text; a bit past midnight!

[quackery]

so if you somehow had the choice to stay here or go home right now what would you do? pretend you don't have, like, a few days to think it over or anything. you just have to pick. 60 seconds or less! i just want to see what people would do

[No ulterior motives here; she really is simply curious to hear what people have to say about the topic. Listening to different opinions on a large subject like this is a good way to spend a night - or morning, as it were.]

Comments

[quackery]

big cities + small cities = everywhere??

[5055034455]

Pretty much.

[quackery]

so

everywhere has a lot of drugs and crime

[5055034455]

Most places have at least some.

[quackery]

that's gross

[5055034455]

But without it, I'd have no job!

[quackery]

SAUL that is really bad reasoning!!! you could've found another job

[5055034455]

But then the world would be -1 amazing defense attorney! :(

Think of all the innocent people who could've wound up in jail!

[quackery]

but then it would be +1 some other cool profession

also if there was no crime there wouldn't be a need for jails so nobody would wind up in them

[5055034455]

Duckling, your idealism hurts my teeth.

suddenly private;

[quackery]

don't call me that

also that's realistic! why would there be prisons otherwise

oops;

[5055034455]

But :(

Are you familiar with how the animal kingdom works?

And I'm asking that seriously, not just because of the duck thing

good job;

[quackery]

but what??

that depends on what part of it you mean. like just behavior in general?

also people aren't animals except me so it's going to be different for humans

[5055034455]

People are definitely animals.

People = humans

Humans = mammals

Mammalia = a class in the animal kingdom

[quackery]

wait really?

[5055034455]

Yeah, really.

What are they teaching you kids in school nowadays??

[quackery]

i only went to school for like three years! it's not their fault

anyways i always thought you were all like smarter and more civilized and stuff than any animal so why would you all choose to classify yourself that way

[Humans are weird.]

[5055034455]

THREE YEARS???

And because it's science. It's not a choice of classification — that's just how it works. We are, technically, animals. We evolved from animals. Our instincts are still very animal-like. This, I'd wager, is why crime exists and will continue to exist forever and ever... or until we're wiped out. Whichever comes first.

[quackery]

i wasn't human until i was thirteen! so yeah three years

also noooo i never said i thought there would ever be no crime, i said if that it happened somehow there wouldn't be a need for jails

[5055034455]

How the heck did that even happen, anyway?

also I think we would have to be robots for that to happen, just saying

[quackery]

thatttt is a long and probably really confusing story can i give you the short version

for there to be no crime or for there to be no jails?

[5055034455]

Sure. Is there a witch involved?

And both, but mostly the former.

[quackery]

what

no

why is that the first thing you assume

[There's a delay before the next part of the message comes through, though, because she... probably should have decided what exactly the short version would be before she sent the previous text.]

well okay so like... there was this boy

[Best place to start okay.]

maybe. but you know with enough technology you could probably create a robot with feelings

[5055034455]

[It's the first thing he assumes because that's what he's familiar with, in terms of animals-being-turned-into-humans and vice versa.

but no now he's just going to laugh because of course there was a boy]

Was he a cute boy?

And let's not discuss sentient robots. That's terrifying.

[quackery]

yes

[Now she can't even go on this is so embarrassing.]

why is that terrifying