exsilium | o4 ✍ sharpe's return ✍ audio

[ Usually Sharpe goes for video, but he chooses otherwise this time. He would've gone for text, but writing's difficult enough when he doesn't have to try to press keys in a board that makes no sense whatsoever.

Strong Yorkshire accent. There's a background noise of shaah, shaah, shaah, of knife going through wood. If anyone can recognise it, Sharpe is whittling. ]

They've been telling us this is the future. [ Pause. A quiet snort. ] Or at least, one version of it.

[ There's a longer pause. ]

What'd you do - any of you - if you realise that what you've been doing all yer life don't mean nowt? That yer not remembered at all? Things happened as they should, without you, and there ain't a single thing you did that meant anything?

[ Shorter pause, as if he's going to say something else. Then a heavy sigh, and he switches off the feed.

Over a month ago, Sharpe found the records of the Napoleonic Wars. Practically everyone he knows and everyone who means something to him are not there.

Welp. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is being remembered really what you think makes a life meaningful?

I think perhaps it's more important that you did the best you could and accomplished what you set out to do. Maybe you won't be told of in stories, but that doesn't mean what you did wasn't important. After all, if you don't think what you do with your life is important in the first place, what's the point of doing it at all?

[ It's a good thing you're a girl, or else he'll have snapped at you. ]

I didn't do what I did fer the good of world. [ Still, he sounds more than a little growly. ]

[Wow, touchy, man. Sango hesitates briefly, but continues despite the lack of a good reception.]

Then why?

[ He turns the question on her. ]

Why, you do everything only fer the good of the world?

No. But there's more than one other reason that people do things.

[ He makes a sound. Like, "G'on". ]

You didn't do whatever you did for no reason. Friends and family, love, revenge, justice, even... greed or ambition. [Her tone at the last two makes it clear that she's not exactly down with them, but still.]

And if the reason wasn't for the good of the world, then what's the point of being remembered by it, anyway? Whatever the reason you do something, you do it because it's at least a little important to you. That's the part that has meaning, isn't it?

What has meaning is what's done. Not fer what reason it's done. If a General tries his best fer the sake of his country but still loses the war, the dead men won't be comforted because he did it fer his country.

Fair enough. But are you talking about trying to do something and failing, or accomplishing something that has no impact? It seemed to be the latter when you spoke originally.

Aye. That's right.

Not all actions are remembered, or even seen. But all of them change things.

[ Chuckles. ]

Lass, telling me such sweet words are of no use, not when me own eyes have seen that they're empty.

You asked a question, I gave my answer. I can't help it if you don't like what I say.

[She doesn't say this defensively, though; more observant than anything.]

[ Pause. He should really stop, but Sharpe has been angry about this for over a month. So: ]

Have you ever been in a war where you kill people just like you, except they wear different colours?

...No.

There ain't no change possible in that kind of war. People die because they're told ta die, and that's all there is ta it.

[ Pa...use... ]

'pologies. This ain't any talk fer a lass.

Don't apologize. I'm not a little girl, and I'm capable of handling much more than you probably think I am.

[This she says grimly, with no small amount of frustration. She stopped being a little girl after her possessed little brother murdered her father and her entire village was slaughtered by demons. And Sango decided long before that she wouldn't be patronized by bitter old soldiers who seem to think she's never seen a battle before.]

Perhaps you're right. I can't speak for you because I've never been in that situation. But what I do know is that if you're fighting for the right reason, and if you know that victory is worth all the costs, then doubting the worth of what you're doing isn't really something you tend to run into.

Maybe that's not the kind of battle you are fighting. I know you don't always get to choose which ones you're offered, or the reasons for them. But if the victory is not worth the cost, then why fight at all?

Because you'll be dead by hanging or starvation otherwise. [ Sharpe chuckles, a little grim. ]

Few soldiers choose ta fight because they wanted ta or because it's worth it, lass. Not in me world, not the way I see it. [ Pause. ] They fought fer their lives, they died, and the world forgets 'bout 'em.

Aye, it's a bitter pill ta swallow.

[A sigh as she realizes, suddenly, something she should have a while back.]

You're not looking for other opinions, are you? Or at least, ones that conflict with yours. You don't think there's a side that isn't terrible, and even if one existed you wouldn't be interested in hearing it. You just want to be angry at the injustice of the whole situation. And at how it seems you're the only one who cares about it.

[A bitter pill, indeed. But not an entirely unfamiliar one.]

No. [ Overly patiently: ]

I'd just rather people not talk their mouths sore ta try ta convince me 'bout things they don't understand. Things might be so in yer world, lass, but it ain't in mine, and trying ta convince me it's so is stupid when you don't know anything 'bout me world.

Why ask in the first place if you think nobody else is going to understand because they don't live in your world?

[Don't mind her, she's just sort of embarrassed. 8D;;]

Because I thought people here might have a bit more brains than I do, or they'd know better than ta make assumptions or go fer empty words.

[ Is he growling? Yes. ]

[excuse you, Sango is far from stupid, if that's what you're implying! Humph. Also, that growling thing? Dumb.]

I don't need to sit here and be insulted by a bitter old man with nothing better to do than stew in his own futility. Have a nice day, and I hope that someone finds the patience to tell you something you want to hear.

[Said stiffly, and followed by Sango fumbling uselessly for the button to hang up for a long few seconds in which her face grows steadily redder. Finally, she disconnects.]

o4 ✍ sharpe's return ✍ audio

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voice; I'm sorry agh ;; she's got a temper on her haha.