text; a bit past midnight!

[quackery]

so if you somehow had the choice to stay here or go home right now what would you do? pretend you don't have, like, a few days to think it over or anything. you just have to pick. 60 seconds or less! i just want to see what people would do

[No ulterior motives here; she really is simply curious to hear what people have to say about the topic. Listening to different opinions on a large subject like this is a good way to spend a night - or morning, as it were.]

Comments

[quackery]

wait really?

[5055034455]

Yeah, really.

What are they teaching you kids in school nowadays??

[quackery]

i only went to school for like three years! it's not their fault

anyways i always thought you were all like smarter and more civilized and stuff than any animal so why would you all choose to classify yourself that way

[Humans are weird.]

[5055034455]

THREE YEARS???

And because it's science. It's not a choice of classification — that's just how it works. We are, technically, animals. We evolved from animals. Our instincts are still very animal-like. This, I'd wager, is why crime exists and will continue to exist forever and ever... or until we're wiped out. Whichever comes first.

[quackery]

i wasn't human until i was thirteen! so yeah three years

also noooo i never said i thought there would ever be no crime, i said if that it happened somehow there wouldn't be a need for jails

[5055034455]

How the heck did that even happen, anyway?

also I think we would have to be robots for that to happen, just saying

[quackery]

thatttt is a long and probably really confusing story can i give you the short version

for there to be no crime or for there to be no jails?

[5055034455]

Sure. Is there a witch involved?

And both, but mostly the former.

[quackery]

what

no

why is that the first thing you assume

[There's a delay before the next part of the message comes through, though, because she... probably should have decided what exactly the short version would be before she sent the previous text.]

well okay so like... there was this boy

[Best place to start okay.]

maybe. but you know with enough technology you could probably create a robot with feelings

[5055034455]

[It's the first thing he assumes because that's what he's familiar with, in terms of animals-being-turned-into-humans and vice versa.

but no now he's just going to laugh because of course there was a boy]

Was he a cute boy?

And let's not discuss sentient robots. That's terrifying.

[quackery]

yes

[Now she can't even go on this is so embarrassing.]

why is that terrifying

[5055034455]

Did he feed you bread or something?

And because that's pretty much an apocalypse scenario. Robots taking over. no thanks

[quackery]

no he needed my help and there was this other guy who had magic! that's the short version there you go

but if they had feelings they wouldn't be any different than us and there are tons of worlds where humans haven't taken over completely

[5055034455]

He needed help from a duck?

and no

stop

nightmare fodder

[quackery]

no he needed help from a human that's why i'm not a duck right now

fine whatever

[5055034455]

But were you a duck when you met? I'm confused.

[quackery]

i told you this was confusing! okay let me start over

okay so there was this boy who needed help doing something for him, and this other man who had a way to turn someone human, so he was like, do you want to be human and help him, and i was like, sure, and that's what happened

[5055034455]

so no matter what this story involves someone talking to a duck

[quackery]

well not talking so much as like

he just did it and then asked later if i wanted to stay this way? i think

the beginning is kind of hard to recall

[5055034455]

This is the weirdest story I've ever heard.

[quackery]

i told you it was going to be confusing!!