Entry II | Video

[andhishat]

[The sight that appears on your device's screens is that of a wall of smoke, and hopefully you had the speakers turned down because the fire alarms they use here aren't exactly pleasant on the ears. For a minute that's all there is, smoke obscuring vague shapes and the sound of the alarm screeching its head off, but if you stick with it you soon see a shape start moving in through the black clouds, the sound of coughing audible under the alarm. Finally, Reya emerges from the smoke, her hand over her mouth.]

Enough!

[She gestures and shoots two little red orbs off in different directions. There's a loud crack and the sound of glass breaking, and suddenly the alarm disintegrates into static, and the smoke starts to lessen, just slightly. A gust of magically conjured wind speeds it along.]

May Ithilids starve themselves on the brains of whatever sadist designed these infernal machines!

[She turns back to the camera, wiping soot from her cheek.]

I'm certain the one who wrote the instructions on the back of our food is either long dead or not very concerned with my plight, but I would like to inform those providing it that not every world uses whatever absurd system you people have for measuring the passage of time.

[Coughing as she tries to take a calming breath]

Since I find myself with the choice of continually risking burning down my residence, starvation, or throwing myself upon the kindness of others, I am hoping some among you might be willing to explain 'minutes' and 'seconds' to me, as well as the proper use of this 'mi-crow-wave' device?

Also, to those living with me, I apologize for the mess, [She glances over her shoulder] and the window. I'll clean it up as soon as I'm able.

[OOC: Basically, Reya tried to use the microwave, and coming from a world where time measurement is based on people's best guess she made a botch job of it. Roommates feel free to action tag]

Comments

[acemedium]

Y-You don't know how to use a microwave? But it's an essential in any living environment!

[andhishat]

Evidently not, as I am still alive, as is everyone else where I am from.

Well, except the undead.

[acemedium]

You must be an exception!

Or... [PAUSE FOR EFFECT] are you undead too?!

[andhishat]

Yes, I'm a cruel and diabolical Lich, here to deprive you of all your my-crow-waves!

[acemedium]

[DRAMATIC GASP!] I knew it! The lack of microwaves must have sent you spiraling into a descent of villainy and brain-eating!

But you won't get away with it!

[andhishat]

And how do you plan to stop me puny hero? My diabolical plans are already in motion, no one can prevent what is coming!

[She throws her head back with a pretty convincing evil laugh, almost like she's heard others give this exact same speech like a thousand times before]

1/2

[acemedium]

P-Puny!?

[acemedium]

[Ahem, focused here!]

Not so fast, evildoer! [Wait, is that a cool enough hero line? Oh well, it's too late now] Those microwaves won't do you any good if you don't know how to use them!

And I've faced down meaner-looking leeches than you! [That's "liches", Maya]

[andhishat]

Oh, nice one. Excellent energy in your delivery, and good work pointing out the flaw in my diabolical plan.

[Very much grinning]

But it's 'liches' not leeches. Though I suppose I might have a few giant ones of those lurking about for foolish heroes.

[acemedium]

You too! That's such an amazing evil laugh I bet you could out-sinister the Evil Magistrate!

Liches, leeches, they're practically the same thing, right? Nasty and evil and wanna suck your blood and stuff!

[andhishat]

Thanks, I've listened to so many, I've been able to learn what works best.

No, see, you're thinking of vampires there. Liches just want to monologue and unlock dark secrets of black magic.

[acemedium]

That's what makes you so great at being diabolical!

Don't all bad guys want to monologue?