exsilium | 001

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001 | video

[Kili doesn't waste time with formalities. He looks strained and tired, dark shadows lining his eyes. No doubt he hasn't been sleeping well.]

I'm looking for Thorin Oakenshield. He's a dwarf like me, dark hair, blue eyes, probably carrying an elvish sword. I've been told he is here, but so far I've been unable to locate him.

[His hands are trembling slightly as he draws one over his face, rubbing lightly.]

If anyone has information on him, please tell me. [A moment of hesitation.] My name is Kili and the best place to find me would be the training rooms.

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You've not found him yet?

[She feels for you Kili. And wishes she could tell you exactly where he'd gone.]

[Kili shakes his head, looking defeated.]

No. ...I'm worried something has happened to him.

[If her expression wasn't soft already, it is now.]

No need to be. I've not known him long but he seems too hearty and stubborn a dwarf to let anything keep him back.

[Kili looks like he wants to say something but thinks better of it.]

...Celebrian, do you mind if we meet somewhere? I want to talk face to face.

[That's a little surprising. With Elrond's disappearance again though, she wouldn't mind company.]

I don't mind. Is there anywhere particular you'd like to go?

[He gives her a brief, strained smile.] Somewhere out of the rain, but distanced from everyone else.

[Kili doesn't trust anything about this place, with its the strange communicator devices and people that don't even know what dwarves are. But he wants to talk and he trusts Celebrian enough to hear him out and keep it quiet.]

Hm...

[It takes her a moment and she has to think. She'd suggest the Civic Garden but the place tends to depress her. So that's off the list. The library would certainly be visited by enough people already.

Oh.]

There are a few unused rooms in the training complex. We could meet there if you'd like.

Oh, of course. [He nods, biting the inside of his cheek.]

...Thank you. I'll meet you there in half an hour?

You're welcome. I'll see you shortly than.

[She gives him a little smile before flicking off her tablet.]

[Kili's there in less than half an hour, picking a corner and sitting down. His wound's still healing and he hasn't been resting as much as he should, so he's far more exhausted than he ought to be.

He'll try not to doze off while he waits, but it may be a losing battle.]

[And she'll be there, about ten minutes later, with her cloak covering her shoulders and head now damp with rain. And then slipping it off and folding it over her arm them before looking to him.]

Kili?

[Whoops, Kili's nodded off in that short time, head bowed and his bow in his lap. He jerks awake at Celebrian's voice, head coming up quickly to see the elf. A small smile tugs at his lips and he pushes himself up to his feet, giving a quick bow.]

Lady Celebrian.

[He gets a light laugh for that, the elf shaking her head.]

None of that now, we're friends. How are you? Is everything alright?

[Friends. That sounds nice. Kili's smile is hesitant but hopeful.]

Can...can I speak honestly with you?

[What else would they be? She and Kili were already getting along better in just a few days than she and Thorin have in months.]

Of course you can.

[Kili lets out a sigh and sets his bow down, letting it rest for now.]

...I've never been alone like this before. [He admits it softly.] There has always been someone to take care of me. My brother, usually. And Thorin. But here, I'm alone. Everyone says Thorin's here, but he isn't where I can find him, and I've worn out nearly every possibility.

[Kili's hands shake and he looks down.] Truly, Celebrian? I'm afraid.

Oh, Kili...

[Surprising how similar his feelings now are to how she had felt when she'd first arrived. The difference being that Elrond and her mother had found her but she'd been far from home and confused, having never even had to fight a day in her life before coming here.]

Everyone is afraid and you're not alone. You've got friends already, allies. You don't have to be afraid with us.

What if Thorin's hurt? [He looks up from the ground and meets Celebrian's gaze, brown eyes glittering with moisture.] What if he's out dying somewhere and I could do something to help him but I can't find him? What if I never see my brother again?

[His lower lip trembles, his eyes dark and lined with shadows.]

[She kneels down and sits in front of him, one hand moving to lightly touch his cheek.]

We'll know, we'll find out. Whatever happens to him, we'll find out.

[Leaning forward, she wraps her arms around him then, hugging him tightly and as warmly as she can like when her boys would come to her scared of some night terror.]

I'll tell you some of the things I've learned here.

If we die, they can heal us. It's terribly frightening and leaves you disoriented after but you continue living.

And you will see your brother again. Elrond has gone home twice now, as have I. I spent over a hundred years back in Middle Earth before the Initiative saw fit to bring me back.

[The embrace comes as a surprise, and Kili tenses at first, but a moment passes and he throws himself into it. No one is here to see him but Celebrian, and oh how he needs some affection. It's what he thrives off of, the way he connects with others and how he feels loved.

His arms wrap around the elf, fingers curling into her damp robe as he hides his face in her shoulder and closes his eyes tightly. He feels a bit like a child like this, but not in a bad way. He feels...safe. Protected. Not quite so alone.

After a few moments, he lifts his head just enough to make eye contact with her. A few tears have spilled down his cheeks.]

S-so Thorin will be back for me?

[And suddenly it's even more alike comforting her boys than she imagined it could be. She knows he's not a child like they had been, she's familiar enough with dwarves from her own youth, but everyone needs this kind of comfort at times. Even she had gone to her mother, while here, to curl up against the older elf and just be held or sung to.

One hand lightly brushes through his hair while she let's him hold onto her and when he lifts his head, she brushes away the tears.]

Of course he will.

[He smiles just a little, eyes still watery. A short little laugh escapes him but he doesn't let go of her just yet.]

..Forgive me, I...

[He takes in a deep, shaky breath.]

I miss my family.

You needn't ask forgiveness. Everyone has someone that they miss.

[That's okay Kili, hold on as long as you need to. She hasn't got anywhere to be or anything to do besides mend a dress and she's not training with her mother today.]

Celebrian?

[He looks up at her again, looking faintly nervous.]

Could you not tell anyone that I...um...that this happened?

[She smiles, just a bit amused.]

You have my word, I'll not tell a soul.

[She knows how prideful dwarves can be and, despite how Kili is feeling now, she's sure he's not any different.]

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