exsilium | file.03 ◆

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[ With Rika being reluctant, the transmission is silent at first. She has to remind herself that there are others like her that have a dead end fate. It's not like home, not like when her own parents refused to take her words seriously.

When she speaks up, her tiny voice is carried across the feed. She sounds sullen and tired. ]

After this war is won, if everyone is returned to their respective worlds, what will happen to those who don't have a future back home? If we were a corpse in the ground, is that what we'd return to being? [ In Rika's case, there aren't many futures left for her. She believes she might as well be dead already. ]

Or is that a question that has yet to be answered with complete certainty? I'm sorry if it has been asked before, but I would like to know.

...If there's a small chance, even a one percent chance that I can reunite with the people most precious to me in this world, then... I think I would prefer to stay here and wait for them.

[ It hasn't happened for her yet, but there's still a little bit of hope in her. And, she's beginning to feel awkward about bringing this sort of subject up. ] ...I'm sorry again if I've said anything strange.

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Wait... you mean to say the dead can come back to life here?

Yes. I have spoken to a few others and the last memory they have of their world is their death.

[ Instantly, he foolishly thinks of Wing, amonsgt many other things all at once. ]

Well then your question isn't strange at all. For those people... I imagine this time is precious.

Huh. I didn't think about that.

[ A shrug, not that she can see it. ]

Maybe they'll ship you to a different world. This is my second, besides the one I came from.

[Whoa that's deep. Well all things considered she can't be surprised if people have died and been brought back. But... she sounds really young. That's horrible for someone young to worry about that.

Kido thinks about it for herself. She can't imagine being dead but she can imagining losing her friends. That's enough.]

...Anyone would want that chance. If there's a chance to be happy together, then enduring a war is fine. ...That's what a lot of people would probably think, too.

[Including her.]

[Rika might not be able to see, but Rinoa's frowning right now. She's been wondering if something's been wrong with her housemate for a while now, and this just seems to confirm it.]

I'm not sure if that's a question anyone could really answer. If they did go back to nothing, then how'd they come back here to tell us about it?

[She honestly doesn't want to think about what that'd mean for someone if they managed to do just that.]

Hey, are you feeling okay? Nothing's wrong, right?

[She's allowed to worry about someone she lives with, isn't she? Maybe there's something she can do to try and cheer her up later.]

Let me know if you find the answer. I need to know too.

But I don't know if my family will find their way here when they die. I'm afraid that they won't.

[ In this sort of world, it's not so strange. It's kind of a relief for her... but she couldn't help but feel somewhat scared upon first making her audio post. ]

Precious? Because they're granted a second chance at life?

...I wonder what sort of world they would whisk me off to next. [ If it's something like that, she hopes she doesn't wind up alone. ]

Your second? What was the other one?

Exactly. That's an incredible gift, one that should be cherished.

[ ~*DEEP*~! ...But yes, she's normally not openly talkative about the subject of death, but ever since returning from the mission in Uruguay, she's making no effort in putting up a cheerful mask. ]

If this world gives us that chance then I wonder, how long will it take for a miracle like that to occur?

[ How much more does she have to endure to be happy? She already had to go through hundreds of years of a living hell. Always waiting... ]

[ She has been holed up in her room, laying around, and only coming out to eat or collect groceries. ]

...I'm exhausted. That's all.

[ With all the questions she's posing, there's obviously more to it. She knows she's lying horribly, but she doesn't seem to care. ]

I hope I can find an answer. [ Or maybe, they'll never know until the war actually comes to a close. She's also afraid that her beloved ones won't be able to join her either. There was never a familiar face whenever she checked around the Hold for the new Transport arrivals, yet she continues to grasp onto a sliver of hope. ]

...Perhaps the Initiative will randomly find them, just like the way they found us.

I'd love that. There's so much that I'd want to say while I had the chance.

I guess you haven't seen signs of who you're looking for either.

[Even though Rika can see it, Kido is scratching her head over this. Geez, she's not someone good at talking about these things. And she doubts she knows the right thing to say.]

You have to make a miracle happen, don't you? The future doesn't want to give you what you want. Someone else is always changing the future for you while you're stuck dealing with the consequences.

[There's a huff and Kido wonders if what she's saying makes any sense or if it's just making it worse.]

...I guess I mean... your situation might be helpless, I don't know. But if there's a change you can make, I'll go with you to these adults and try to make it happen, too.

[Topic of Death? Who better than Death himself!...ok maybe it won't be that great, actually.]

The initiative have no right keeping the dead here and sustaining their existence.

Disturbing the balance of Life and Death isn't a light action to take. Everyone dies for a reason.

This isn't the only world that ignores death. If they can't be returned to their worlds alive, they may be placed in a different world after this.

[Tsk, tsk. That's not going to do at all, gosh Rika.]

Exhaustion? Are you sleeping okay? [Rinoa's had plenty of her own sleeping issues lately, though she's been trying not to show it.] Is there anything I can do?

[The fact that it's more than that is obvious, even to Rinoa. Still, she's not entirely sure how to address that.]

[ Rika... is not someone she expected to hear this from. She hesitates, as if she doesn't know what to say (spoilers: she really doesn't), but after a minute: ]

Don't apologize. It's normal to worry about that stuff, right? Ahahaha... [ Things are different for her. She needs to go back and fight, even if death is probably waiting at the end of the road, but it shouldn't be like that for anyone else. ] I guess it depends. I couldn't accept an offer like that, but I hope you get the chance.

We might not know until the technology is good enough to work without the element of randomness! Maybe people can, maybe people can't. Worrying about that kind of stuff is natural, but too much is gonna fog up your head for sure!

Maybe there's some of those that rather go back to death.

Lost most of my memories about the place, but its name was in Latin. All I remember about the place is that I got really close to someone I used to fight all the time. Guess a life or death situation will do that to you.

[ She sounds so small and Gwen feels as if her heart is shattered, that a voice this delicate is perished in some world. She exhales, tries not to think about what would happen if people who are dead in her own realm would come here, if she could see her father again - but no. ]

I do not have an answer for you but I do wish you could have your wish and remain here.

[He hadn't precisely planned on interacting on the network -- besides his unfamiliarity with his computer and inability to type properly, Kariya is also wary of making his presence too well-known.

He hasn't confirmed the presence of other Masters, Servants or magi here, after all.

There's something about the small voice that tugs on his heart, though. He finds himself pecking out a reply before he realizes it.]

that would be poor reward for service
they may not completely understand their own technology but if the initiative has come as far as it is said they have then there must be a way for them to grant your wish
you're not alone in it

[He stares at the last line for a long time. He hadn't realized it was a possibility until it was written. If Sakura came here-- He tries not to think about it for now.]

Edited 2013-02-06 22:08 (UTC)

[Such a depressing topic, and hearing those words coming from Rika saddens Sheryl, to the point where it'd be detected in her voice.]

I've met a girl who died in her world, and she's able to get a second chance in life here. I just wished better circumstances exist, a world where you didn't have to get involved in war.

[Like she did in a way. A pause as Sheryl exhales gently.]

But it's how you make of it that counts, right?

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