[Video]

[withazippo]

Laptops? Last I saw this was in a museum. Guess they're into the antiquities.

[He’ll mess with it a bit and turn it upside down so that the only thing visible is a table for a moment. Some odd scratching noises and rubbing sounds follow, the video fuzzes a bit before clearing back to him facing the camera again. His expression is pretty serious.] Doesn’t look so bad. But is it fireproof?

You never know, this thing could just combust on you when you’re asleep. Burn down the whole apartment structure and a block radius before someone even notices it. People don’t always wake up from excessive smoke inhalation. Sometimes the smoke gets to them first. But… there’s enough of us here that someone is bound to wake up before it gets out of control, right? People not comfortable living in these apartments, maybe? [Shrug, he really doesn’t seem all that bothered by this notion.]

Well, at least these laptops are free. And hey, getting paid to fight in a war? Not bad at all.

Comments

[withazippo]

Yep, pretty much.

[moralperil]

Well you don't have to sound so pleased about it!

[withazippo]

All right then...

[Now with more of an exaggerated sad face] I'm sorry to say that yes, almost everything can explode or be used to fuel fire.

[moralperil]

...You're being kinda rude. Why?

[withazippo]

[He'll laugh]

Oh, my bad. That wasn't my intention in the least! It's just a joke. People here sure are serious, huh?

[moralperil]

I'll have you know that I'm extremely friendly, and funny too. [He's rather flustered, insisting this.]

I just don't think it's nice to joke about things that could really hurt people.

[withazippo]

[He'll hold up his hands]

All right, all right.

So what would you say is okay to joke about?

[moralperil]

Knock-knock jokes are usually okay...?

[withazippo]

Knock-knock jokes? That itself is pretty funny, I've gotta hand it to you... [But he's not laughing.]

[moralperil]

I'm not really a comedian. But at least I'm not mean.

[withazippo]

Hey, it's only mean if you think it's mean. Or if you take it seriously. It's just a joke, man.

[moralperil]

Mean is mean. When people die, it's sad. You can say it's just a joke, but it wouldn't be a joke to someone who lost someone they loved in a fire.

[withazippo]

And now you've gone and ruined every hope of a joke that could have been. [An exaggerated sigh~] My hopes for a comical success are left in ashes. I mean... rubble. Completely flame-retardant rubble.

[moralperil]

You really do have a kinda fire fixation, don't you? Why's that? Why can't you fixate on something a little bit nicer like... cake? Or kittens?

[withazippo]

Fixation... ah, I wouldn't say that. [He's in denial] Maybe, a larger interest than most.

But you gotta admit, it's a lot more interesting than a cat or a cake.

[moralperil]

Not to me! Kittens are cute. They're fun to play with. They're soft. They grow and learn things. They make cute noises. And cake, well, it's wonderful! It makes people happy and it tastes good! And if you like science and stuff, well, baking is chemistry!

[withazippo]

If you're into that kinda thing, sure. Doesn't sound half bad.

Say, have you ever been in a war before?

[moralperil]

...I can't talk about my work with people, sorry! [smiling]

[withazippo]

[Eye brow raise] I can understand that. Seems pretty common, really.

[moralperil]

[Just awkwardly changing the subject.] I could teach you to bake something! With your expertise we'd probably keep the oven from exploding.

[withazippo]

My expertise isn't exactly preventing the fires, you understand. But no thanks anyways, I'm a decent enough cook already.

[moralperil]

You really should find a constructive hobby.

Something that helps end wars instead of continuing them, maybe. [Yes he is really inferring that cake wins wars.]

[withazippo]

I'm not really interested in ending any wars, my friend. That's pretty impossible, don't you think? Really, I just want to survive them.

[moralperil]

[Mahdi makes a face. He's definitely annoyed.] No. I don't think it's impossible, just difficult. And anyway, stopping a war is a way to survive it, isn't it?

[withazippo]

Ah, but usually another one just follows right after it. Pretty awful cycle, really.

But that's not the point. So now I've got to ask you, have you ever tried dealing with an explosive?