[WOW OKAY. That was definitely unexpected. But now she's even more worried for this kid. Her voice remains calm, if not softening in an attempt to reassure him. ]

If that is an option you don't want to take then you there's certainly no one who can make you. I only mention it because from what you describe it was a possible way to give you this magic you need. Now please, can you at least tell me how you would normally get this magic?