin me
wwear

2/3

[caligulas_aquarium]

[caligulas_aquarium]

wwhat the FUCK is wwrong with you i aint evver wworn no dress EVVER
it aint a thing i do wwhy the fuck wwould you evven say that
seriously im lost at this point so im foregoin my usual paranoia regardin the ill wwilled intentions a certain indivviduals an just gonna straight out ask WWHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON HERE
wwhat are you talkin about
cause at this stage im just so utterly fuckin lost i cannot wwrap my thinkpan around this convversation at all
its beyond some bizarre rainboww drinker mind trick bullshit in some sinister attempt at lurin me out at this stage its just complete an utter NONSENSE that i CANT FOLLOWW
so for the lovve a my sanity kan start givvin PROPER EXPLANATIONS cause i cannot handle this for much longer i swwear

[Voice; Maintained Filter]

[speakveryclearly]

[Her voice cracks through deep with emotion and also undeath.] How the fuck do you know I'm a rainbow drinker.

I never got to tell you that. After you got terminated - Eridan, you missed absolutely everything, which was probably almost for the best, but - Gokudera's a magician as it turns out; and Gamzee cut off Medic's head and he didn't come back; and there was this wonderful human witch named Willow - however oxymoronic that is - you never even got to meet her, she'd already been terminated; and... And I got turned, Eridan, I'm a real rainbow drinker now, exactly like in the stories. But I never, ever got to tell you that.

I never got to tell you... so. Many. Things.

[SHE HAD LITERALLY BEEN WILLING TO TELL HIM SHE LOVED HIM THE NIGHT SHE LEFT GOD ***DAMN***]

[Voice; Maintained Filter]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[If he wasn't so used to this kinda situation at this stage he'd probably go on like he had been, probably complaining her explanation wasn't good enough and who the fuck are all these people.

But in all honesty, after all these people coming in from other places before Exsilium and knowing other versions of him, or even the ones who didn't but still mentioned coming from places like this before now, he's kinda caught onto it at this point.

So he replies through voice, sounding a little on the bored side, preceding his words with an annoyed little sigh.]

No, no, let me guess. You were somewhere before this, right? An' - stop me if I'm wrong, I was there! Apparently on much better terms with each other than we ewer were back home.

Plus judgin' from what you'we said, you became a rainbow drinker after I left - [Which, of course, must mean she doesn't know about...hm.] - an' now here you are assumin' this one a' those moments where after all this time apart we're reunitin' an' it's supposed to be great or whatewer.

Am I right?

[speakveryclearly]

...............

[....]

Uncanny.

[That is all she really has to say for now just. Fuck, it is beginning to sink in and she doesn't like this one bit. If he doesn't remember everything - oh good god. God damn it. An awful feeling is slowly filling the space where her alien stomach used to be.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

Yeah, back a' the line there Kan. You're the third person to pull this shit on me already in the time I been here.

But long story short; different Eridan, got no idea where the fuck you been or what happened, yadda yadda sure you figured it out yourself by now.

[He is the most sympathetic.]

[speakveryclearly]

[....................]

Oh.

[.............god fucking DAMN it

Okay Kanaya no matter what no fucking crying it's Eridan here]

Can you at least explain to me why Feferi thinks I would want to murder you though. Because Carriero trials and tribulations or not, we're at the very least friends. Insincerity-based humor only goes so far as an explanational tool before losing its strength.

[caligulas_aquarium]

[...]

...

No.

[speakveryclearly]

[...she is literally so innocent at this moment that she takes this to mean "I have no idea why either; it is just inexplicable from my perspective also". Or, well, not 100%, but close to it.]

I guess I'll have to continue asking her to drop the joking already, then.

[caligulas_aquarium]

[Okay, wow, she...she really might be clueless here.

This is good.]

Well, you know how Fef is. Always jokin' around. Sometimes inappropriately. Hard time takin' anythin' serious, y'know.