exsilium | Voice;

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Voice;

[Private to Emma Frost:]

[Wow, she is just the most unsure about this...]

I -- have to ask you something. It probably sounds stupid, I'm pretty sure it doesn't even work this way, but -- do you sense other telepaths? It's just that I don't think -- I -- Charles isn't here any more, is he?

[ End Private to Emma Frost]

[Some time later, the following voice post goes up. Mystique is -- very pointedly not showing her face right now, and she sounds a little shaky.]

For anyone who knew Charles -- my brother, Charles Xavier -- he isn't here any more.

Just -- so everyone knows.

[And she clicks off the feed, because she's going to go have her own private pity party. She knew that the little bit of peace she got here, pretending that things were okay with her brother, wouldn't last ... but she hadn't wanted to think about how exactly it would come to an end. The selfish part of her had always hoped she'd be the one to go home first. It had happened once before, after all.]

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[Seriously, this elf -- she's so cute...]

I don't know if I'd be very good company. Someone's coming over who's not very good at noticing, though.

[Wesley.]

But -- thanks. That's pretty impressive, remembering someone's voice.

[No, really. She's not being rude.]

[Gently.] It's a pretty voice. Sweet. It reminds me of home.

Would you like someone to talk to before your guest arrives?

[She asks the question in a tentative voice, careful not to push. Being alone might not be good, but being forced to open up to people can be worse. Merrill is familiar with that, and she doesn't want anyone else to go through it.]

[Mystique would probably feel like a huge ass for denying Merrill's kind offer, even if opening up over this network isn't a great idea. She's already started sipping on her drink, so that helps a little too.]

A distraction's probably good. What's your world like? The -- uh, good parts of it.

[No need to get more depressed over something someone else was going to be telling her.]

Simple.

[A quiet, wistful sigh escapes her.]

This place seems... complicated, with its technology. But back home, we're a simpler sort, especially the elvhenan. The People are nomads, we go where our halla take us. The aravels, the landships, carry us from place to place, and we roam through the lands going where we please. We are closer to the land than the humans. We walk along the soft grass with bare feet and feel the cool morning dew against our skin.

There are many ruins, the remnants of ancient human empires, but they're very lovely now. [When they're not filled with demons but who's counting.] They're overgrown by the land, so lush and green. Sometimes I think the palaces and manses must have been very lovely, but I can't help buy think they're made lovelier by the plants and animals that have made their home there.

[It's nice to listen to someone who appreciates nature. She might not be so intimate and close with it now, but there was a time -- quite some time, and not always pleasant -- when she'd spent her days and nights in the forest, surviving.]

That does sound nice. Sometimes the city just seems too -- crowded, but you still feel alone. It's weird.

[She pauses.]

Are there a lot of groups of -- elvhenan? Or do you all travel as one group, a large one?

I never felt more alone than I did when I left my people to live in Kirkwall. You're surrounded by people, but none of them look at you. They pass you by without saying hello, and sometimes they smile and nod, but you know they don't know you. It's... empty.

[But this isn't about being sad, so she latches onto the last question.]

Oh, no, there are many clans. But we don't talk too much, or see each other often. There are many humans who don't like us, so we stay apart to keep each other safe. But there are... well, I suppose there aren't a lot of us, but there are enough. It seems like a lot. Until you go to Kirkwall. There are so many people there.

But the elvhenan, we travel in smaller clans. Every decade, the keepers gather for the Arlathvhen. They share new lore, remember the old lore. They memorize the names of any new children and forget the names of those who died. It's the only way we have to keep track of our people. Oh, and that's how I went to the Mahariel clan. Originally, I was an Alerion, but they had too many mages, so I left my birth clan and joined another. But we're all one family, we belong to each other, so it wasn't like leaving home, not really. Not the way humans think of it.

[It actually makes her feel better, knowing that Merrill is happy with the way that her family -- whatever that means to her -- run things. She smiles, though it isn't something that's heard.]

That's -- good, that you take care of each other like that. I think I understand what that's like.

[Charles had taken care of her because she had been 'like him', at least at some point. That -- counted.]

We only had each other, really.

Once, the elves lived in Arlathan. It means the place I love. We didn't age, and all the magic of Thedas was ours to command. The lore says we spent our time in peace, and in learning. Sometimes, when the older generation became too weary, we would sleep. Uthenera, they call it. The endless dream.

I can't imagine why you'd want to leave a place like that.

[She senses a 'and then the humans came and ruined everything' impending, but saying that out loud sounds -- bitter, even if that's more or less what she is.]

Things change. We changed, I guess. I wouldn't trade what we have for it, I don't think. Living with the clans is wonderful. Settling in one place, one city is... much harder.

[She makes a small noise.]

That makes sense. It's nice, but it also -- you lose a lot of things, I guess.

We hold on to what we have.

That's all we can do. [She makes a thoughtful sound.] The People have Keepers to remember. They remember who we are, the good and the bad. I think... you have to be your own Keeper, now. Remembering your brother. And I'm sure you'll see him again.

I'm just worried that when we see each other, it'll be under -- less-than-ideal circumstances.

[In fact, she's worried it might be in direct conflict.]

[Merrill is quiet for a moment.]

Even in... in circumstances like that... [Her voice is tight with her own grief, but she tries to mask it.] It's better to see that person, even if they are... unhappy. Or disagreeable. Or angry.

[Whoops, she seems to have accidentally upset the girl. She just tries to act agreeable.]

You're probably right.

Maybe. [She sounds chipper again.] People are different, and families are odd, but I like to think--

If I had a sister who missed me like you miss your brother, I'd want to see her again, in any circumstance.

[She's glad to hear that she didn't somehow ruin the girl's night.]

Yeah, I guess so. Things are really up in the air back home, anyway.

Then maybe when they come down, it will be in a good way. [Her voice is bright with optimism.] Or in a good but unexpected way. You never know.

That's true. Home can be just as surprising as this place.

I think I'd expect the unexpected here. If Anders suddenly appeared and swore of mage freedom, I wouldn't be surprised. It seems like that kind of place.

Are you better, now? A little?

--a little, yeah.

Thanks.

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