text

[caligulas_aquarium]

alright im gonna cut to the chase an keep this real simple im lookin for more a permanent an less shitty housin arrangement
but i aint about to lowwer myself to just stickin wwith the first chump wwho throwws out an offer cause i got a feww prerequisites regardin roommate etiquette im interested in actually havvin fulfilled this time cause the pair i got stuck wwith last time i wwas here had all the sense of a couple of howwler monkeys
one a wwhich couldnt stop himself from breakin shit half the time wwith his freaky mutant strength an the other wwith a broken thinkpan an a fetish for the spontaneous combustion of electronics
im avverse to keepin this short an swweet if only cause those a you wwith the attention span of a gnat wwho aint able to focus for the rest a this post probably aint my usual type a desired company
im evven wwillin to forego my usual manner a wwritin to make it a bit clearer for some a you slowwer sorts so be grateful
here goes

no pets
no psychological issues
no noises loud enough that i can hear em through the walls into my room
no unwanted social contact, no trespassing into my room without permission
no breaking anything in fits of rage
no sabotaging of my personal affairs
no attempting to share my romantic interests
no using my things
no guests after 7pm
no introducing me to your guests
no hogging the living room
no social events
no delusional belief in magic
no puns
decent sense of personal hygiene required
if you know, have ever known or are somehow associated with any of the following:
sollux captor, equius zahhak, gamzee makara, vriska serket, kanaya maryam, lalondes, harleys, striders, bariyan e kodhi or anyone who's spoken poorly of me probably on account of a mutual dislike we have of each other, don't bother applying

Comments

voice;

[payback]

... [loud laugh]

voice;

[biwinning]

I'm kind of thurprithed your name wathn't banned from the litht.

[SKIPPING RIGHT OVER AND NOT EVEN TALKING TO ERIDAN? YES. HE JUST DID THAT.]

1/2

[payback]

[vat ees dees]

[payback]

... He probably forgot it.

[biwinning]

Forgot your name, or forgot to add you? I don't blame him for either.

[payback]

Hey, whose side are you on?

[biwinning]

Mine.

[payback]

Rude! Gosh...

[Not here] 1/3

[caligulas_aquarium]

[Don't reply.

Don't reply.

...don't reply.

Don't reply don't reply don't reply DON'T REPLY DON'T REPLY...]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[DON'T....]

voice;

[caligulas_aquarium]

She breaks like fiwe of the rules, idiot.

[FUCKING]

[payback]

Fiwe...

[caligulas_aquarium]

[ad;gf;jmdp]

You got some sorta problem with the way I talk?

[payback]

It's just so weird.

[caligulas_aquarium]

This here accent's practically praised by the upper echelons of Alternian society, it's a sign of nobility.

Not that I'd expect you to understand that.

voice;

[biwinning]

ONLY five? So she's a prospective candidate then!

[caligulas_aquarium]

If we're talkin' comparatiwely in regards to you, anyone's a prospectiwe, decent choice of roommate.

[biwinning]

You won't find anyone that hasn't hit at least two of those rulesth. Get uthed to it.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Hey I newer said I weren't up to compromise.

I can liwe with a possible pet [only one!!] an' the occasional house guest if I gotta.

[there that's two

voice;

[caligulas_aquarium]

What???

[payback]

I didn't know you were back.

[caligulas_aquarium]

An' the first thing you do is laugh.

So you're still crazy then.

[payback]

I guess you didn't make much of a splash... [totally unintentional nautical pun a w y e a h]

[caligulas_aquarium]

That don't make a fuckin' lick a sense!

Fess up, you only said that to make the pun, didn't you.

[payback]

What? What do you mean?